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June 2013 Moms
skio
member
I need a pass to vent.
skio
member
I'm pretty frustrated with H right now and need to get this off my chest. I will delete this later.
So, we got our tax return back and it was more than we expected. Plan was to pay off the credit card, put a little in savings for medical bills and other things relating to this baby, and a little for each of us to spend. I decided to spend my "share" on maternity clothes. As some of you saw, I made a killing at Target last week. I spent slightly more than I should've on myself, plus a few things for DD's birthday and H. That's the first part. Second part, I've been saying for the past few days that we need to sit down and pay what we want to pay with the tax return and get the rest to savings before we blow through it. He kept saying it was no big deal, there's plenty of money, not worried, blah blah.
Fast forward to today. I had an OB appt at 1pm, including testing my thyroid levels, HB check, and GTT. I went alone, he stayed home with DD. I get home and he's on the computer and seriously cranky. He immediately starts barking demands, wanting to know did I really buy TWO kindle books? What is this PayPal charge [cloth diaper purchase that had already been paid back]? Why did you spend so much at Target?
I stayed calm and told him to drop the 'tude. I knew he was suddenly stressed because he checked our financials and saw that guess what, we had blown through more money than we thought because we hadn't allotted the tax return like we said we would. I reminded him that I told him about the Target stuff last week when I went there, and he was fine with it then. He agreed and dropped that.
The things I'm upset about: Financially, because this is where most of this stems from, I'm pretty upset that he ragged on me about my minor purchases, and this isn't the first time that has happened. Meanwhile, he has his own problem with champagne taste [he is crazy committed to, like, seven different sports and has to have all the best gear for every one of them], he spends 40/week on awesome food in the city while I eat ramen noodles at home, he spends easily a couple hundred dollars a month on 'coffee club' dues and dinners out for work. And I get an attitude for buying maternity clothes with money we agreed was okay for me to spend and for spending 15 bucks on books. I know he is the sole provider right now and that puts a lot of weight on his shoulders, which is why I try to live frugally for myself and DD. But he has to take some blame here. I'm feeling resentful and attacked and I know I need to talk this out before it gets any heavier.
The other thing I'm upset about is that he hasn't even asked how the appointment went. I know he's stressed but I would think he'd at least want to know if I heard the baby's heartbeat or got any bad news. Nada.
So, that's the vent. If anyone has any insight or advice, certainly share. Or just hugs. I'll take 'em.
And I'll most likely end up having a talk with him in like, a half hour, because that's how we roll. We don't fight, we can't stay angry at each other for more than a day. But sometimes, a pregnant girl just needs a good vent to her Internet friends, KWIM?
Thanks for reading this novel if you have succeeded. :]
So, we got our tax return back and it was more than we expected. Plan was to pay off the credit card, put a little in savings for medical bills and other things relating to this baby, and a little for each of us to spend. I decided to spend my "share" on maternity clothes. As some of you saw, I made a killing at Target last week. I spent slightly more than I should've on myself, plus a few things for DD's birthday and H. That's the first part. Second part, I've been saying for the past few days that we need to sit down and pay what we want to pay with the tax return and get the rest to savings before we blow through it. He kept saying it was no big deal, there's plenty of money, not worried, blah blah.
Fast forward to today. I had an OB appt at 1pm, including testing my thyroid levels, HB check, and GTT. I went alone, he stayed home with DD. I get home and he's on the computer and seriously cranky. He immediately starts barking demands, wanting to know did I really buy TWO kindle books? What is this PayPal charge [cloth diaper purchase that had already been paid back]? Why did you spend so much at Target?
I stayed calm and told him to drop the 'tude. I knew he was suddenly stressed because he checked our financials and saw that guess what, we had blown through more money than we thought because we hadn't allotted the tax return like we said we would. I reminded him that I told him about the Target stuff last week when I went there, and he was fine with it then. He agreed and dropped that.
The things I'm upset about: Financially, because this is where most of this stems from, I'm pretty upset that he ragged on me about my minor purchases, and this isn't the first time that has happened. Meanwhile, he has his own problem with champagne taste [he is crazy committed to, like, seven different sports and has to have all the best gear for every one of them], he spends 40/week on awesome food in the city while I eat ramen noodles at home, he spends easily a couple hundred dollars a month on 'coffee club' dues and dinners out for work. And I get an attitude for buying maternity clothes with money we agreed was okay for me to spend and for spending 15 bucks on books. I know he is the sole provider right now and that puts a lot of weight on his shoulders, which is why I try to live frugally for myself and DD. But he has to take some blame here. I'm feeling resentful and attacked and I know I need to talk this out before it gets any heavier.
The other thing I'm upset about is that he hasn't even asked how the appointment went. I know he's stressed but I would think he'd at least want to know if I heard the baby's heartbeat or got any bad news. Nada.
So, that's the vent. If anyone has any insight or advice, certainly share. Or just hugs. I'll take 'em.
And I'll most likely end up having a talk with him in like, a half hour, because that's how we roll. We don't fight, we can't stay angry at each other for more than a day. But sometimes, a pregnant girl just needs a good vent to her Internet friends, KWIM?
Thanks for reading this novel if you have succeeded. :]
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I need a pass to vent.
MC #1- Jamie George 6/7/08, MC #2- Christian Aaron 1/15/09
BFP! 3/25/09 BETA 1 (4/7/09) -# 9659 BETA 2 (4/10/09) - # 19171 Born 12/6/09 - Our precious girl.
MC #3- Ashley Grace 2/15/11, MC #4- Amelia Noel 12/30/11
MC #5- Antonio 9/8/12
BFP! 10/6/12
sending some hugs your way!
My H handles the finances too, and he can be tough on me, but he's also tough on himself, so sadly, I don't have any advice to give. Have the talk like you said you would, and I am sure everything will work out
SURPRISE! BFP: 12/2014 - EDD: 8/13/15
We made plans and God laughed
DS: BFP: 9/30/12 - EDD: 6/9/13
Radley Quinn was fashionably late via induction on 6/17/13
This seriously could have happened between DH and me. We both work, but I pay all the bills so I know where the money has to go each week. DH is the one who spends carelessly and I'm the one who has to be careful and watch our account close
sending you some hugs!
My H also handles all the finances and sometimes it certainly is stressful. I know once you talk about it, you guy will figure it out!! Until then lots of hugs. <
First of all, ((hugs)). I can definitely understand where you'd be frustrated.
I hate arguing about money, it's seriously the worst. I used to get soooo mad at my SO for all the money he blew every month on crap like beer, bullets, junk food,
DS#1 3-28-02 ~ DD 6-15-09 ~ DS#2 5-31-13
I really think you need to sit down and go through the financials with your H. Just from reading through your post I think it's unfair that he is spending more money in unnecessary places during the month (lunches and dinners out,
M/C 7/8/12
Perfect baby boy born 7/8/13
BFP 8/20/14 EDD 4/27/15 It's a GIRL!!
We really have to get back on a good budget. When I was working, I was so stringent about keeping a proper budget, which included bills and spending money for each of us
I can see why you are angry, I would feel the same way. This is why I keep my finances separate, and why I will not stop working. I love my husband, but I have seen too many wives treated this way and when my father left my mother, a stay at home mom w
My two girls Flower and Ayla Faye
DH and I tend to fall into the same problems it sounds like you have. We have great intentions, but the money gets nickled and dimed to death a lot of the time. Now we try and keep track of LITERALLY every.single.purchase. we make. This way, we can rea
money sucks.
i feel you on the needed vent. DH and I both quit our well paying jobs (which over worked us like crazy and we hated) in CA to move back to my home town to raise kids and just because we thought we would be happier here (which we are
Sounds frustrating. Also sounds familiar! My DH gets worked up in a similar way. He'll be angry about a situation and like a tornado sucks in all the small things that one situation affected turning what could be a short spat into an
Ha, thanks for asking. It was fine, baby is head down and active