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Baby Showers
ginah0401
member
baby shower for 2nd baby.
ginah0401
member
in Baby Showers
Would it be tacky to have a baby shower if this is my 2nd child? My first is 9 years old.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: baby shower for 2nd baby.
I'm in the minority. I say if someone offers to throw you a shower, graciously accept and party on! My family and circle of friends like to shower the expectant mom no matter the situation!
Yup. The age of your first child is irrelevant.
If someone offers, keep it small with no registry.
The short answer is yes.
The long answer is: if someone offers to throw you a shower for your second child, and you want to accept, go right ahead. If someone offers to throw you a shower, I would think that showers for second + babies are the norm in your circle.
They are not the norm in general, though.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I posted this same question a little while ago. My son is 10 and I am expecting a LO with my husband. I think the answer is to do what you would feel comfortable with. If you were invited to a friends baby shower in your same situation would you be offended by it or would you buy a gift and go happily?
Personally, I wouldn't have a problem buying a gift and helping friend celebrate a new baby (if her previous children are several years older). I do however think it is somewhat tacky to have a huge shower for someone who just had a child a year or so ago.
Bottom line, go with your gut and congrats on your LO!!
So you think that only a baby that is several years younger than his/her sibling is worthy of celebration?
Sounds like someone is trying to justify her own shower...hmmmm.
Where do I sign?
I agree that if you are offered one, keep it small.
it's nice when someone offers you a shower, and accepting the offer is up to you but keep in mind that even if your BFF or your family wants to throw you a shower, it doesnt mean that the guests want to attend a shower for a 2nd baby and bring you another present.
For example, 5 girls (including me) threw our friend a huge shower for her first baby (we literally spent upwards of a couple of hundred dollars each for the shower and we brought large gifts on top - she had a HUGE guest list - and had some demands like a professionally decorated cake from a specific bakery and certain type of drinks). 2 and half years later, she got pregnant again. 4 of us didn't offer her a shower for the second baby as we all agreed that 2nd showers are uncalled for. one of the original host decided to throw her a shower. and to make it "casual" they opted for a co-ed bbq but still had a registry. we felt obligated to go as she is still a friend of ours but we all side eyed it. and then the tantrums that came from the hubbies for having to spend a beautiful Saturday (we heard about how it was the perfect weather for golf through the whole BBQ)) at a shower... (this was also partly because it had become sort of a ritual for our group of friends where the girls go to the shower and the boys go golfing)
I'm totally of the other camp but I just had to give you props for acknowledging that there are other camps in such a chill way and for s'mores. Totally classy & diplomatic!
I agree with this. Every family is different. I have never heard of it being a big no no until I read it on here. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
With that said, if you do have a second shower, I would advise having a very small group and no registry.
I feel like I haven't noticed your posts until just recently - and I think I have an internet crush on you. And I love your Dawson pic.
...Says the mom pregnant with her second in less than what, three years?
Celebrate and honor the new life once it's here then.
I have a chart that I use to judge how tacky something is, complete with point assignments for each answer. It's like Cosmo quizzes up in here. (Let's see how many people actually believe that).
However, my overall general rule of thumb is No showers for 2nd+ babies.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
I'm coming to your camp cuz I love s'mores!
OP, has someone offered to throw you a shower?
this
exactly
LOVE this!
I agree that celebrating a new life isn't tacky. What IS tacky - is assuming the only way to celebrate a new life is through a shower. A shower "showers" the Mother-to-Be with gifts - a welcoming to motherhood so to speak. I do not need an invitation to another shower to buy you a gift if you are my friend or family member - I will do that because I agree a new life is important.
What this board stresses is that we do not need to be invited to a gift-giving event to be nice. Inviting me to a shower for subsequent children means you are EXPECTING that I provide for you again. That is why people on here are so adamant that showers (if offered) for subsequent children should be kept small, without registry information, and shouldn't include people who were invited to your first one. Why? Because the responsibility to provide for your children rests solely with mom and dad - not with friends and family.
There are perfectly acceptable alternatives to celebrate the life...like waiting until the LO is actually here!
I generally don't like a shower for a second (etc) child because there is no way for it not to seem greedy. Ex SIL had kids 18 months apart and had huge showers for both because she "needed baby supplies" . . . tacky.
Celebrating the new baby is wonderful - but do it in a way that doesn't involve a shower.