feeling sad

Agasca21 · March 2013

I'm new to this community board and just wanted to know if anyone else has any experience with having a baby in the NICU and have kids at home. I had my baby boy the 8th of this month and I was 34 wks and 2 days. I'm feeling kinda sad because I can't be there with him 24/7. I just hope these few weeks go by fast and he can come home asap.

Brummy14 · March 2013

Welcome and congrats on the arrival of your LO! What you're feeling is normal...FWIW, I was able to be at the NICU everyday, all 81 days, and I was still pretty sad. It completely wore me out. There's definitely a balance, but I'm convinced there's no such thing as a sweet spot. Rest assured that your LO is in the best possible hands at this stage, and will soon be in yours. That won't make the time pass any faster, I know, but sometimes I needed to just keeping reminding myself of that fact.

jcsntms06 · March 2013

I was in your shoes last year when my baby girl was born. My oldest was only 2.5 years old and she had a really hard time adjusting to mommy and daddy being gone. We keep her in her routine (which was daycare during the day). During the day I would spend as much time at the NICU with C and then around 3, I would run to pick up A. Then after dinner DH would run to the hospital and stay with C until 10 or 11 at night. My heart broken every single time I had to leave C.On the weekend I had family volunteer to take A for the weekend. This helped so we could be at the hospital with C almost around the clock.

Congratulations on your baby boy. Praying that he has a short NICU stay. Please keep us posted.

cottingham3 · March 2013

First of all congrats!

I totally get your feelings. My son, Fowler, was born in dec at 26 weeks. This is our 11th week in the NICU with 2 bigs at home.

I feel very blessed that they...8 and 7...are both in school so I can visit Fowler for a good part of the day. However, since our NICU is closed for flu and rsv season we have to leave the big kids for my husband to visit after work. Although we have found a nice pattern I still feel so TORN between my obligations. I feel bad when my bigs need me and feel bad when im home away from the baby!

Hopefully you won't have much longer to have your heart and attention divided. Know your feelings are normal. Praying you are all under one roof soon!

wille2b · March 2013

im sorry your feeling this way. we had to deal with the same thing. mine came at 33 weeks and we had a 2.5yo at home. I hated leaving home and the hospital but had to find a happy medium for everyones sake. i tried to make the evening and bedtime a super special time with our oldest and then after he went to bed me and dh would go to the hospital for the bulk of the night while ds stayed with family. I know that isnt alway possible though. just try to make your time at home special so the older ones dont feel neglected. for what its worth my twins at 33 weeks came home in less than 3 weeks, so heres to hoping your nicu stay is shorter than that ((HUGS))

Agasca21 · March 2013

Thanks for all the comments they really did help. The doctor said he would have to stay for only a couple of weeks. I just hope they go by really fast.

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