DD - not letting DH help — The Bump
Pre-School

DD - not letting DH help

I thought this was a phase, but it's not getting better or going away.  DH and I are very good about sharing duties around that house, and that includes DD.  But, most of the time, when he tries to do something for her, she says very sternly that she wants mommy to do it.  She's great with him when it's just the 2 of them, but when DH and I are both home, she wants me to do everything for her!  Now, I could see why she'd continue to do this if I did things for her when she asked, but I don't give in when she does this.

Example - DH always gets her ready in the morning, but I am around for about 20 minutes before I leave for work, so we were both home at this point.  She was done with breakfast and needed to get down from the table (we have a high table so she needs help).  DH went to help her, and she didn't want DH to do it, she wanted me to do it.  I didn't do it.  I popped my head out of the bathroom as I was getting ready for work, and, as I've said many times to her, said "please let daddy help you, mommy's getting ready for work".  She threw a fit at this because she wanted me to help her, not daddy.  Finally after 5 minutes she let DH get her down.  Then it was time to get her dressed...same thing, DH tries to get her dressed, she wants me to do it.  Again, I don't, I tell her I'd like daddy's help, as I'm getting ready to leave for work.

The other day we got home and it was about who helped unbutton her coat.  Or get her buckled into her car seat.  Or tie her shoes.  Or help wash her hair during a bath, brush her teeth, etc....you get the point.

What I don't understand is, when she does this, she's not getting her way.  DH and I have talked about it, and when she does this when he's trying to help, we make it a point to end it with him helping.  I don't get it, and it's getting old.  I don't know what to do!  Advice???

Re: DD - not letting DH help

  • Does he do things differently than you that she would prefer your way to his way, not just you to him? How long has this been going on?

    I definitely think you're doing the right thing by not giving her what she wants with this, but I'm sure it's

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  • I don't have advice, but DD(3) does the same thing.  I've noticed a lot of the times it has to do with how tired she is, but she's more stubborn/crabby/less likely to compromise in general when she's tired.  We handle it the same as you - DD wan
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  • imagechristinak22:

    Does he do things differently than you that she would prefer your way to his way, not just you to him? How lo

  • imagehoneybee111:
    I don't have advice, but DD(3) does the same thing.  I've noticed a lot of the times it has to do with how t
  • This is totally normal -- albeit frustrating -- preschool behavior.  My kids have both gone through "Mommy only" phases.  Most of my friends' kids have gone through the same thing.

    I agree that taking a low

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • imageneverblushed:

    This is totally normal -- albeit frustrating -- preschool behavior.  My kids have both gone through "Mom

  • rsd12rsd12 member
    My youngest son is like this, but I am home with him. If I am home daddy can not help at all. But I know for us, it has a lot to do with me being home with him all the time. I know he will get better with age. Ha, at least I hope so! For me it is not wort
    Boy 1 2/06 - Boy 2 12/07 - Boy 3 9/09
  • OH YES.  Normal.  I am glad they are vested in their surroundings and able to communicate, even if it is annoying and inconvenient.  I focused alot more on correcting them for the bratty demanding voices or rfusals to comply.  So if Da
    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

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