Is this valid?

Re: Is this valid?

• [Deleted User] member

  March 2013

  I say, pick your battles. If your MIL were leaving your DD in the playpen all day and not interacting, yeah that would be an issue. But just letting her nap there? Not a big deal.

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• FemShep member

  March 2013

  Unless there is a safety issue (like having the playpen in an open area where a pet can jump in), let it go.  It really doesn't matter, and if you don't trust your MIL to responsibly care for your LO no matter where LO naps, you should probably find other care.

  

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• 1026pumpkin member

  March 2013

  Do you have any other reason for not wanting the PNP in the living room other than worrying she'll be in there all day?  I wouldn't worry about it if she's only in there for naps or if MIL needs a safe place to set her down while going to the bathroom, etc.

  I would talk with MIL and let her know what (if any) your reasons are for not wanting her in the living room and find out why she wants it in there.  If it's just a matter of hearing her, maybe you could buy her a monitor?

  Either way, it seems like a pretty small issue and I'd just let it go. 

  ;

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• aeh72 member

  March 2013

  Aside from the PNP being in the living room impacting how well you DD naps, I actually think it's not a bad idea to have the PNP nearby where they spend most of the day.  Your MIL may actually need to put DD in there for a few minutes at at time when she gets bottles ready, needs to run to the restroom, and things like that. It may make her feel more comfortable to know your DD is safely in the PNP nearby during those occasions.

  If you're worried DD spents too much time in the PNP, just spend some time during drop off or pick asking MIL what they did during the day. Don't be overly scrutinizing about it, but just use it as an opportunity to talk about DD and how things are going for your MIL watching her.

  

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• silvie25mar member

  March 2013

  You guys are right. I know I can't micromanage but I'm having difficulties with control. I like to be in control and know everything. And I'm slowly realizing that I can't be that way anymore especially because I have to work now, I guess I need to learn to accept some things that don't hurt and let them go.

  

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• KathrynMD member

  March 2013

  Let it go - we had a PNP in our LR until DD was ~15/16 months old.

  

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• SCtoDC

  March 2013

  I was very specific with our nanny about where DS was to nap - in his crib, in his room, from day 1.  This was important to me because DS had been STN in his crib since 7 weeks and I didn't want to mess with his idea of 'this is where I sleep, by myself, without anyone else in the room." 

  So, if it were me I'd say something because of that.

  Also, if you want your LO on a specific schedule (consistant nap times/lengths) I would think that being away from the action would help with that.  We always leave the radio on for ambient/changing noise, but I think doing dishes or someone knocking on the door would wake him.

  ,

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• Starbear06 member

  March 2013

  EllaHella:

  Control and micromanaging is even harder when friends or family are involved.nbsp;

  
  This is so true. This is why we don't have family watching DS on a regular basis.
  I am sure your MIL is not leaving DD in there all the time. She probably feels more comfortable with having her close by. As long as it is not interrupting her nap because of the noise level or what not then I would let it go.
  But I completely understand your urge to control everything. I am the same way but you get used to it as time goes on. And you learn that you can't control everything and you have to pick your battles wisely especially with family and particularly the inlaws.

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• Netty_3 member

  March 2013

  Honestly, it doesn't seem like a big deal.  It may be hard for you letting go of that control and that's why you're upset.  Maybe she's afrad she won't hear her or something, or feels more comfortable being able to see her at all times.  She may be trying to do what she thinks is best. Better than going every two minutes to the room to check on her.

  

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• hoping4sticky member

  March 2013

  SCtoDC:

  I was very specific with our nanny about where DS was to nap - in his crib, in his room, from day 1.  This was important to me because DS had been STN in his crib since 7 weeks and I didn't want to mess with his idea of 'this is where I sleep, by myself, without anyone else in the room." 

  So, if it were me I'd say something because of that.

  Also, if you want your LO on a specific schedule (consistant nap times/lengths) I would think that being away from the action would help with that.  We always leave the radio on for ambient/changing noise, but I think doing dishes or someone knocking on the door would wake him.

  My DD has been a fabulous sleeper - putting self to sleep 7-7 at 6 months naps 2-3 hours has only gotten up at night a handful of times in 2 years, and she has napped around noise at daycare since 12 weeks. She has never gotten confused about not sleeping in her room 100% of the time. I actually think it has helped her learn to sleep better, if the dog barks while she is sleeping it doesn't wake her up. Some kids may eventually need quiet to sleep, but most young babies do not, unless that is what you get them used to.

  Unless it is a health/safety/developmental issue I would leave it be, and since it is actually safer to have your MIL have eyes on your LO while she sleeps I would let it go.

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• legalbeagle1 member

  March 2013

  Agreed that unless it is a health/safety/development issue I'd let it go.  That being said, if you want more control over what happens during the day I would pay a nanny or send your LO to daycare.  I'm not saying that having free childcare makes it less right for you to have control, but it does make it more difficult with family probably.  But I also let a lot of things go with my nanny because she loves him, tries to do what's right and keeps him safe and happy and that's a lot.

  

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• Leap08 member

  March 2013

  EllaHella:

  You can't micromanage your MIL's babysitting. 

  Also, our pack n play stayed in our living room until DS outgrew it.  I really don't see the issue at all. 

  This! Our pack n play was in our living room until DD2 was at least 9 months. It was handy to have it there. I'd put her in it if I had to run to the bathroom or go upstairs for a minute. She also napped really well in there for a long time. 
  

  

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• DiveFrog member

  March 2013

  My Mom and Dad watch DD and we just put the PNP in our living room for them because at 9 months she has really upped her mobility level. My parents need a safe place to put her when they go to the bathroom, or change over a load of laundry, make lunch etc.

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• LoCarb member

  March 2013

  I don't see an issue at all. If this is really a concern for you, I suggest stop using family as your DCP - it can hurt your relationship.
  

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• silvie25mar member

  March 2013

  Thanks guys

  

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