wedding gifts, shower gifts, baptism gifts

lily_721 · March 2013

I feel so gift grabby. DH said we are not and this is a natural progression. Uhg.

Our wedding was two years ago. I declined all bridal shower offers; MIL had a small surprise one for me. We opted not to have bachelor/bachelorette parties as well.

Now we are having a baby and having two showers -- one for friends, one for family.

Then we will have the baptism in the fall. DH has a very large family and we couldn't eliminate them from the celebration.

I feel so gift grabby and I hate it. I never want anyone to feel obligated to spend money.

EastCoastBride · March 2013

I don't equate baptism's as gift giving events, quite honestly! I know some people give gifts, but I've never felt I had to.

But past that - I agree w/ your DH. It is a natural progression and you have people in your life who clearly want to do this for you. I TOTALLY get your feelings - I felt the same way. But people do enjoy celebrating with you.

1026pumpkin · March 2013

MandJS:
The shower is meant for gifts. The baptism is not. While many people will still bring a gift, they are not obligated to do so. But yeah. If you feel uncomfortable, then you can always decline the showers...

This isn't gift grabby. Getting married, having children, and baptizing them are all regular life events, and nobody is required to purchase gifts for them (and you're not doing them for the gifts!). If you really feel uncomfortable with gifts, you could always decline the showers, as MandJS suggested, but 2 showers with different guest lists for a first time mom does not come off as gift-grabby to me.

jess9802 · March 2013

If it makes you feel any better no one gave DS any gifts when he was baptized.

ArmyWife114 · March 2013

Our families (my parents, DH's parents, DH's grandmothers and his two aunts) opted to give gifts for baptism. I didn't even realize you gave gifts at a baptism if you weren't the godparent. The thought simply didn't occur to me at all, so I wouldn't really worry about being gift grabby in this case.

lily_721 · March 2013

ArmyWife114:
Our families (my parents, DH's parents, DH's grandmothers and his two aunts) opted to give gifts for baptism. I didn't even realize you gave gifts at a baptism if you weren't the godparent. The thought simply didn't occur to me at all, so I wouldn't really worry about being gift grabby in this case.

I wonder if this is optional in DH's family. I always give gifts for baptisms, first communion, confirmation, etc. I give a bit more to the godchildren but everyone gets something. I never considered NOT giving, I am going to have ask MIL.

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wedding gifts, shower gifts, baptism gifts

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