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July 2013 Moms
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Miserable and yet feeling guilty....

cpt430cpt430
in July 2013 Moms
I really need to just ramble my thoughts for a while and was hoping that someone on here could relate.  When I try to talk to my husband about this he just looks at me and says he wishes he could understand.... while nice, it doesn't really help.  This is my fifth pregnancy, third baby.  We got pregnant easily with the first two and I had very easy, very smooth pregnancies with both boys.  Then when we decided for a third a little under two years ago we were also pregnant quickly with little effort only to find that I had miscarried at 6 weeks at our nine week appointment.  We were heartbroken.  After the miscarriage I began having a lot of problems with my cycle and after many trips to the doctor telling them something was not right I was diagnosed with PCOS.  I am your very atypical PCOS patient and so it took several trips and tests for them to discover it.  Right at the time I was diagnosed I must have spontaneously ovulated after three months without a cycle and discovered two weeks later I was pregnant. We were all in shock including the doctor.  That pregnancy too ended just a few weeks later.  I was so very broken emotionally at that point, but agreed to try metformin for the PCOS.  I was amazed at how almost immediately the metformin was making me feel so much better hormonally on a daily basis!  Two cycles after my second d and c we were pregnant with this baby.  We were so excited and yet so terrified at the same time.  Like I said, my pregnancies with my two boys were so easy and went by quickly, but this one is d-r-a-g-g-gi-n-g by and I feel so completely miserable already.  I can't sleep, I have horrible indigestion if I so much as look at food, my back hurts, I am having anxiety terribly, I have been very sick (bronchitis, stomach bug)..... I just really want July 28 to be here and to be finished with this pregnancy.  That makes me feel really bad to say because of how badly we prayed for this baby, everything we went through, and it will be my last pregnancy.  I want to enjoy it but don't feel as if I can because of how i feel everyday.  I quit my teaching job after eight years at the end of last school year because I really wanted to stay home with our kids and I don't regret my decision for a second, but I think that is making this pregnancy harder in some regards because I am not as mentally challenged throughout the day and so the days go by slower.  I feel so guilty for feeling as if I just want this pregnancy over with, but I do.  Thank you for allowing me to get that all out, I needed it.  I am hoping some of you understand how I am feeling...............
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Re: Miserable and yet feeling guilty....

  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    I am very sorry for your losses. 

    Please don't feel bad or hard on yourself. Even after my two losses I understand intellectually that pregnancy is hard on the body. I envy those women who don't have back problems or sev


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  • aehamilton13aehamilton13 member
    I'm so sorry for your losses. While I haven't experienced that, I also haven't had the easiest pregnancy - stomach bug, cold/sinus infection that wouldn't go away, back pain, hip pain, acid reflux bad enough to make me cry, morning sickness (all day sickn
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  • BritnpatBritnpat member
    I can relate to the PCOS and the dragging, after trying for two years who knew 40 weeks could be soooo long. I'm also an atypical PCOS and opted to use accupuncture over fertility... It worked! But I'm ready to not be preggers and I'm just over the hal
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  • kathleen02kathleen02 member
    I too am so sorry you had to go through two miscarriages. I can't say I've experienced a m/c but I can tell you that I too really wanted to get pregnant again but have felt pretty horrible most of the time. I'm actually stuck in bed right now because I sl
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  • bleusimpbleusimp member
    I'm pgal and have pcos. It seems the pcos doesn't affect the actual pregnancy, just the getting pregnant part. It took me 33 years to get pregnant the first time. Are you having a girl? Nothing is for sure, but it seems like my friends pregnant with girls
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