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Infertile sister

Italianls22Italianls22 member
in 1st Trimester
My sister is 4yrs older than me and has suffered from multiple uterine issues such as cysts and endometriosis. She got pregnant at the beginning of the year, which we didn't even think was possible! But the Drs required a forced abortion within 2 weeks due to a tubal pregnancy. About 2 months later, here I am, 5weeks pregnant. My sister and I have a rough relationship and I'm nervous to tell her because it may bring up some jealousy, or sad feelings for her. I know she will be happy for me too though. Any suggestions on how to tell her or things I should consider? I have never had a m/c
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Re: Infertile sister

  • JimiKirkmanJimiKirkman member

    When she is told, it needs to be from you, and it needs to be in private, preferably in person, unless she lives too far away. Her DH won't say the right things, no matter how hard he tries, as no DH is. Don't drag it out and make a huge production of

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  • Italianls22Italianls22 member
    Yes, you said some really important things I needed to hear! Thank you for taking the time to give me advice on this!!
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    Email.

    Let her feel what she needs to feel. That way she doesn't have to try to hide or push away difficult, painful emotions right in front of you. Give her time and space.


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  • kaswansonkaswanson member
    I have a similar situation with a cousin, who I'm really close with.  They aren't TTC, but have been pursuing adoption for a few years now and are discouraged.  :( I am really nervous to tell her, but she lives far away, so I can't tell her in p
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  • AH20AH20
    My sister is 10 years older than me and she has endometriosis, she has 1 son who is 10 and has been trying to get pregnant for a very long time, she has had two pregnancies that ended in m/c (see in my family our lucky numbers are 2, my sister was born in
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  • smilormariesmilormarie member
    Email.
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    12 weeks 3 days


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    Me: 33, hypothyroidism since 14, cleared all HSG, US, Pre-pregnancy panel tests.
    Hubby: 36, testicular Ca, chemo April-May 2012.
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  • jrosado983jrosado983

    I was in a similar position. Although my sister has 2 beautiful children, she suffered from an ectopic pregnancy after her 2nd child and had to have a falopeon tube removed, then she got pregnant months after and carried the baby to 5 months and an ult

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  • Lissa832Lissa832 member
    As someone who has been through multiple losses and infertility, email her. Tell her that you are not trying to be impersonal, but you want to be respectful to her feelings. She needs to be free to have her first reactions privately. They probably won't b
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  • ufsandra85ufsandra85 member
    i dont like when people tell me in person. i rather it be by e mail or text. it is just to hard because my first reaction is to cry. itis nice of you to be sensitive to her feelings :)

    Married 11/27/09 and TTC right away
    Dx: Complete septate uterus with cervical duplication, endometrial polyps, PCOS, endometriosis, hypo thyroid, luteal phase defect
    4 uterus surgeries to correct my complete septum and to remove polyps and 2 years of seeing the RE, medicated cycles and IUIs
    Baby 1 and 2: BFP 3/3/11 with 2 babies EDD 11/1/11, M/C 4/6/11
    Baby #3: 8/11 pregnant EDD 4/27/11 and m/c:(
    Baby #4: 10/12/11 BFP! EDD 6/16/12m/c 10/26/11
    Baby #5: 3/13/12 BFP! EDD 11/25/12 ANOTHER m/c :(

    Baby #6: 2/14/13- BFP! EDD 10/24/13, CP 2/19/13
    Baby #7: 3/15/13- BFP! EDD 11/27/13, another CP
    Baby #8.  BFP 5/19/13 EDD 1/22/14. 8 was not our lucky number

    4th septum resection on 5/31/13.
    Baby #9: 6/29/13 BFP. C section scheduled for March 5th!

    My miracle baby was born March 5 at 9:33am. He was 8 lbs 12.5 oz and 21.25 inches long!

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  • melgeorge7189melgeorge7189 member

    Just wanted to reiterate that in person is a bad idea! You can explain your reasoning for the email in the email or later if you think it will be perceived as insensitive.

    She will need time to process her feelings and that won't happen if she i

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  • deltagirl79deltagirl79 member

    I agree with pp's on the email. That way she can have time and space to absorb and process the news and get to the point where she is excited for you before you two talk.

    A very close friend (J) tried for two years before doing IVF and she

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  • DebateThisDebateThis member
    imagedeltagirl79:

    I agree with pp's on the email. That way she can have time and space to absorb and process the news and get to th

    Six years of infertility and loss, four IUIs, one IVF and one very awesome little boy born via med-free birth 10.24.13.
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  • Mrs. MoMrs. Mo member
    Whatever you do , do NOT do it in person or even on the phone. She needs to be allowed to let out whatever emotions she is having without fear of hurting your feelings. Also, after that email, do not constantly talk about your pregnancy to her. Let her be


    "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
    "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
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  • erbearerbear member

    Email. let her react how she wants before she has to pretend to be SO EXCITED for you. 

    Also, don't refer to her "forced abortion" that her "doctors made her have". That termination saved her life. 

    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
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  • maryw5516maryw5516 member

    I have a similar situation.  My BF had a miscarriage last year and has not been able to convceive. My DD would be about 6 weeks older than her child, and we were excited about being pregnant together.  2 weeks ago, my DH and I

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