Working Moms

If you don't "have" to work

I've been a SAHM for the past three years.  I did start working PT when DS1 was 18 months, but only two 7 hour days and then with DS2, I did per-diem when he was 5 months but usually 2-3 days a week for 4-6 hours at a time.  But he was home a sitter and/or DH.  DS2 is now 15 months and he wants to do everything DS1 is doing.  They both seem to need a lot more stimulation than I can provide.  I'm home but seem to be doing lots of housework/errands or just making myself crazy!  DH is "ok" with me going back but prefer I go back PT.  I would love to but there aren't many PT jobs in my field.  Seems most of them are FT.  

If you didn't "have" to work, but do, did you feel guilty about it or what were some of the reasons why you felt it was a good decision for you?  I'm having some mixed emotions.  Thanks for your feedback! 

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Re: If you don't "have" to work

  • I don't 'have' to work. DH makes enough to pay all our bills and a little extra. I never thought I'd be a SAHM, but once baby was here, I couldn't imagine going back to work.  I ended up extended my leave from 12 weeks to 16 to 18 to 20. At that p

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  • If you can find part time I think you would enjoy it as well as LO. It will give you both sometime to socialize with others and the extra money might be nice to have so you can do other things when you aren't working.

    I went back b/c I am not




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  • jshfjshf member
    imagecltk12:
    I don't 'have' to work. DH makes enough to pay all our bills and a little extra. I never thought I'd be a SAHM, but once ba
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  • I work because I want to.  Yes, there are plenty of days that I would rather be home with my kids. Yes, I miss them quite often when I am away.  However, I believe I have a nice balance. I'm home early every day, I work from home 2 days a wee

  • When I had DD(3), I thought I might want to SAH.  My mom SAH with us, and she did pressure me to make the same choice.  I'm a teacher, and I took an extended maternity leave.  DD was 7 months when I returned to work, and, honestly, I though
  • jlaOKjlaOK member

    We could pay bills off of DH's salary but wouldn't live in the lifestyle that I would prefer.  I work PT (4-8 hr days) and worked 3-8 hr days until DS was 2.  We are fortunate that my PT salary is equivalent to many professions FT salari

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  • No guilt at all. I believe me working is the best decision for myself and our family. We love that DS is in a wonderful daycare and he really enjoys his time there. And we feel more comfortable having the extra income. H's income would be sufficient for u
  • I have always had to work, but I think we are getting close to the point where I could SAH if we made some cuts.  Right now we're saving money to buy a bigger house, so it will probably be at least 2 years before I'd consider quitting.  Even

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  • I don't have to work, but I do because I like not stressing about bills, going on vacations, getting the kids stuff, and doing fun things without having to worry about whether we can afford it.  Plus, I need something that is all mine to be sane

    DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015


  • I don't have to work.  DH makes more than enough to cover all of our expenses and then some. 

    Some personal reasons why I work--I didn't bust my butt in college to not use my degree, I have professional licenses that will expire if I

  • No guilt.  L spends his days with his nanny who loves him and takes great care of him.  She is amazing and manages to go to storytime at the library, Gymboree, walks, etc.  When I was on maternity leave I was lucky to get myself together to
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  • I work so that DH and I can live a comfortable lifestyle, free from worry or stress over finances.  We can still travel, we save a significant amount for retirement and LO's college fund every month, and we don't have to budget and really watch wh

  • I suppose I don't "have" to work. We could live on DH's income if I wanted to be a SAHM.  But holy crap I could never be a SAHM.. i think that's a harder job that working FT.

     I love my DS dearly and he is my best bud, but he would driv

    DS 11.24.11
    MMC 3.30.16
  • I work and we could swing it, I just prefer this quality of life for all of us - including the child in day care who benefits from being able to get out and do things, go places, etc. from my income.

    If you are worried about the transition, I v

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  • imageEllaHella:

    No guilt.  No mixed emotions. 

    I want to work.  No one asks a guy if he feels guilty for

    Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

    Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck.  Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.

    This Cluttered Life

  • imageEllaHella:
    imageamy052006:<

    DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015


  • KL777KL777 member

    If I didn't "have" to work, I would love a 24 hour a week job in my field during the academic year (8 hour a week job during the summer)---but to my knowledge, that doesn't exist.

    I was a SAHM before. The first two years were great but that

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  • imagejlaOK:

    We could pay bills off of DH's salary but wouldn't live in the lifestyle that I would prefer.  I work PT (4-8 h

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  • imageTink112011:

    I suppose I don't "have" to work. We could live on DH's income if I wanted to be a SAHM.  But holy crap I could n

    imageimageimage
  • My DH doesn't have to work, I'm the main bread winner. I am pretty sure he doesn't feel guilty. There are times, though, that he doesn't like his job. As a result we have discussed him changing fields to something that would allow him to be home more.



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  • I work pt and don't have to. I really enjoy my job. I love the intellectual challenge. I love that we can afford a housecleaner, vacations, savings, eating out, etc. I love the break from LO, and feel that I am a better mom bc I work. When I am with
    BFP #1: 2/14/11. EDD: 10/20/11. Missed m/c discovered in April at 12 weeks, d&c. BFP #2: 12/27/11. EDD: 9/9/2012.
  • I need to get out of the house sometimes. I also really enjoy my job.
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    m/c 2013
  • jshfjshf member
    Thanks for all your feedback! I feel more at ease making the choice now. Plus I look at DH and the kids are crazy about Him and I dont think he loves them any less than me. I'm sure it will be tough but in the long run better for all.
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  • DH earns enough to pay for our lives.

    I work because I would totally fail at being a full-time SAHM.  I need an agenda.  Work give me that.

    Also, I have this ingrained sense that I always need to be earning a wage.  Comes fro

    promised myself I'd retire when I turned gold, and yet here I am
  • I could probably stay home if I really really really wanted to, but I don't. I wouldn't even want to work part time. I don't feel guilty about working at all. DD is happy in daycare and I absolutely love my job. I think that working makes me a better mom.
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  • imagecltk12:

    I don't 'have' to work. DH makes enough to pay all our bills and a little extra. I never thought I'd be a SAHM, but on


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  • imageEllaHella:
    No one asks a guy if he feels guilty for working and not staying home if his wife makes enough to live off of. 
  • If you feel bad about going FT with your DS2 being so young, what if you wait 6 months or so before doing it?

    I work PT and really don't need to. But I wasn't happy as a full-time SAHM, and I am happier working/getting out of the house. DS2 is 2.

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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