How do you get rid of a lovey?

MamaSquishyB · March 2013

DS (3.5 yo) has had a special blanket since the day he was born. He LOVES that thing and calls "her" "Nicey", talking about her, playing pretend with her, etc. I wouldn't mind so much, because he is only allowed to use it at naptime and bedtime, but when he does use it, he stuffs it in his mouth and sucks on it. Germ concerns aside, I'm afraid it's going to mess up the alignment of his teeth. DH and I both agree he's getting too old for it. So we just moved, and have been telling him for weeks that when we moved, he would get a big boy bed (twin size vs. toddler bed), new bedding, and a stuffed Batman toy, and that Nicey had to go away. He picked out all his own bedding and the Batman and was super excited about them. But when it came to bedtime on the first night, he cried for a while, then fell asleep. The second night, he cried and CRIED and really mourned for that blanket, until we finally gave in and let him have it back.

So how do we get rid of it without breaking his heart?

Torani · March 2013

Is it possible to put it somewhere, like a shelf, so that you can tell him Nicey is watching over him? We haven't tried getting rid of the lovey yet, but this works with his other stuffed animals (like Batman) that he does not need to sleep with. Batman often watches him from the top bunk bed.

Brewtowngrl · March 2013

Tell him he need to keep it out of his mouth or it has to go away. I wouldn't push it because he will just find something else like his thumb and you can't take that away. He is putting it his mouth to sooth himself. Rewards after nap and in the morning for a dry nicey.

Ljojo · March 2013

I'm not ever going to get rid of my kids' loveys. I still have mine! I know that's probably weird, but I don't have a problem if it's something that will stay in their beds.

rsd12 · March 2013

My 7 yr old still has his baby blanket in his bed. While it does not leave his room and he does not need it for overnights when we travel, it is still something that gives him comfort.

My youngest 3.5 is the only one that carries and uses his blanket all the time. He does not leave the house with it. But it is absolutely his comfort item. And the 2nd thing he goes to if he is sad... fortunatley I am the first!

Ha, and my middle son 5, still keeps his blanket in bed with him. Sometimes he brings it downstairs.

I would be concerned about the sucking on the blanket though. But I bet he would start using something else. I would talk to his pediatrician. Also, we wash the blankets a lot!

jenn_darrin1515 · March 2013

My DD has a little stuffed bunny (actually we have 4 in rotation)...she sucks on the ears and it is oh so gross...I have talked to her pedi about it and her dentist who we just saw in Jan - neither of them saw a reason at this time to take it away (as far as developmentally and her teeth alignment)....

honestly, I am not concerned. just recently she has started to tell me that she isn't going to chew on bunny's ears any more...so I think she is starting to wean herself (so to speak)...

I don't think taking away a comfort item after a move is the best idea at all...maybe give it a month, talk it up, and give his special lovey a place to watch over hime (I like that idea) if you are set on taking it away...

Angela814 · March 2013

Brewtowngrl:
Tell him he need to keep it out of his mouth or it has to go away. I wouldn't push it because he will just find something else like his thumb and you can't take that away. He is putting it his mouth to sooth himself. Rewards after nap and in the morning for a dry nicey.

This. I'd keep emphasizing that he needs to keep it out of his mouth and try rewards for following through.

My almost 7 yo still has her blankie, and she would be crushed if we tried to take it away.

KathrynMD · March 2013

I would work on getting him to stop sucking on it, not necessarily taking it away. there's nothing wrong w/ having a lovey and long as it isn't causing any issues.

jlw2505 · March 2013

You don't get rid of a lovey - end of conversation. Sucky on a blanket won't ruin his teeth and it is his comfort item and helps him sleep and be calm. Kids give them up on their own when they are ready. My younger DD (5 on Wed) has slept with a small blankie since she was around 9 months. It used to go everywhere with her. At some point, I can't remember age now, she started to bring it out of room but then leave it in random places so we made the rule that if it left her room, she had to set it in 1 of a few places so we knew were to find it. She then, within the last year, started just leaving it on her bed 99% of the time. At this point, she sleeps with it (still snuggles it and rubs it) but that is it. She has done this 100% on her own and its not causing any harm. It comforts and calms and is not a bad thing,

NicoleWI · March 2013

Just let him have it. He will grow out of it. My beloved blankie disappeared one day when I was probably 5ish and I think my parents just threw it away. It still bothers me deeply to this day. It was really traumatic as you can tell from the fact that it still bothers me. It was like an unresolved loss b/c I never knew what happened and it was so sudden for me. I have no idea what they were thinking. I remember the panic when I couldn't find it and I really mourned the loss of my blankie. It was almost like the death of a person to me at that age--probably worse than it would have been to lose some more distant people in my life. My parents were good parents but this was a serious lapse in judgment. Also, I don't know why they didn't at least keep it somewhere to give back to me years later. I would still have liked to have a scrap of my old blankie, just to have it, and I could show it to my kids.

Anyway, for God's sake, whatever you do, don't just take it away and get rid of it.

Mama-Bear · March 2013

I think he'll give it up when he's ready. DS1 is 5.5 and just gave up his "bunny" about 9m ago. He knows where Bunny is and he can have him if he wants, but normally he's "out of sight out of mind". We put Bunny away when DS1 wasn't sleeping with/carrying him around and he would sit in one spot on the floor for days. I'm not one for taking things like that away, what the point IMO, they're already going to grow up so fast, and their lovie is something they can always count on and is always there for them if they need it (as opposed to if he gets in trouble by me).

k8elee03 · March 2013

I can't think of a single valid reason I would even consider taking away her blanket. It comforts her, she loves it, and it's utterly harmless.

youaremysunshine79 · March 2013

I would never ever take my child's lovey away. Seriously you are worried about his teeth? Talk to a dentist, I highly doubt he is doing damage! (My DS had his paci till he was 3 and his teeth are perfect!) My DS brings his bear everywhere! To school, the store, restaurants...I don't even want to think of the germs on it, but he's 3 and it makes him happy and it's his security item. Hell my sister is in her 20's and still has her baby blanket!

As a parent you need to pick your battles and this is not one to mess with!

How do you get rid of a lovey?

Re: How do you get rid of a lovey?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards