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Trying to make the decision

dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
in One & Done: Only child
I wanted to pop in and say hi. My husband and I are really struggling with this decision now. I love our son but my pregnancy was awful. My blood pressure went nuts they were bringing me in for what felt like every other week worried about pre eclampysia and then my gall bladder went but due to my high numbers of miscarriages they made me wait for the surgery. I was on bed rest for a long time and it was scary and miserable. I worry though what growing up will be like for my little guy with no siblings. Growing up my mom always reminded me my siblings are who I have when they are gone, am I selfishly depriving my son from more family and support because I dont want to deal with any more miscarriages or the fear of having as miserable pregnancy as the first time? How were you all able to come to peace with the decision to only have one? 
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Re: Trying to make the decision

  • ferris0906ferris0906 member

    First, I am still trying to get off the fence on this decision, but I am very much leaning towards being one and done.

    Second, read the thread below that has input from only child bumpies.  It's mostly full of people who had very positive ex

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  • apansey87apansey87 member
    Have you seen the number of families ripped apart by inheritance disputes? There's no guarantee siblings will help each other through the loss of parents.

    I'm an only child and I'm not scarred for life by my lack of siblings. In fact I'm gra
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  • eyenigheyenigh member

    imageapansey87:
    Have you seen the number of families ripped apart by inheritance disputes? There's no guarantee siblings will help
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  • littlelamb99littlelamb99 member

    I have hypertension so it made pregnancy pretty rough.  A huge reason why we are one and done; I could do it again possibly but I would be monitored and on bed rest, etc...not good for my body and health.

    If we really want more children down

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  • SunidazeSunidaze member

    I absolutely hate it when people try to guilt trip me into having more children because they feel I am cheating my daughter out of having a sibling.  Having siblings does not mean you aren't alone.

    I have three brothers...no relationship wit

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  • Emilia0101Emilia0101
    I love my dd so much and I was always waiting for that moment I felt incomplete like we needed more. At 1 yr I was still in survival mode, so we held off thinking about more until 2. At two it was more financial and by 3 life was getting easier. Now at 3.
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  • blondolphnblondolphn member
    Siblings are no guarantee that they will support each other. I have a twin and she is a real pill. I always say we get along better when we live in different states. My two older brothers are ok, but not everyone helps equally with taking care of Mom. My
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  • salt78salt78 member

    I grew up an only child and I never felt deprived. Frankly I get a little annoyed when people worry about what it will be like for an only child as if there is something wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with it.

    IMO having another child

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  • spendsitwellspendsitwell

    I am also on the fence with this at this point.  I have had 3 consecutive mc's trying to conceive baby #2.  Recently diagnosed with MTHFR.  DD is 3.5 now and I couldn't be happier with her and how she has changed my l

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  • kristenndkristennd member
    I was fine with having a sibling and DH hated being an only child (so we're not just guessing/assuming), but overall within our extended families, with the older generations, there are definitely more sibling conflicts than warm relationships.
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