OB expectations too high?

Mrs.AllyH · March 2013

So I moved to a new city just as I found out that I'm pregnant. I asked about a recommendation and got one for an office, but the OB that was recommended wasn't available. So I met with another one. I must say, I haven't been getting the warm and fuzzies about the OB or the office. Before she even met me she had the nurse ask me to get undressed and prepare for a pap. When I expressed my discomfort and that I would like to meet her first, it was a generally negative response of attitude. The Dr then came in and ran down a list of scripted questions, checking boxes quickly. Then she said "put these on" (Scrubs) and said she'd be back in a minute. I never got to ask questions, at least I didn't feel comfortable asking them. It all just seemed "cold." There was no feeling of nurturing, no feeling of happiness, just cold. Plus, I failed the 1 hour glucose and I had to call to get that result. I also had to follow up a week later to get my pap results. IDK. I've only seen her once and don't have another appointment until late April.

Is it too soon to change OBs after one visit? Is being 4 months pregnant too late to change OBs? I would want to completely change practices and hospitals.

DebateThis · March 2013

ChancieMark:
Your expectations are too high. This is their job, not their hobby. They aren't required to squee over everyone t

Mrs.AllyH · March 2013

I'm not expecting a squee- I don't give a crap whether she is happy for me. I do expect to be treated like a person, not a number and not a robot.

Tally879 · March 2013

Too high, I met my Dr while half naked under a sheet. She should have left time for questions, but the Dr is there for an exam it's a waste of time for her to start the exam and then have to leave for 10 minutes while you disrobe.

ETA: It's

atcwag · March 2013

I wouldn't feel comfortable with my care in the hands of a person who doesn't even ask if I have questions. I mean, I'd probably give it at least 2 appts. Maybe she was having a bad day, or had a heavy patient load. If I continued feel uncomfortable, I'd

nicole925 · March 2013

Your expectations are too high. This sounds like a typical first appointment, the same thing happened to me with all 3 pregnancies. Although they do ask if I have any questions before leaving. If you are not comfortable, find a new OB but you will probabl

couliegirl · March 2013

Have you considered a midwife? It's been my experience that they take more time with their patients. Their model of care is different than an OB. A simple Google search will yield you a good definition of a Midwife's model of care vs an OB. GL!

Mama3+1 · March 2013

Sorry to all of the above but I couldn't disagree more. Just because this is not new to Dr doesn't mean they have to be zipping in an out without a smile or handshake. I personally switched ob's when I was pregnant with number three and new in town also g

nycnola · March 2013

I am going to buck the trend and say your expectations are NOT too high. If you feel like you can't even ask questions, that's a problem. The majority of missed diagnoses in doctor's offices come when people don't/can't ask questions. I think you might fe

stever · March 2013

ChancieMark:
Your expectations are too high. This is their job, not their hobby. They aren't required to squee over everyone they

SaranJonathan · March 2013

My ob is always polite. He shakes my hand and asks how I have been. He leaves time for questions. He tends to run behind however when it's my turn I get him 100%.

staceymack · March 2013

My experience is similar. I have started going to a new practice since bfp after seeing the same OB/Gyn for 15 years (she is 2 hours away from where I live now). I work in health care so I do not expect special treatment or them to fuss over me, but I

notkateanymore · March 2013

I think your expectations are a little high, but it's not too much to ask for a doctor to take the time to answer your questions. If they're running so behind that they are rushed for time, it's due to poor office staff, over-scheduling...not a good excus

PrimRoseMama · March 2013

It sounds like you might be expecting a little much. I use a combination midwife/OB. I see the OBs maybe twice [there are three] and rotate through the midwives so I meet them all before I deliver. They come in, do their jobs and move on.

How

allurea · March 2013

While I feel that you should be able to ask questions and you should definitely feel comfortable with your OB, I think being told to strip down by a nurse before the doctor comes in is pretty standard. In my experience the questions portion of the v

nyki06 · March 2013

In my experience with doctors it seems like they either fall into the very logical/straight forward group or the personable group. I know a lot of people would rather have a doctor who is extremely straight forward and not emotional but I'm not that type

jreavey · March 2013

I suggest you find an OB practice that has certified midwives on staff. I go to an office where I see whoever is available that day. Because I'm low risk, I typically choose the midwives over the OBs because they are more caring and receptive

BabyCampbell312 · March 2013

My doc that delivered my first baby retired and I was going to see the doc that took over his practice. Never met her, saw her... nothing. Had to go in and get a pap without meeting her.

Thing is, it is their job. If they go in and spend al

shakes · March 2013

You said you didn't feel comfortable asking questions. Did they ask if you had any questions?

I would look into a midwife as PP's have mentioned. I don't see much wrong with the way your apt went but based on what you have said its possible a mi

MommyKayla11 · March 2013

I would expect the same, but maybe my expectations are a little too high as well.

katiebenes · March 2013

I think part of the problem is that the doctor doesn't typically have to ask those questions, it's usually the nurses job. she may have felt itwas annoying. there should have been time for questions... but I met the first doctor while naked under a sheet.

mawarren · March 2013

Your expectations are NOT too high. I got everything you wanted out of my OB. He has his own practice and at first the nurse came in and asked lots of questions to get a history. Then he came in and talked to me before having me get undressed for the pap,

lovelyAngelique · March 2013

I couldn't disagree more with posters saying your expectations are too high. Just because they are willing to lie down and take it from the medical professionals doesn't mean you have to! Find an OB that makes you comfortable. Mine is great. She smiles, c

katiebenes · March 2013

The only reason I say too high is because it was just one appointment. we all have bad days... I know I'm not always in the right state of mind. And when asked to do things that really aren't my job, I'd be in an even worse mood.

Now, if it

MJHershey · March 2013

A little too high but you shoudl at least feel comfortable asking questions and not feel like the person is distant and cold.

BentoMinion · March 2013

Wow, from reading most of your posts, I feel bad for you ladies. With the 4 kids (4OB's and 3 Peri's) I have only once been made to feel like a number by either my OB or Peri. That was the OB that failed to catch my PreE and HELLP until it was

sleepy33 · March 2013

I don't think your expectations are too high. I switched OBs after essentially one visit. My new doctor is male, which I thought I might be a bit uncomfortable about, but he was totally personable and nice, without being over-the-top. I guarantee, the app

Crinita · March 2013

Absolutely not. Yeah, I don't expect a hug-fest, but my minimum standard is to be treated like a human being. Yeah, I understand the reality of overworked, etc., but still... there is no excuse for not being able to ask at least one question.&

magdalina.h · March 2013

You sound needy

chrisandmonique4ever · March 2013

I had the same experience you did. Cold uncaring Drs, so I switched last pregnancy at 7months! It was the best move ever! Every Dr at the new office is amazing, sometimes it I'm like ok soooo are we done herelol. And each Dr in that practice has given me

missjean81302 · March 2013

Honestly, no matter how many excuses there are for WHY Dr's are not always "warm and caring", its ultimately up to YOU. There ARE OB's out there who are just amazing. Others are not. Dont feel bad for them if you are not happy there. This is YOUR pregnanc

Hollywogg · March 2013

To those saying that manners are not part of a doctor's job i have to strongly disagree. Bedside manner IS part of a doctor's job. Period. But doctors are people and people have different personalities. What some see as cold others see as professional. Wh

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