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I feel like all I do is yell at her...

njbride0603njbride0603 member
in Pre-School and Daycare
lately I feel like all I do is yell at my 4.5 yr old...anything i say she does the opposite...I have to constantly repeat myself....like this morning I asked her 4 times to sit in her carseat and ended up screaming my head off to the point that I had a headache and then she finally sat down. I then feel so guilty b/c I work FT and I don't want to spend the little time I have with her screaming...I've tried asking nicely and giving warnings but she doesn't seem to care. She seems to be good at school and for my parents and MIL who watch her during the week....I'm just at a loss. Anybody else feeling like all they do is yell?
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Re: I feel like all I do is yell at her...

  • wheelsonthebuswheelsonthebus member

    Yes, I can feel myself getting out of control. I just feed right off of DS. I often have to take a step back and calm myself down because I find the yelling, many times, only makes the whole situation worse. I have found staying calm and being consistent with time outs to be helpful. DS knows that if I have to ask him to do something three times, it's a time out.

    Now, that's obviously easier said than done, but it's what I strive for.

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  • KathrynMDKathrynMD member
    i feel it happening more and more. It drives me crazy b/c like every other day, we need to get up, get dressed, brush teeth, put on shoes, etc. but DD gets derailed constantly - with petting the cat, then a new towel needs to be examined. Oh, then forgot shoes, oh get shoes, get distracted again. I have to narrate every step - even for things she does regularly.
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  • echowysp2echowysp2

    Yes, and I'm currently reading How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will Too.

    I find myself yelling a lot when I'm interrupting his play/tv time to get him to do something.  The book addresses that what looks like misbehavior often times is the preschooler's brain difficulty breaking away from what they are engaged in.  They suggest that instead of me asking a million times that he puts on his shoes, and then ending up yelling at him when he doesn't comply, that I go over to him, touch him to get his attention and ask him to put them on.  Maybe even give him a choice of shoes to engage him. 

    I notice when I engage him, I have to yell less.  It's harder on me because I wish he'd just get his damn shoes on...lol.  But it seems to help a bit.

    1-2-3 Magic helped a lot too.

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  • LeggyNicLeggyNic member

    DD1 turned 4.5 yesterday and I feel the same way you do today.  It's more frustrating for me when I KNOW she's capable of something but just chooses not to do it.  The time change may have something to do with it, as both my girls have been off and overtired.

    I've started telling her that I'm not going to ask anymore but we have XX minutes before we need to leave and she needs to be ready.  I'll touch her, look her in the eye, and confirm she understands.  If she's not ready she will either not go to her fun activity or lose a privledge at the end of the day.

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  • WestCoastMommyWestCoastMommy member
    I hear you! DS is 4.5 and I feel like all we do is yell at him and constantly discipline. Then I feel sad because at the end of the day I look at my lil boy sitting on the couch and I want to just love on him and I'm mad that we spent our day at odds. Such a difficult age.
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  • flyingsaucerflyingsaucer member
    We use the clock a lot and it helps.  If DS is really engaged in something, then I will say something like "at 7:15 you have to stop and go take a bath". This gets him to regulate himself and keeps me from having to nag. 
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  • litzo27litzo27 member
    Yes! DH and I even said recently that it looks like he skipped the terrible twos to save it for the terrible fours. I'm going to read "how to talk..." to see if i can help myself model better behavior with him.
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  • Kim&JimKim&Jim member
    This post literally made my day!  I feel the same over here and I'm glad to know it's not just me. I have said over and over that 4 has hands down been the worst year for us. Hoping 5 gets here soon and is better...
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  • KatieandMark06KatieandMark06 member

    Yes my DD who is just slightly younger than yours is the same way,   I also work full time and I don't want to be yelling at her all the time.  I really don't have any advice just to say I sympathize. 

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  • RidgebackmomRidgebackmom member
    imagebriderx:

    imagefredalina:
    I don't find this thread encouraging at all.

    I'm with you on this one. Three has been awful. I was really looking forward to four.  


    I was really hoping that 4 was going to be more controlled!  3 is/was very tough!!
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