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If you have a strong-willed child....

CallMeAlCallMeAl member
in Success after IF

(for mobile) If you have a strong-willed child, please help me out.

DD is quite strong-willed, and has been basically since birth. She started throwing blue-in-the-face, kicking across the room temper tantrums at 10 months and hasn't slowed down since.

It is 9:13 AM and I have already battled my (not even) 17 month old on putting her feet on the table, putting a coat on to leave the house, that she can't go outside when it is 32 degrees and dark, that she needs to get in her carseat so that we can get to school, that she has to wear pants before we can leave the house, etc. And when I say battle, I mean she screams, attempts to hit me, kicks, etc.

I am struggling. We do not believe in spanking. She is really a little young for time outs from what I have read. I try to distract. I try to pick my battles. She is an only child, and DH and I do not throw temper tantrums ourselves. We have raised our voices in front of her during arguments a handful of times in 17 months, but it is by no means often so I'm not even sure where she is getting inspiration.

What the heck do I do? Any thoughts? Advice? Hugs?

DX: Severe MFI 
IVF # 1 ~ Antagonist ~ ER 1/27/11~ ET 1/30/11 ~ + HPT 7dp3dt 
DD born med-free on 10/24/11 
Lilypie - (lZjk)
IVF # 2 ~Antagonist ~ ER 6/5/13 ~ ET 6/10/13 ~ + HPT 4dp5dt 
Lilypie - (OUlo)

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Re: If you have a strong-willed child....

  • itsmevkbitsmevkb member

    I will offer you big hugs because I know how hard it is to maintain your patience and composure during outbursts like that.  Thankfully, my kids have all been relatively good behavior wise but I do find that my daughter is strong-willed and that s

    Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

    Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck.  Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.

    This Cluttered Life

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  • TJ1979TJ1979 member
    That sounds so frustrating!  Huge hugs mama!  I can't believe that precious angel in your siggy pic could act like that.  I really like all of itsme's advice.  I'm also too new to parenthood to be able to give advice, but her ideas all
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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  • CallMeAlCallMeAl member

    Thanks for the hugs and the advice itsme! I do try to make it silly and give her fair warning of what's going to happen, but I could do a better job at it. I will definitely try some one minute timeouts and see how it goes.

    I do keep trying to re

    DX: Severe MFI 
    IVF # 1 ~ Antagonist ~ ER 1/27/11~ ET 1/30/11 ~ + HPT 7dp3dt 
    DD born med-free on 10/24/11 
    Lilypie - (lZjk)
    IVF # 2 ~Antagonist ~ ER 6/5/13 ~ ET 6/10/13 ~ + HPT 4dp5dt 
    Lilypie - (OUlo)

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  • ELF4321ELF4321 member
    I have no advice, but I see my future in your post. DD is 10 months and has been throwing kicking and screaming tantrums for several months now if she doesn't like what we're doing at the time or if I won't let her play with something. Hugs.


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  • new+tothisnew+tothis member

    ::big hugs::

    I've been there. Some days I'm still there. The best advice I have is to try a few different things and see what works for you. I LOVED the book "Raising your Spirited Child" it really helped me understand my son better and why he is

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  • Dragonfly1226Dragonfly1226 member
    It is so hard! One thing that helps is that I give DS a choice whenever possible. For example, he hates putting a shirt on in the morning, but if I pull out two or three shirts and let him pick one then he will usually put it on without a problem. When yo
    image
    Unexplained Infertility

    After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!

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    TTC #2
    After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!

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  • CallMeAlCallMeAl member

    imageELF4321:
    I have no advice, but I see my future in your post. DD is 10 months and has been throwing kicking and screaming tantr
    DX: Severe MFI 
    IVF # 1 ~ Antagonist ~ ER 1/27/11~ ET 1/30/11 ~ + HPT 7dp3dt 
    DD born med-free on 10/24/11 
    Lilypie - (lZjk)
    IVF # 2 ~Antagonist ~ ER 6/5/13 ~ ET 6/10/13 ~ + HPT 4dp5dt 
    Lilypie - (OUlo)

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  • CallMeAlCallMeAl member
    imagenew+tothis:

    ::big hugs::

    I've been there. Some days I'm still there. The best advice I have is to try a few different th

    DX: Severe MFI 
    IVF # 1 ~ Antagonist ~ ER 1/27/11~ ET 1/30/11 ~ + HPT 7dp3dt 
    DD born med-free on 10/24/11 
    Lilypie - (lZjk)
    IVF # 2 ~Antagonist ~ ER 6/5/13 ~ ET 6/10/13 ~ + HPT 4dp5dt 
    Lilypie - (OUlo)

    Report Reply
  • CallMeAlCallMeAl member

    imageDragonfly1226:
    It is so hard! One thing that helps is that I give DS a choice whenever possible. For example, he hates putting
    DX: Severe MFI 
    IVF # 1 ~ Antagonist ~ ER 1/27/11~ ET 1/30/11 ~ + HPT 7dp3dt 
    DD born med-free on 10/24/11 
    Lilypie - (lZjk)
    IVF # 2 ~Antagonist ~ ER 6/5/13 ~ ET 6/10/13 ~ + HPT 4dp5dt 
    Lilypie - (OUlo)

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  • laura1laura1 member
    My DD is pretty strong willed.  I agree with the others - advanced warning, time outs (we started early with DD because she would hit DS and he would wonder why she didn't get TOs for hitting while he did), and choices.  I also do lots of counti
    TTC#1 = Success on Cycle#19 with Clomid/trigger/b2b IUIs; beta#1 (15dpiui) 200, #2 (18dpiui) 433, #3 (22dpiui) 2356; TTC#2 = Surprise BFP 9/2009; TTC#3 = m/c at 6 wks, 10/29/11; BFP#2 4/1/2012... Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • MoFreeMoFree member
    I haven't reached that stage so no first hand experience. I've read that giving choices helps. "Should I put your coat in in the kitchen or the hall." She still has to do what's expected but she feels some sense of control. My SIL swears that method works
    TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

    FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

    FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

    No more frosties

    IVF #2. September 2014

    PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

    SET November 9, 2014
    Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

    Not sure where to go from here.

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  • SaraevhSaraevh member

    imageDragonfly1226:
    It is so hard! One thing that helps is that I give DS a choice whenever possible. For example, he hates putting
    *My Loves, My Life, My Littles*

    02/18/11, 05/24/12 and 12/03/13



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  • sbrowns08sbrowns08 member
    ((hugs)) I have a sneaking suspicion I'll be here eventually. Do you still nurse?  

    "I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted what I asked of him." ~1 Samuel 1:27
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    "Whatever it takes, we walk together." ~Pittsburgh Penguins
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  • Mrs.AmyDylanMrs.AmyDylan member

    I work with a ton of kids in the 2-5 age range. The best kids I ever met the mom shared her method, "parenting with love and logic". Check it out on Amazon. J is only two months, so I havent read it yet. But the book

    TTC Since 3/2010
    Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
    Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
    Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
    IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
    ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
    ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze
    Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
    Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Team Green!! 
    Baby girl J arrived two weeks early! Born into water, med-free. Hooray for Team Pink!

    TTC #2 - back to the RE, treatment started 12/2014. 

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  • CallMeAlCallMeAl member

    imagesbrowns08:
    ((hugs)) I have a sneaking suspicion I'll be here eventually. Do you still nurse?  
    </BLOCKQUOT
    DX: Severe MFI 
    IVF # 1 ~ Antagonist ~ ER 1/27/11~ ET 1/30/11 ~ + HPT 7dp3dt 
    DD born med-free on 10/24/11 
    Lilypie - (lZjk)
    IVF # 2 ~Antagonist ~ ER 6/5/13 ~ ET 6/10/13 ~ + HPT 4dp5dt 
    Lilypie - (OUlo)

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  • oooCarrieBoooCarrieB

    I have started using the count to three method. I'm not sure why it works, especially since I've never said what would happen at 3.

    In general, I try to ignore tantrums or distract he from whatever is upsetting her. We've been having a lot in th

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  • new+tothisnew+tothis member
    You have mail!
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  • imoveritimoverit member
    123 magic is an awesome resource. Time outs work if you are consistent and work hard on training your LO to sit there. Hugs mama. Battles are no fun.
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