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Invite Ettiquette

carlieanddanweddingcarlieanddanwedding member
in Baby Showers

Hey all!  I have an invite etiquette question for you!

My bff is hosting a shower for me, and I am working on coming up with a guest list for her.  I'm not due until August, so we have plenty of time to get it figured out (we're planners!).  I have a very close-knit group of friends, many of whom have known each other since early high school (we are all now in our late 20's/early 30's).

My cousin is also hosting a shower for me in my home town (about an eight hour drive from the city I live in), with just family and close family friends for whom it would be more convenient for just one person (me) to come down there rather than try to get all of them to come up here!  This shower will mostly be people my parents' age.  The guest lists are completely separate. 

 My question is, I have two very good friends, part of the aforementioned close-knit group, who moved back to our home town.  It would certainly be more convenient for them to come to the shower my cousin is hosting, but they would know almost no one there besides me and each other.  It would be more FUN for them to come to the shower my bff is hosting, since they would know almost everyone, but it's a long trip for them.  What would you do?  Ask ahead of time which they would prefer to be invited to?  Invite them to both and make clear that they should just come to whichever is most convenient/fun for them, if they are able to come at all?  Just invite them to one or the other, and if so, which?  Thoughts?

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Re: Invite Ettiquette

  • 1026pumpkin1026pumpkin member
    I think it's ok to ask them which they would prefer.  They might not mind making a road-trip to your friend shower if it means they'll get to catch up with the group, but I would ask before assuming.
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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member
    As they are good friends- just ask them which they'd rather be invited to.
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  • AAA024AAA024
    Have your host ask them which would be better for them.

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  • lily_721lily_721 member

    I am having two showers:  friends vs family.  MIL is hosting my family one.  She asked if I wanted to invite any friends to that one.  I have two friends that live closer to MIL than my mom so I offered both options to them.  B

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  • LaineyPaneyLaineyPaney member
    imageEastCoastBride:
    As they are good friends just ask them which they'd rather be invited to.


    Ditto
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  • lisa5201lisa5201 member
    Agree to ask them which they'd rather attend, but I would also let them know they are welcome (but in no way obligated to attend) both parties as well. If they are super close friends I wouldn't find this weird at all
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  • kennazebrowskykennazebrowsky member

    image1026pumpkin:
    I think it's ok to ask them which they would prefer.  They might not mind making a road-trip to your friend
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  • msyoonmsyoon
    I would definitely just ask them which one they would prefer to attend. I think if my BFF asked me I would rather attend one where I know more people plus it'll make the trip worth the drive since it'll be a good opportunity to catch up with people too, i
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