having a really hard time(long and venty)
caseylynw
member
Before LO was born a friend of my husbands was living with us. He moved out the day DS was born but still hasn't really left. Every week I beg my husband for one weekend when this friend does not come over and every week he promises it will be this weekend. Our anniversary is Sunday. I was told that this would be our weekend and yet again I'm disappointed. Once again his promise is broken. I feel completely defeated.
When the two of them get together I'm completely ignored, DS is completely ignored, I have to hide in his room when I feed him (breastfeeding) because this friend is uncomfortable seeing my boobs and DH supports HIM instead of me. They don't pick up after themselves when their together. There are constantly dishes left around the living room full of half eaten food. If I complain or ask for help with DS all I get is an eye roll and told "in a minute" which never comes.
If we make plans to do something as a family, DH takes it upon himself to invite his friend along without even telling me. I don't remember the last time we have done anything without him. When I tell DH that I'm upset about this he always promises that next time it will be just us, next weekend he wont come over but he never holds up to these promises and when I point it out he just says the same thing, next time.
I'm so unhappy. I don't know what else I can do or say to make him see this. I half expect that he's going to be invited along when we go out for dinner on our anniversary, my first time out without or son. I'm not even looking forward to it because I know it will be ruined. If it wasn't for this person then I would be happy and not so worn out all the time. I love my husband, I really do, but he makes me feel unimportant and like my wants and needs are silly and worthless.
Thank you to anyone who stuck around to read this. I just needed to get it out and I know someone here will hear me.
Re: having a really hard time(long and venty)
Hugs, that sounds like a very annoying and uncomfortable position to be in. You and your H should sit down and he really needs to listen to what you are saying. Try not to be defensive or be mean, just let him know you feel you need time as a family an
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**Missing our February '12 LoveBug**
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I think maybe you need to tell the friend that you need a weekend as a family. Surely you must know him well enough to say something. He was squatting at your house for a long time after all. And sorry but the "in a minute" crap that never comes...
As for hiding in your room to feed the baby, your house, your rules. If boobs make the friend uncomfortable, then he can leave.
My
"It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." - Eleanor Roosevelt
I'm sorry mama, that sounds awful! I can't imagine myself in that situation though bc I would've put my foot down long ago. Me leave the room when I'm feeding my baby in my own house?! Eff that. Whip out your boob, make him deal with it or make h
"It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." - Eleanor Roosevelt