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June 2013 Moms
MdWestMom
member
Seeking Advice: My Shower & My Spoiled Sister
MdWestMom
member
My baby shower is a month away (April 28), and H's amazing aunt K is handling all of the details/coordinating everyone. Aunt K wants to be sure all of the sisters (mine and H's) are included/have a role. Thing is, my little sister and I don't get along (never have), and I don't see things going any better after LO is here. Our lives are completely separate aside from family events. Basically, my question is - What should I do? Just put up with little sister at my shower? Tell aunt K I don't want to include her on my special day? I don't think she wants to be a part of it either, but our families are pretty big on "family togetherness" at life-events, so we both see it as an obligation.
For more background/TMI about my sister, please see paragraph below (or skip it. I'm not offended if you don't want to read my long rant about my sister). I just needed to get it out, and it might help you understand where I'm coming from....
My sister and I are polar opposites in every way. In my opinion, she's spoiled (lazy), immature, and selfish. I know, strong feelings. She still lives at home (pays no rent what-so-ever and is on her SECOND new car courtesy of Mom & Dad), got her first job at 27 years old (seriously), has had Mom & Dad pay for over 5 different colleges (never finished a single degree), spends all her free cash on herself (parties and concerts), and has never, not once, throughout this entire pregnancy asked about the baby. I include her in all mass text updates (about ultra-sounds, nursery plans, shower details, etc). At family events, if discussion turns to my pregnancy/LO, she either leaves or changes the topic. When we announced our pregnancy at Thanksgiving (first grand-baby of the family), she just said "Anyway, now that we heard that news, let's talk about Christmas (meaning, we should listen to what she wanted for Christmas)" She has a history of dress-code violation at any event...some fun examples: When our great aunt C passed away, she wore a Metallica t-shirt with a death-metal skull cap, black jeans with chains, and a Harley jacket - to a formal mass! She once wore stripper sandals with a skimpy top to an extremely posh wedding reception, and a "die Hello Kitty" ensemble to a baby shower. I guess I should have added that if I do include her, it's probably impossible for me to even ask her to wear something "appropriate" because she doesn't own such clothes.
If you are tempted to say her behavior is because she wants a child, don't. She's made it clear over and over that she doesn't like little kids and has no intention of ever getting married or having a child. If you're thinking my parents should have put their foot down a long time ago, you're 100% right, but it's out of my control. She's "the baby" of the family. I had a job at 14, paid for a good chunk of my college, finished early, and went straight to a corporate career. H is a Psychologist and his general policy is not to analyze my family, but this morning he did say that she is probably insanely jealous that she won't be "the baby" of the family any more (first grandchild is in my tummy) and that might cause more issues than usual...ugh....I've spent too much time thinking about this already! All I want is a peaceful pregnancy & a nice shower...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Seeking Advice: My Shower & My Spoiled Sister
KHadden26 - Thanks for your input! I know EXACTLY where you are coming from. I'm thinking to make same decision (to not invite little sis), but my Mom will probably have a fit about that. I'm a no-drama person, and I'm afraid that either way (invited /
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We all have an embarrassing/annoying relative, yours just happens to be your sister. I get that you guys aren't BFFs but it would be really childish not to invite her to your shower. It's not like she's an ax murderer or something.
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I think you should invite her. I can under stand why she bugs you but you will have to get over it, it doesn't sound like she is hurting you, just annoying you. She is obviously mentally ill, but she is still your sister. It honestly sounds like
Update: Thanks June ladies, for all of your wisdom! I've decided to request that Aunt K not include Little Sister (LS) in the planning/participating part, but I probably do have to invite her as a regular guest (still not firmly decided on this, might
MC #1- Jamie George 6/7/08, MC #2- Christian Aaron 1/15/09
BFP! 3/25/09 BETA 1 (4/7/09) -# 9659 BETA 2 (4/10/09) - # 19171 Born 12/6/09 - Our precious girl.
MC #3- Ashley Grace 2/15/11, MC #4- Amelia Noel 12/30/11
MC #5- Antonio 9/8/12
BFP! 10/6/12
Just because you're sisters doesn't mean you have to like her OR invite her. I have a sister that makes everything about her as well but luckily she lives 2,500 miles away so I don't have to worry about her showing up to anything.
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