Brother's wedding all about me?

Hein612 · March 2013

My brother's and my birthday are only a day (and a couple) years apart, and I seem to have stolen the spotlight away from him since I was born. We just found out we are pregnant and would like to wait until after the 1st Dr. Apt to tell our families we are pregnant. The problem is, there are 2 bridal showers, a bachelorette party for his fianc? and his wedding during the weeks following the Dr apt. Do I wait until they come back from their honeymoon to tell anyone? This is a really hard secret to keep, but I don't want to make his big day all about me.

megframe16 · March 2013

Hein612:
My brother's and my birthday are only a day and a couple years apart, and I seem to have stolen the spotlight away from him since I was born. We just found out we are pregnant and would like to wait until after the 1st Dr. Apt to tell our families we are pregnant. The problem is, there are 2 bridal showers, a bachelorette party for his fianc and his wedding during the weeks following the Dr apt. Do I wait until they come back from their honeymoon to tell anyone? nbsp;This is a really hard secret to keep, but I don't want to make his big day all about me.nbsp;

Depends on how far out the Dr apt and wedding I'd apart. If they question not drinking I would offer to sober cab but sounds like to me you should wait until after to let then have their big day. Maybe tell a few close friends so you'renot completely tongue tied! God luck

ShakeUpTampa · March 2013

Honestly if you could wait I would, not just for your brother but his wife to be. Maybe tell your parents in secret (I did a few people in secret) but not to blast it all over. It is kind of you to at least consider this.

BCoffin2929 · March 2013

If you can help it (ie: not looking too suspect not drinking) then maybe it would be best to wait until after their honeymoon, as long as you don't have to wait too long, I am sure they would appreciate that with their exciting day coming up, I was a bride that went through my husband's sister going through a divorce during our special time, it wasn't optimal but life happens and we understood. If you feel like you can't wait and have to tell them then it is what it is, it's exciting news and there is no reason why everyone shouldn't be thrilled about it. It's better news then divorce!! ha. Good Luck with your decision, I know for us we had to tell our immediate family soon after finding out, we are so close and I wanted their support!

526SadieSadie · March 2013

I think you could wait until after the wedding, it's very kind of you to be worried about stealing their wedding thunder. The showers won't be a problem because no one should wonder why you aren't drinking, they should be focused on the bride to be, but if you attend the b-party and are asked why you aren't drinking, say you're getting over a stomach bug and the medicine the doctor gave you makes you projectile vomit if you drink alcohol with it. No one will try to call your bluff, I promise.

mdlyons · March 2013

I would wait if you can. My sister got pregnant during my engagement and had my niece 2 weeks prior to my wedding. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister and I love my niece, and life happens..., but my wedding was completely put on the back burner. My mom never wanted to discuss the wedding or help me plan for it. She was all about going shopping for the upcoming baby. And all they talked about way the baby. It was pretty heartbreaking for me because my big day was no longer a big deal. I knew once the baby arrived, it would get worse, and I was right. The last 2 weeks before my wedding were super stressful because Mom & I had still had to do all of the planning and all she wanted to do was be with her grandbaby. I can't blame her, but it still hurt. Both of my parents walked me down the aisle, and during the rehearsal, my mom wouldn't put the baby down to practice. Finally someone walked over and took the baby from her. I realize your family probably won't be nearly this bad, but if you can keep from potentially hurting your bother or soon to be sister-in-law, it will be very appreciated by them. We haven't announced our pregnancy news yet. I have a good friend who recently got engaged and is in the initial stages of planning her wedding. I want her to have her time to shine before I say "oh by the way!"

lovelittlebean · March 2013

You are a great sister just for thinking about your brother's feelings. A lot of people wouldn't even care and just steal another person's thunder no problem.

kelle017 · March 2013

I agree that you should wait if you can.

Lisabeth27 · March 2013

You are very sweet! This happened to me at my wedding my sister was 8 weeks along. She told me and our mom and dad but no one else. To me it didn't feel like she stole the thunder at all and no one else at my wedding knew so the spot light was still on me! My sister and I are best friends though so your situation may be different. I would have felt hurt if she didn't call me the minute she found out she was pregnant because she was my first call for my BFP!!

AH20 · March 2013

I found out I was pregnant the night before our (couple) best friends wedding.

I didn't say anything to anyone until months later because it is about them and it's awefully selfish to just bring your self up on their day. You have plunty of time to make it about you in the later months.

Heck our friends were upset because they got married in August and we didn't even tell them in October when they spoke with my fiance. They found out late novmber.

So wait. I know your excited but you can wait, it wont kill you.

MommyKayla11 · March 2013

I'd love to have a sister like you!

hartsl01 · March 2013

This is almost the identical situation that I am in. Got a BFP Feb. 15th.. 1st shower on the 17th, 2nd shower and bachelorette party for my soon to be SIL on the 23rd and the wedding is April 13th.

It was very easy to keep quiet during the showers because well, there was no reason to have to spill my secret. As far as the bachelorette party, I told my cousin and needless to say, she drank for the both of us. I had a drink in my hand all night and she would drink half and then we'd trade. Needless to say, she was pretty trashed, but she does love me! lol

As for the wedding coming up, we are planning on telling our families on Easter weekend (2 weeks before the wedding). There is absolutely NO WAY I would share this news on my brother's big day. I would have been upset if someone had done that at my wedding and I wouldn't think of doing it at his.

You mention that the wedding is in the weeks following the Drs. appt., any specific reason you wouldn't want to tell your family after that (while still before the wedding?) I understand on the timing thing. By the time Easter rolls around I'll be 10 weeks and hopefully we'll get an "all clear" from the Dr. I would either tell them at least a week before the wedding or not until after the wedding.

katiebenes · March 2013

Darbie914:
mdlyons:
I would wait if you can. My sister got pregnant during my engagement and had my niece 2 weeks prior to my wedding. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister and I love my niece, and life happens..., but my wedding was completely put on the back burner. My mom never wanted to discuss the wedding or help me plan for it. She was all about going shopping for the upcoming baby. And all they talked about way the baby. It was pretty heartbreaking for me because my big day was no longer a big deal. I knew once the baby arrived, it would get worse, and I was right. The last 2 weeks before my wedding were super stressful because Mom & I had still had to do all of the planning and all she wanted to do was be with her grandbaby. I can't blame her, but it still hurt. Both of my parents walked me down the aisle, and during the rehearsal, my mom wouldn't put the baby down to practice. Finally someone walked over and took the baby from her. I realize your family probably won't be nearly this bad, but if you can keep from potentially hurting your bother or soon to be sister-in-law, it will be very appreciated by them. We haven't announced our pregnancy news yet. I have a good friend who recently got engaged and is in the initial stages of planning her wedding. I want her to have her time to shine before I say "oh by the way!"
Um where was your FI in all this? Shouldn't he have been the one planning with you?

If your FI helped plan you're lucky. my DH wanted to help with food and gave a few "must-nots" for the wedding and that was IT. He just stepped back and signed the checks.

katiebenes · March 2013

And as for the OP... waiting would be sweet.

maybe when they get back invite everyone to a dinner and tell them then.

kaushaun · March 2013

I agree with most of the previous posts. I'd wait as long as you could. My BIL and his fiance got pregnant and then decided to have their wedding a couple of weeks after ours so they could get married before the baby got here, and then the baby came, and then he deployed. So our wedding basically got completely over-looked. And on top of it this year, my other SIL is now due 5 days before I am. I understand life happens. But its nice when other people consider you and your special days before they start announcing things of their own.

tencheer · March 2013

Very nice of you to think of their feelings. Would it be possible to just tell immediate family and not make a broad announcement? That way you can still let your family know but not be outshining your family.

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