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Cold feet

mtenderemtendere member
in Adoption
So, all of a sudden, I'm having a lot of second thoughts about the whole adoption process. It's so overwhelming and uncertain. Some of it is normal, second child anxiety and some is specific to the adoption process.

Is this a normal part of the discernment process? How do you/did you work through it?
***************************** Our beautiful daughter was born in October 2009. Turns out she was quite the miracle. After two years of TTC, diagnosed with DOR. A couple of failed treatment cycles later, we decided to let go of our hope for more biological children and explore adoption.
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Re: Cold feet

  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    I had moments of that. I would take a break. Not move forward for a week or so.

    I hope it goes away, it certainly did for me. If it helps I had moments of cold feet before pursuing Ivf again too,
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers image
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
    Yes, it's normal. We worked through it in different ways, depending on the source of the cold feet.
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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    Also after 4 failed matches and 18 months of waiting, I confessed to my mom the night before dd was born I was terrified. Of all of it. But that didn't last long :
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers image
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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  • potatoheadpotatohead member
    When we were busy with paperwork, we didn't doubt.  It was the waiting time that took it's toll.  After going through each month without a glimmer, we started to be okay with the fact that it might not work and we would be happy as a family of 3.  We were giving it until this summer.  We didn't want there to be such a huge age difference between DD#1 and our next child.  Thankfully, the waiting paid off and we finally got "the call."  Then, all doubt melted away and no more cold feet!  Give it some time.  It's worth it if it's meant to be.  (I know, easier said than done, but it's true.)
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    after several m/c, DD#1 born 7-7-08, more m/c and failed IVF, started adoption process March 2011, matched Oct 2, 2012, DD#2 born 10-31-12
    Hope Wait Pray Adoption Blog
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