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stupid question

marie2424marie2424
in Blended Families

I want to take my sd to get her hair cut. Should I text bm and ask if this is ok with her? I want to have it cut and maybe a new little hairstyle for her.

I'm always very careful about overstepping my boundaries. Maybe even too careful. I don't have any kids but if I did I would want to take my daughter to get her hair cut, I think anyways. Its just little things like this, i'm not sure the right answer.

we have the kids 2 days a week and every other weekend.

 

Told you! stupid question!

 

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Re: stupid question

  • cole2144cole2144 member
    Definitely ask first.
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  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    Yes. Ask first. I would be pissed if someone cut my kids hair without asking me first.
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  • new+tothisnew+tothis member
    I think it depends on the age of the kid. I vote for asking first - and I don't think it's a stupid question. BD has tried to cut DS hair a few times... it was clearly DIY. I eventually asked him not to because he did it several times and it just looked t
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  • bratty44bratty44
    We took SS for his first real hair cut last summer, as BM kept giving him mohawks that looked horrible. He loved his new do. I will be taking SD for her first real hair cut next month on her birthday. We never let/asked BM. Haircuts are not a major thing.
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  • kali55kali55 member

    Not at all a stupid question

    I would ask first.  It shows that you are thinking about her and her wishes and not wanting to overstep your boundaries.  I know if I were in the position of BM I would appreciate the heads up



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  • HisChamaoleGirlHisChamaoleGirl member
    imagekali55:

    Not at all a stupid question

    I would ask first.  It shows that you are thinking about her and her wishes

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  • IfMamaAintHappyIfMamaAintHappy member
    This SM says definitely ask BM first. Actually I wouldn't even dare touch the subject and would drop it. I already know for a fact that BM would have a holy cow if I asked or took SKs for a haircut. DH is another story. DH does the heavy lifting in caregi

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  • pjmommy04pjmommy04 member
    imageSimpleJane:
    Yes. Ask first. I would be pissed if someone cut my kids hair without asking me first.


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  • twister22twister22 member

    imagebratty44:
    We took SS for his first real hair cut last summer, as BM kept giving him mohawks that looked horrible. He loved his
    image
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  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member
    I think it depends on the age of the kids. When DD was much younger (4 for example) I had her hair super long with no bangs and I would have probably flipped if someone took her to get a haircut. At 13, I could care less. I would side-eye BM if she said a
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  • KatieandMark06KatieandMark06 member
    I would definitely ask, DDs dad (EX H) and his wife cut DDs hair without asking me and I was furious, I love her hair long. 
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  • Sunday924Sunday924 member

    I wouldn't/don't ask. I just took my SS today because we have pictures tomorrow. 

    My DH doesn't need permission to cut his son's hair as BM doesn't need his. 

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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    imagebratty44:
    We took SS for his first real hair cut last summer, as BM kept giving him mohawks that looked horrible. He loved his new
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  • MindlessGamesMindlessGames

    Ask first, it's respectful.

    What kind of relationship do you have with the BM?

    How old is the kid? 

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  • bratty44bratty44
    imageSunday924:

    I wouldn't/don't ask. I just took my SS today because we have pictures tomorrow. 

    My DH doesn't need per

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  • socloudy99socloudy99 member

    I would ask first. It is the right thing to do.

    Once you have the conversation you may not have to talk about it again. We had the conversation and the BMs don't want DH to get the girls hair cut but he can get SSs hair cut as needed without a

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  • Mrs.H.Mrs.H.
    I have a very good relationship with my SS's BM but I would NEVER EVER do smething like that without asking her first. 
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  • NineoceansNineoceans member
    We don't ask and it's not a big to do. I will usually give Bm a couple months of growth and if she still doesn't do anything we take him and have it cut however he wants it. I'd prefer her do it but I'm not going to let SS walk around looking scraggly <br
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  • IlumineIlumine member
    imagebratty44:
    imageSunday924:</
    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
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  • IlumineIlumine member
    imagemarie2424:

    I want to take my sd to get her hair cut. Should I text bm and ask if this is ok with her? I want to have it cut an

    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
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  • nattyncbridenattyncbride member
    imagemarie2424:

    we have the kids 2 days a week and every other weekend.

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  • cole2144cole2144 member
    imagenattyncbride:
    imagemarie242
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  • WWMSWWMS

    I am the BM and I had my son's hair cut one summer and his father threw a fit because he didn't like how it was done. I am the primary parent so I think I should get the final decision on how it is done. Once DS is older than he can ask whomever he wan

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  • cautionwillburneyescautionwillburneyes member

    I have two pre-teen/teenage boys and they can pretty much tell the hair stylist what they want done to their head.  Pretty typical short boys cuts.  I would not have a problem with an involved X taking them in to get their hair cut.

    How

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  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member

    SDs mom cut off over 6 inches of hair several years ago without asking or telling DH.  He was furious.

    In situations like this I try to ask myself what I would want if the situation was reversed.

    BM hasn't cut SDs hair since then.&

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  • fellesferiefellesferie member

    I'm just speaking for myself, but I would not bat an eye of my child came home with a trim/cut. In fact, I'd probably say thanks. I'm pretty bad about letting DS's hair get a little shaggy.

    But if he came home with a shaved head or a mohawk and n

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  • kali55kali55 member

    I don't think it's a custody issue.  We share 50/50 with BM and when we weren't on good terms we took SD for a haircut because SD asked for one and BM flipped out.  She got angry and told us she hated it.  Ultimately, who suffered? 



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  • bratty44bratty44
    Just to clarify, my SKs are 7 and 5. When I said first real hair cut, I meant at a salon. Until now their mother has been cutting it, and no she's not a hair dresser. When DH took SS for his first salon cut to get rid of the horrid mohawk she gave him, SS
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  • dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member
    imagetwister22:

    imagebratty44
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    imageSunday924:

    My DH doesn't need permission to cut his son's hair as BM doesn't need his. 

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  • marie2424marie2424

    My step daughter is about to be 8. How often do you cut your dd/sd hair? Bm has had sd hair cut once in the last three years. If bm is ok with it this time im just going to keep taking sd to get her hair cut. Its getting pretty unruly.

    Im no

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