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Serving up a side of Mommy guilt...help!

jeffnstefjeffnstef member
in Stay at Home Moms

Any advice or encouragement to help me stop feeling this way would be helpful...

 My LO is 9 1/2 months old and seems to be developing beautifully. Her doc has never had any concerns or anything about that. She also seems smart (her new "tricks" include looking at the microwave when I put a bottle in and getting excited when it dings and looking at the TV when she sees someone pick up a remote). 

My DH is a big reader and has been forever. He has read all these books that stated a baby needs tons and tons of playtime with you. Somewhere he came up with the figure of 3 hours. Also, he makes a huge deal if he finds out I left her on the floor with toys and PBS on while I do a few quick chores  Since I stay home, the pressure is on me to give as much one on one playtime as I can. I do the best I can, but staying home also means laundry, cleaning, cooking, paying bills..you know how it is. The list goes on and on. I end up feeling extremely guilty that I am doing her a huge disservice if I'm not spending every spare minute playing with her. I hardly ever read anymore, or watch movies, or go out with friends. How can I quit feeling so guilty and like a bad mom?

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Re: Serving up a side of Mommy guilt...help!

  • LouiejLouiej member

    I would limit that man's library. ASAP.

    You can't do it all. Don't try, I promise it just sets you up to fail. If you're really worried about your DD (who sounds like a gem!) you could get a carrier and wear her while doing chores.

    Don't le

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  • ArnegardArnegard member
    Seriously, if baby wakes at 7 am and goes to bed at 7 pm - that is 12 hours, barring naps of what 3 more hours (not that my kids ever napped that long), so 9 hours of awake time.  He expects you to spend 3 hours a day interacting, socializing and pla
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  • freezorburnfreezorburn member

    Oh, wow. Tell him to put his books down and spend some time playing with DD when he gets home.

    Plus, babies need down time too. It's also great that she is okay playing independently so that you can get a few things done.

    Also, I have a pr

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  • sbevmc09sbevmc09 member
    I agree with Hav that encouraging independent play is also important.  Of course interacting with your child is important, but I feel like there has to be a balance there, not only for you, but for them.  Entertaining them 24/7 isn't a good thin
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  • jeffnstefjeffnstef member
    Thank you all... :-)  I know I'm doing a good job but I feel like it's not always enough. I will talk to him if we have another flare up but not until we are over this horrible cold we both have. 
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  • hjk5000hjk5000 member
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    Kick him in the nads and tell him to try staying home and playing with a baby all day long!!

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  • jeffnstefjeffnstef member
    imageLouiej:

    I would limit that man's library. ASAP.

    You can't do it all. Don't try, I promise it just sets you up to fail. I

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  • Mc_NewlywedMc_Newlywed member

    Aside from what the other ladies just said (and I whole heartedly agree) another point to consider is "what defines PLAY?"  You can fold laundry while talking & singing to your baby and that absolutely counts as play time.  So if you real


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