Lots on negative feedback!

WanderingA · March 2013

We are planning our birth at an independent birth center that is run by midwives. I made the choice because I am not comfortable in a hospital setting and I don't think that birth is something that you need to be hospitalized for anyway. I try to keep my plans to myself but several times people have asked about where we plan to deliver and when I tell them that we're going with the birth center about 80% of the reactions have been "Just you wait and see..." or "You are insane for thinking you can do this without drugs, you're going to regret it."

I understand that everyone's birth experience is different but I would never say anything along those lines to a woman who told me her birth plan. The problem is that now I'm starting to internalize it and am beginning to be afraid that I'm going to be begging for a hospital transfer when the time comes.

How do you deal with unsolicited negative reactions from people when they learn your plans for birth?

amatistajoy · March 2013

I did the hypnobabies home study course... Part of it was creating a happy place where those things just don't effect you. It was helpful... So we're the joyful pregnancy affirmations.

sschwege · March 2013

I did Hypnobirthing and found their affirmations to be really inspirational and listened to them often, particularly when I would feel nervous. I also really like "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth", it's full of the most beautiful birth stories that

tokenhoser · March 2013

Well, if you want to, you can pull the good ol' "What makes you say that?" and smile and let them tell you how THEY couldn't handle birth. Not the most inspiring road, but it lets people do what they want (talk about themself).

Or you can say "t

rm2013 · March 2013

If the negative reactions from the general public, social acquaintances, etc are bothering you, just tell a fib and say its whatever popular hospital most people in your town go to. Most people just seem to ask that standard question to make chit chat and

vcabbyw · March 2013

We are using an OOH birth center but luckily we live in a very liberal area. Most hospitals have a "birth center" name attached to their labor & delivery. But for those who know we are using an OOH center and have opinions, I remind myself that the

Celyn · March 2013

It really depends on my mood how I respond to comments like that, but I'm really starting to think that the appropriate response is to tell someone they are being extraordinarily rude, inappropriate and it's none of their damn business how anyone chooses

saintpaulJess · March 2013

I say, "Based on my my research, this is what I think is best for me and my baby." And then I firmly change the subject.

Hypnobirthing helps a lot with negative thoughts and ideas. My husband and I finished this course and are looking

babyalex124 · March 2013

sschwege:
I did Hypnobirthing and found their affirmations to be really inspirational and listened to them often, particularly

wouldntitbenice · March 2013

All natural birth is an A+ plan and if you don't shoot for it you'll never achieve it.

I think women say discouraging things because they're looking to justify their own experiences -- no one wants to think they did it wrong, right?

So, wh

SidraJedi · March 2013

First of all, you might fantasize about how awesome pain meds would be while you labor, but you will not regret your birth of choice.

If there are any medical issues with laboring you will be able to transfer to hospital.

And to answer your

tantdylf · March 2013

wouldntitbenice:
All natural birth is an A plan and if you don't shoot for it you'll never achieve it.I think women say discouragin

M0ON · March 2013

I've gotten so tired of people telling me that I "wont be able to handle the pain" that Ive just started lying and saying I'm totally getting an epidural. Whatever.

JCWhitey · March 2013

I have been very, very lucky. I am surrounded by awesome women who are supportive of nature birth and many of my friends have done it themselves. Also the friends who have had epis during their births will say things like "I wish I was brave e

provwife · March 2013

I am planning for an all natural birth as well and would LOVE to be at a birthing center but there isn't one by me..but my thoughts on peoples negative reactions are that, 1, it's annoying and 2, I feel bad that they either have or plan to rely on drugs f

pinkpinot · March 2013

ME TOO! I am planning a home birth and have successfully kept it between me and my husband. As soon as I announced I was pregnant I've been slammed with everyone's negative birth experience and I just smile and nod...and say I'm delivering at