Why do men care how I birth?

mlrafiki · March 2013

SO, I get questions about birth from women, especially other mothers. Even if I find it intrusive, I'm a little more forgiving because a mom is coming from a place of experience, even if a unique one. But I am utterly baffled by the interest men seem to have in how I birth. At work, not one of the women I work with has pried into my birth plans, but I've now had three different guys ask pointed questions about whether I will have a planned C/S, epidural, etc. And when I respond (which I now know I shouldn't, really), they all get this smug expression on their faces and make the classic comments: "You have no idea how hard it will be." "You'll be begging for the drugs." "You'll see."

UM, DUDE. You're a GUY. You have zero experience with birthing pain, even if you watched your wife go through it (which only one of these guys have, anyway!). Where do you get off being smug with me?

So, psychoanalyze: why do you think guys have such a fascination/superiority complex with how women birth?

tokenhoser · March 2013

I'd probably just reply with "Wow, your birth must have been really hard. How long were you in labour? Did you hurt your vagina?"

Really, it's the same reason women are a$$holes: because it's all about THEM. Except in this case, it's even weirder

RMama2012 · March 2013

No men asked me but now that I gave birth med free, my DH thinks anyone who doesn't is a wimp. That's actually pretty annoying too!

SweetPeaK26 · March 2013

I say because it scares them. It's something they can't comprehend totally, because they can't and won't ever go through it.

anna7602 · March 2013

tokenhoser:
I'd probably just reply with "Wow, your birth must have been really hard. How long were you in labour? Did you hur

Mrs E in Oregon · March 2013

My hubby's grandpa has been the most opinionated and he wasn't even allowed in L&D in the early 50's so I don't know where his opinions even come from.

Lolita0816 · March 2013

tokenhoser:
I'd probably just reply with "Wow, your birth must have been really hard. How long were you in labour? Did you

KateLouise · March 2013

I haven't had this kind of experience with the men at my work. Although my guess is that they're heard how bad labour can be, and are of the mindset that natural labour can't or shouldn't be done. Or, if they've seen their wife go through it, then they

redheadinlove · March 2013

RMama2012:
No men asked me but now that I gave birth med free, my DH thinks anyone who doesn't is a wimp. That's ac

breathlessbride · March 2013

One of DH's jerkface coworkers was over at our house helping with our plumbing and, no joke, told me that I *HAD* to use an enema as soon as I went into labor. He went on and on and ON with all the gory poopy details even after DH and I both told

Ditalion · March 2013

Not sure about everyone else but my DH acts like he's dying if he has a cold... So of course labor would seem impossible.

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