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I resent my daughter...

marwolfermarwolfer
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months

My daughter is almost five months old and is perfect is every way. She sleeps through the night, she is healthy, she laughs and smiles... but I am starting to feel a major resentment. I am only 23, and DD was not planned. My husband works a crazy schedule serving in the Army, and we live FAR away from any family. (We live in Germany and our family lives in Indiana.) Most of our friends work during the day or have their own LO. I feel so ashamed that I feel this way, because DD is so beautiful and wonderful and I love her so much. Yet most days I wish I could just take her to someone's house and drop her off for a few days. I feel so guilty for feeling this way, and I'm already being treated for anxiety and depression. I don't want to tell my husband because he has so much on his plate already but I don't know how much longer I can do this. I can't sleep, I eat all the time, and I just want to hide under my blankets every time I hear her cry.

 

Am I the only one who feels this way? The frustration and guilt are taking over my life. I try to be positive about life, but it usually only makes me feel more guilty because I am so blessed yet I feel so lousy.

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Re: I resent my daughter...

  • Diver10Diver10 member

    You clearly need to seek someone to talk to. If you're already being treated for anxiety and depression, you need a counsellor. Someone to unload on. 

    I also recommend really trying to get out of the house. Go shopping, walk around a store,

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  • NapJunkieNapJunkie member

    When I was in the AF I was stationed in England for 4 years.  4 long, dark, cold, miserable years.  We didn't have kids at the time but being away from friends and family was really hard.  

    Throw a kid into the mix and you have a n

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  • mindymaskemindymaske member

    Post partum depression, you need to talk to your doc, and soon.

    PS, its not your fault...its hormone issue

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  • BrittanyDoesDerbyBrittanyDoesDerby member
    I understand being young and having an unplanned pregnancy (I'm also 23, DD was unplanned, we moved pretty far away from all of our family, so I often feel alone). However, I agree that resentment is something you need to talk to someone about professiona
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  • kross605kross605 member
    imagemindymaske:

    Post partum depression, you need to talk to your doc, and soon.

    PS, its not your fault...its hormone issue

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  • dmhrn13dmhrn13 member
    check out www.scarymommy.com confessions. you are not alone.
    TTC since 1/2008
    BFP 7/2009 m/c
    BFP 9/2009 m/c
    Clomid IUI 12/2010, 1/2011, 2/2011 All BFN
    IVF #1 6/2011 BFN, no frosties
    IVF #2 2/2012 BFP
    DD born 10/2012
    FET 9/3/2013 BFN, no more frosties
    IVF # 3 11/3/13 Canceled after retrieval d/t severe OHSS, 3 frosties
    FET #3 2/2014 BFP Twins!
    B/G Twins born 9/2014 at 36w4d

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  • rjeller32rjeller32 member
    I totally understand what your feeling, DD1 was unplanned at 18, and my whole family lives in Alaska or New Jersey while I am in Idaho. Although I am WAY closer than you are to my family, I still can't afford to go see them, and most of my friends don't u
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  • CSmith8911CSmith8911 member
    It's great that you are reaching out! It's a good first step and a good outlet. So sorry with how you are feeling. Anxiety is awful and the situation your in has to exacerbate it beyond words. I agree with what people are saying, definitely try different
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  • MiahTMiahT member

    I know that stateside the Army has child care programs that your soldier can get paperwork for and they can offer free or low cost child care for a few hours so you can get some "Me" time to do whatever, even just get a few hours sleep, during the day,

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