How often do people bug you about more kids?

Sonadora · March 2013

To me it's almost as bad as the people who used to bug us about having the first.

We have neighbors we see every weekend for a bbq and they have been bugging us nearly every week since B turned about 6 months. It actually causes issues with H and me because he's not totally on board, so when he hears me say firmly that I only want one in response, he gets annoyed and it starts a fight again. And brings back up a topic we agreed to table for another year.

JayandEmm · March 2013

We get a few comments here and there. I imagine it gets worse the older ds gets.

H's Hispanic side of the family asks A LOT. Mainly because it's unheard of to only have one child in their culture.

danieliza1127 · March 2013

I've been asked a few times. It always kills me because I'm thinking, this one is still just a baby, let us get the hang of him before we even think about another one! That's usually what I say to people "well we're still figuring this one out so who knows" or something along those lines. I think our parents get that we're probably only having one and they all seem okay with that.

abs05 · March 2013

Almost never. Family never asks. Friends sometimes do. Strangers sometimes do. I think the fact that I am an only child and the fact that DH and I are older works in our favor. Whenever someone asks we just say we are happy with one and that is the end of it.

bluejetta · March 2013

our family never asks as they know we'll tell them if we have another. I've let my parents know we aren't likely to but I don't know if DH has told anyone -- I'm more convinced then he is. Occasionally friends ask us (the same ones who asked when we'd have #1) and I usually reply with we're enjoying N right now.

robynlesley · March 2013

I did get bugged a bit after DS turned 1, when I was *only* 40. I'd occasionally say "sure, if you're going to support me and the children" and that would easily change the subject.

I think because of my age, I'm not being asked that by people who know how old I am. Most strangers don't ask me, thankfully.

EastCoastBride · March 2013

We get it sometimes, but all in all, I take the question just more of a curiosity thing than anything.

Only once was I ever truly annoyed. We had to go through 5 IVF's to finally have DS (and a few FET's too). It was a long 5 year process, expensive, etc. We tried to talk to my ILs about it twice and both times, they basically blew us off. IT was really quite odd.

But then, after we had DS and he was just a couple months old, FIL actually said "So, when can we expect a 2nd?". It just really pissed me off and after their total disregard of our path to have DS, it was just yet "one more thing" that I felt was insensitive on their part.

Monkeybutt80 · March 2013

I get this all the time! and I am pregnant with my first one! (27 weeks) My family and my hubbie's family both bugged us for years to have a baby (we've been married for 7 years so i understand that they have been waiting a long time). and now that we are pregnant, they started already with the "when's the second one?"

missymo · March 2013

A few annoying neighbors and elderly family members have said all the same old cliche things. My MIL did try to discuss it with my husband but he shut her down.

I haven't heard anything negative in a while though. Hopefully that means message received! I've met quite a few parents of only children recently, so I think it's really becoming more commonplace.

Tink112011 · March 2013

We don't hear it very often, but those close to us know what we're one and done.

My mom, who would LOVE more grandchildren, is very understanding and supportive. She knows that it takes a lot (emotionally, financially) to raise a child.

urbanflowerpot · March 2013

I suspect it becomes more frequent the older they get - we're just about to hit two so I've started to get them.

He looks lonely.

He needs a sister now.

He'll be spoiled.

etc.

I really can't stand the "he looks lonely" sorts of comments. There was something I read the other day that put me down in a hole. Like even though I know it's stupid sometimes they start to gnaw at me.

I don't think family has said anything though. I haven't declared one & done to them but I think they know.

zeptattoo · March 2013

We actually got bugged more about having a second before we were expecting the boy. Once everyone saw the medical issues I had to deal with, they shut up. Even then, my mom still was bugging me until I just exploded one day. Point was made and she hasn't brought it up since.

It is more of the stranger saying "Any more?" and to that I give a chuckle and say "Nope, he is enough for us!" End of discussion.

Ms.Jade · March 2013

I start off just saying that we're only planning on having Eden. If the moron persists, I say quietly that we can't have anymore. That shuts them right up and hopefully will keep them from harassing some other poor soul.

Fianschneid · March 2013

My family never bugged us about kids before DD, so they're pretty good about staying out of it. Our friends know we are finished and have gotten better about not saying anything about only children around us. Mostly, we get comments from people we sort of know. A polite, "DD completed our family" usually ends it.

MelissaInKS86 · March 2013

We have not gotten it too much yet. Our immediate family knows that we will not be having another baby, and it was pretty much dropped after the first time they asked. My husbands family has not asked, but they are not very involved with dd or us. I have a feeling we will get more comments once dd gets older.

Kgirly · March 2013

My friends do and a lot of my husband's coworkers do. My family hints at it often.

"He'll be so lonely," we hear this a lot. I'm very tired of it.

sugarbear0524 · March 2013

Close family and friends don't ask because they know what a struggle it was to have my son. I have heart disease, and had open heart surgery in 2007. I also had 2 small strokes when my son was 7 weeks old. The scar from my heart surgery is quite visible and something that people ask about (and I don't mind sharing the story at all). Once they hear that, I usually don't get many questions.

I will have at least one more heart surgery in the future, and my high risk OB said no more pregnancies. I want my son to have a mommy, and I won't jeopardize that to have another child.

It does make me sad, though, because my son did have a sibling. I lost my first baby at 12 weeks.

luckymrs718 · March 2013

Our family has actually never said a word about us being done. My coworkers on the other hand hound me about it weekly. I've heard everything from "oh you don't want an only child", "she'll be so spoiled", "she needs a brother/sister" to "you'll change your mind." It's a little ridiculous and extremely annoying. DH and I are on the same page and that's all that matters to me. I have just started acting like I don't hear the comments and changing the subject. It's not even worth my time responding anymore. She gets plenty of social interaction with other kids so I'm not concerned. We don't overly spoil her anymore than we would if we had another so I don't really care what everyone else thinks. We're happy and that's all I can ask for.

blue33 · March 2013

EVERY DAY!!!!

canzadalyall · March 2013

Every day! But most people are surprisingly supportive, so that's nice.

katelynb83 · March 2013

I think my coworkers have finally gotten the hint that we are only having one. It took telling all of the nosy people that DH had a vasectomy when Ian was 6 months old (thank god DH will never meet these people) and that I'm not looking for a new husband.

I'm sorry you and your husband aren't on the same page about this. Maybe a counseling session or two would help you guys talk it through? Or just keep putting it off until it's too late to have another one.

eyenigh · March 2013

2013mommy:
Some of my family members started asking me when we were having another while I was still pregnant! When I told them we were just having one I would either be met with "Oh, you'll change your mind" or "He'll be so lonely as an only child!". It is annoying to have people tell you that you don't really know what you want or that you are somehow doing your child a disservice by not giving them siblings.

I had this experience mostly with my co-workers. It was relentless. My worst offender was a woman that had one son in jail and a teen daughter with two of her own kids but would travel two floors down to my office to give me child rearing advice and tell me to have more kids. She was a wonderful role model.

musiclover0007 · March 2013

No one yet. However, neither one of us are in our careers yet and we are still saving up to get a house. I'm a stay a home mom for my 5 1/2 months old and on a wait list to become certified as a radiographer. My husband manages a grocery store and is just about to go to school to become a diesel mechanic. So financially it wouldn't make since and I think others know that.

angelashly · March 2013

We get asked all.the.time. I get so irritated by it. I know they aren't meaning it in a bad way, but really Marissa isn't enough?

we get the whole oh she is going to be so spoiled or lonely speech from his mom and our friends.

I also get (and this one is my favorite and it stings) How can you not want another child. As if there is something wrong with us for only wanting one kid.

My sister has 4, his sister has 2, and our friends have 4 so we are the minority, but I am happy with my 1.

lily_721 · March 2013

We announced our pregnancy as "after so much waiting and praying, Baby B will arrive in June and will complete our family." No one really says much about it to us. We have been fairly open about our struggles with IF and we have SSs who are older (17 and 19) and DH is older.

kristennd · March 2013

We get a lot of grief from one of DH's aunts, in the vein of it's evil to deprive a child of a sibling, but everyone else leaves us alone. I'm sure it helps that I'm 42.

SheLovesMrHip · March 2013

All. The.Time!!!! And even to people who I have told my health stories to. They roll their eyes and say I will want another. Ummmm unless they carry my kid thats a heeelllllz no!!!

notkateanymore · March 2013

People have asked me if we're going to have more, but nobody has ever bugged me really. Never bothered me. I mean, I wonder why they have 4, just like they wonder why I have one.

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