dh doesn't get it...

Re: dh doesn't get it...

• Disneygeek77 member

  March 2013

  Have you told your husband how you feel ?   I would look at him straight in the eye and tell him that the crazy and committed jokes are unacceptable.  He is being mean and hurtful and he needs to stop. 

  Don't feel bad about your emotions being all over the place.  I remember after my second c/section I cried because my Jimmy John's sandwich was falling apart every time I bit into it. 

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• kindershlitz member

  March 2013

  I agree with being direct. Take him to your follow up so dr can be direct about your restrictions. You had major surgery. Don't feel bad about emotions. Your body has been through a lot and hormones are flying!

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• kpearse99 member

  March 2013

  I know EXACTLY how you feel.  DH kind of did the same, except he would get angry with me and my being too emotional.  I remember he would just keep asking me "What's wrong with you?"  and of course, that didn't help much!

  He didn't get it, and in fact, the majority of men DON'T get it, because they don't have hormones and will never experience what we did.  I found comfort into talking to my mom and MIL and even a good friend or two who have gone through it.  It took me a while, but I always felt better after talking to them because the DID understand.

  It def. didn't make it easier to have DH get upset everytime I got upset.  He just didn't understand that wasn't what I needed.  I just needed it to be "OK" with him that I was very emotional and to understand that it was part of the process and that I would get over it and get better with time.

  Hang in there, and know you aren't alone.  But I would suggest talking to some females that have been through it, as they are really the only ones that can give you insight.

  Our TTC Journey
  

  TTC #1: May 2011
  BFP: 10/27/2011 |  EDD: 6/30/12
  DS born 6/28/12 via C/S  
  
  TTC #2: September 2018
  Me: 36 | DH: 39
  Mirena removed 9/13/2018 after 6 years
  BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
  July 2019 - Diagnosed with Secondary Unexplained IF
  August 2019 - 2.5 mg of Letrozole = Never Ovulated so Trigger and IUI were cancelled
  9/30/2019 - IUI #1 (5 mg of Letrozole + Trigger) =  BFP but Betas showed CP @ 4 weeks
  10/28/2019 - IUI #2 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN
  11/25/2019 - IUI #3 (7.5mg of Letrozole, Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
  12/24/2019 - IUI #4 (7.5mg of Letrozole + Crinone after IUI) = BFN
  1/24/2020 - IUI #5 (50mg of Clomid + Trigger + Crinone after IUI) = BFN and an Ovarian Cyst
  3/2/2020 - Taking a break to reset/NTNP
  11/1/2020 - At peace with where things are in life and are no long actively TTC. Whatever happens will happen and it will all be okay.
  
  

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• hopefulmom81 member

  March 2013

  kindershlitz:

  I agree with being direct. Take him to your follow up so dr can be direct about your restrictions. You had major surgery. Don't feel bad about emotions. Your body has been through a lot and hormones are flying!

  Taking him to the follow up is a great idea.

  The period of time after L&D is EXTREMELY precarious for women.  Lots going on inside the body.

  I am so sorry he isn't being compassionate. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• emaddock member

  March 2013

  Honestly, I don't think that anyone can get it unless they have been through it themselves. I had a lot of sadness after my first and really felt like no one understood. But in all fairness I wouldn't have really understood either. So I think it is important to directly state how you are feeling. He won't ever get it but can hopefully be empathetic.

  

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