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November 2012 Moms
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Grandparent Criticism

MaebbMaebb member
in November 2012 Moms
My mom watches LO twice a week, and it is great because it saves us money, and I know he gets more attention there than at daycare. My brother has a baby who is 8 weeks younger than mine, so my mom has talked about some about their parenting choices ::cloth diapers, water birth, no pacifiers::, and I've told her that every parent makes their own choices, and you have to just respect their choices and not criticize. She does pretty well at that, but I guess my problem is that I don't always agree with my mom's choices for my LO. I don't want to be a hypocrite or be overly critical of her since she's helping us out by watching him, but here are some examples. She buys baby gear from 2nd hand stores and doesn't wash it very well before using it on LO. One was a Baby Bjorn, and I told her that I'd rather use our carrier because that one is not good for his alignment, but she said, "Oh, he was only in it a few minutes. I'm sure it's fine." Sometimes when he gets poop on his clothes, she'll put the dirty clothes in the same bag with dirty bottles. I understand if she doesn't have time to wash the clothes, but not even rinsed. Yesterday she put dirty bottles in the same bag with clean bibs, so I had to rewash the bibs. Sometimes she doesn't put LO in the car seat correctly. Again, I want to be grateful for the fact that she's helping, and I know it will hurt her feelings if I say anything. I am a FTM, so am I just making a big deal of things, and I shouldn't be so uptight? Would you say something? I am hoping to get some advice to get other moms' perspectives! Thanks!
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Re: Grandparent Criticism

  • kristin7701kristin7701 member
    As much as it is annoying, remember that's she is doing you a big favor. The only things I'd comment on are safetyrelated. I'd explain why having the carseat straps exactly right is crucial ie, risk of ejection and the risk to baby's hips of using the Bjo
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  • CandaceLeighCandaceLeigh member
    I typed a whole reply, but tb ate it. I'll repost later.


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  • BabyMakes 3BabyMakes 3 member
    Honestly, this made me cringe. Yes, she's doing you a favor, but IMO this is a little disrespectful to you and your LO health and safety. I would have a serious discussion with her and tell her that you are very uncomfortable with those specifics you ment
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  • fennyannfennyann member
    This sounds a lot like my mom. So I totally understand. It's hard to say anything because you don't want to hurt her feelings. But I agree with PP, if it's anything safety related, I would just have that discussion with her.
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  • mhaley1107mhaley1107 member
    It's never easy to share concerns over LO to a family member. I would have an easier time telling my mom my thoughts than telling DHs mom. You definitely should say something about the car seat. That's a pretty big deal compared to the others.
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  • BarooGirlBarooGirl member

    imageredwood807:
    If it were me, I'd let the small things go. And what I deem small would be the putting things in the bags togather

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  • CharlieMommaCharlieMomma member

    I agree you need to talk with her.

    To help her with the car seat, say "Here's a little trick that makes it easier to lock her in properly,etc " so that she sees maybe she is doing something wrong, but isn't exactly told "You're doing it WRONG"

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  • persephonerosepersephonerose member

    I agree with most of what PP said. I would address major safety issues first. The car seat would be a big deal to me.

    I would add, that dirty/poop clothing in with bottles would be another issue for me. Mixing clean clothes with bottles no big de

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  • CandaceLeighCandaceLeigh member

    Maybe you can approach the conversation in a less confrontational manner. It's really nice that she's buying LO things. Maybe you could offer to clean them for her. That way, you know they're cleaned to your liking. The carseat issue absolutely needs t



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  • ALEXIS RYANALEXIS RYAN
    I think you could tell her in a really nice way that you'd like things separated!! Or maybe buy some big ziplock bags and write clean on one and dirty on another. Then just explain that's its easier to have them separated when you get home and are unpacki
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