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Would you bother?

vcabbywvcabbyw member
in Natural Birth

This post is kind of in relation to the "Negative Feedback" thread below. We have decided to let our MIL be present at our birth, at a freestanding birth center. She is generally a sweet, loving, and supportive person. Her other grand babies were born at a hospital. We try super hard to keep her involved, we let her come to our ultrasounds and we brought her to one of our prenatal appt's to meet our team. 

However, 3-4 times she has brought up her concern with why the babies heart rate fluctuates between appointments, and asked if there will be something better then Doppler to check on her while in labor. She means no harm. I've told her its all within normal limits, and that intermittent checks with doppler has the same outcomes as using EFM. I also told her I would be refusing continuous EFM if I were to have a typical hospital birth. She doesn't seem convinced. She is scared that we wouldn't know if the cord slipped around its neck, or somehow compromise the babies health by those scary "5 second life or death emergencies".

I don't blame her for being worried, this concept is new to her. Would it be beneficial to us to share with her some studies of this? And show her normal heart rate limits, and fluctuations? I'm concerned that this will make her stressed during our birth. Thoughts?

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Re: Would you bother?

  • tokenhosertokenhoser member

    I'm sort of a "less is more" person when it comes to who gets to be in the room... so I'm not inviting my mom, MIL, sister, etc. If you've already invited her, I think I'd have DH on "kick her out" duty if she is a stressful or negative influence.

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  • Amanda&EricBAmanda&EricB member
    Do you think she would listen to and trust the midwife? Maybe bringing her to yet another appointment, and letting her voice her concerns. I don't see anything wrong with that, as long as you are comfortable with it.
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  • maelli3maelli3
    IMHO, if she's worried about this, she'll be worried about something else, too. Providing evidence for this one thing may clear up this one concern but you may need to really consider if she's OK with the whole idea of a birth center birth. If you think h
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  • vcabbywvcabbyw member

    imagemaelli3:
    IMHO, if she's worried about this, she'll be worried about something else, too. Providing evidence for this one thing
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  • CelynCelyn member
    Is it important to you that she be there?
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  • hollandmamahollandmama member

    I personally wouldn't invite anyone who is against of my birth plan to the delivery room... including husband or mom, let alone MIL... You'll need only support and calm during those hours of your life and they are so important that you cannot afford de

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  • irishsweetheart83irishsweetheart83
    imageredaero:

    I don't think there ARE any "5 second life or death emergencies." Honestly, even the scariest OB emergency crap I can

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  • aylafsu88aylafsu88 member

    imagemaelli3:
    IMHO, if she's worried about this, she'll be worried about something else, too. Providing evidence for this one thing
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  • nosoup4unosoup4u member
    imageredaero:

    If you continue to get a stressy vibe from her, I hate to say it, but you may want to reconsider her being present at

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  • sschwegesschwege member
    I could have written this post myself 3 years ago with my first.  The only difference was that I was in a hospital, but being seen by MWs, which my MIL just really did not get.  At any rate, I finally asked DH to say something to his mother alon
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  • pinksweetpea2pinksweetpea2 member

    imagesschwege:
    I could have written this post myself 3 years ago with my first.  The only difference was that I was in a hospi

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  • Runaway22Runaway22 member
    imageredaero:

    I don't think there ARE any "5 second life or death emergencies." Honestly, even the scariest OB emergency crap I

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  • BadgerBaby01BadgerBaby01
    Have you written a birth plan yet? If I were you, I would write a solid draft of my birth plan and give a copy to my Mother-in-law. I would tell her that DH and I have planned and discussed thoroughly the kind of birth we'd like to have, and our medical t
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