Pretzel really shouldn't Bump before bed

thepretzelchick · March 2013

Wanna hear my slightly-SouthBeach-related dreams? Yeah, you do, because I'm cool and I bring the Gosling.

Dream #1: I was in the drug store-pharmacy in the small northern California town my grandparents used to live in (before they came to live us and then die 36 hours apart. Fun times!). The store was filled with aisle after aisle of 1D pillows in all shapes, sizes, and designs. About a dozen SBers were in the store with me (most notably Wino, OM, Cole, Scout, and Hester), and all of a sudden a giant 1D pillow fight broke out. It was all in good fun until suddenly we heard helicopters overhead and someone yelling from a megaphone, "Aha! We knew you guys didn't actually like each other." It was some bishes who shall remain nameless from a board that shall remain nameless. Then air raid sirens went off and the drugstore got bombed, but thanks to the mass quantity of pillows, we remained safe. 1D saved our lives! The bishes couldn't understand how we survived and finally flew away all disgusted and disgruntled.

Dream #2: My family was in the house we live in now, only we were living next door to David Foster (in the house from The Bodyguard. That was his house, yo). He was having a TV awards ceremony at his house and the red carpet went through our backyard, so my mom and I were making hors d'oeuvres and passing them out to the celebrities. Benedict Cumbersnatch came by, locked eyes with me and said, "I'll see you later." RAWR. Apparently the awards show was honoring Dr. Who, because all the Doctors, except Matt Smith who couldn't be there for some reason, were sitting on our deck and sunbathing. They eventually left and we sat out on the deck and watched the ceremony. Afterwards, the doorbell rang and there was Matt Smith. He sat down and we started watching Sherlock and we were getting all snuggly, which seemed strange to me since I 1) don't watch Dr. Who and 2) don't find him particularly attractive, but then we started getting really snuggly and I discovered that he is indeed a verra good kisser. That, of course, got interrupted by Cumbersnatch making good on his promise to see me later and...well...this strange dream turned into a naughty Benny dream set to the soundtrack of 1D's "Irresistible."

See, isn't your day better for reading that?