Stinky kid in class

Babybabybabyohhhhhhh · March 2013

So I am an elementary school teacher and one of my students smells SO BAD. I have been documenting the odor for about a month now, and today was seriously the worst it has ever been.
About a month ago I sent her to the nurse bc I just couldn't take the smell any longer. The nurse called home and her parents got very defensive.

Last week and the week before, I informed the nurse again of the odor. She basically told me its my problem now and I have to call home and deal with it myself. Umm... No. Your job as a school nurse is to help out in these situations, especially if it gets worse.
The nurse nor the school counselor are doing anything to help me out here.
I'm totally at a loss. It smells horrible in my classroom, and it makes me feel so sick. By the end of the day I have a terrible headache and I just want to get the heck outta there.
Today I tried opening a window, but all the kids complained about how cold it was so I ended up closing it.
And the worst part is, this kid decides that she wants to sit DIRECTLY in front of me every time we are on the carpet learning. I'm gonna have to make assigned carpet seats now which really sucks because my class is so awesome, they don't really need assigned carpet seats.

I'm at such a loss as of what to do about this.
Thanks for reading my long vent.

ilovetolaugh · March 2013

I'm not a teacher, but I am a parent. I think I would want to hear your concerns about my child.

emilyanne829 · March 2013

I can't believe what kind of parents he must have that they would just completely ignore the problem of their kid smelling that bad! ...I guess the kind that would have a stinky kid in the first place...

I remember when I was in sixth grade, my teacher had a talk with the whole class about the importance of showering daily & the use of deoderant. Maybe if you did this it would inspire the child to do a little bit of that for himself?

OpheliaChem · March 2013

Geez! We always tell our nurse when kids stink. I teach high school and they have some serious body issues going on! They don't shower, don't wear deodorant, smell like pee, etc. We tell the nurse and she talks to the student. Of course, its easier with older kids. How awful that the nurse/counselors won't help you! I would be hesitant to call home because, although some parents would want to hear that and be receptive, plenty of parents would be jerks to you (thinking its not your place to tell them such things about their kids). Especially after the nurse got a poor response from the parents. Could you say something to the principal?

krose0713 · March 2013

If the little girl has an odor due to being unclean, and you think there is a neglect issue there, you should definitely pursue it, and bring it to the higher administration if the nurse won't help. If she is just a smelly girl, you should just try to suck it up, as hard as that may be. If the girl has an interest in learning and wants to be near you, is it really fair to move her away? The poor girl is probably going to get bullied and teased at some point if she smells that bad, does she really need her teacher discriminating against her too? I am not trying to be snarky at all! I work with special needs children, and I deal with bowel movements, vomit, saliva, and many other unpleasant bodily fluids throughout the day. It's not fun and definitely really hard to handle sometimes, but I have to remember it's not the kids' fault, and I care about them way too much to treat them any differently.

Babybabybabyohhhhhhh · March 2013

Parents have definitely heard my concerns. I've emailed, called, and sent letters home. It's just gotten worse and I feel I have no support.
The kid is a sweetheart so I'm in no way complaining about her, just the smell. We all know how much smells can get to us right now...

ilovetolaugh · March 2013

emilyanne829:
I remember when I was in sixth grade, my teacher had a talk with the whole class about the importance of showering daily & the use of deoderant. Maybe if you did this it would inspire the child to do a little bit of that for himself?

This is a fantastic idea!

ilovetolaugh · March 2013

Babybabybabyohhhhhhh:
Parents have definitely heard my concerns. I've emailed, called, and sent letters home. It's just gotten worse and I feel I have no support. The kid is a sweetheart so I'm in no way complaining about her, just the smell. We all know how much smells can get to us right now...

Sorry, in your OP I thought you said that you weren't going to talk to her family as that was the nurse and councilor's job.

kakhmama · March 2013

krose0713:
If the little girl has an odor due to being unclean, and you think there is a neglect issue there, you should definitely pursue it, and bring it to the higher administration if the nurse won't help.

If she is just a smelly girl, you should just try to suck it up, as hard as that may be. If the girl has an interest in learning and wants to be near you, is it really fair to move her away? The poor girl is probably going to get bullied and teased at some point if she smells that bad, does she really need her teacher discriminating against her too?

I am not trying to be snarky at all! I work with special needs children, and I deal with bowel movements, vomit, saliva, and many other unpleasant bodily fluids throughout the day. It's not fun and definitely really hard to handle sometimes, but I have to remember it's not the kids' fault, and I care about them way too much to treat them any differently.

Awwwe...I feel the same way, bless her heart that mom and dad don't care any more for her than that. Breaks my heart she sounds like a sweet girl. Maybe bring some bath and body works lotion and let her put some on her hands and arms ... Make her feel special but help mask it if parents won't help?

Eta...total quote fail...I hate mobile bumping lol. My response is in the middle of her quote and I can't move it gahhh!

smilormarie · March 2013

I would have concerns for neglect or abuse and report it. There may be a reason why the parents got defensive. Kids don't even have to have a bathe every day to stay clean. A couple times a week even would be hygienic.

daileym · March 2013

I think the counselor should be stepping in here. There is obviously some form of neglect happening if she smells that bad. Poor thing. I'm guessing the playground is probably a rough place for that little girl, and if it isn't yet, it will be soon.

Babybabybabyohhhhhhh · March 2013

ilovetolaugh:
Babybabybabyohhhhhhh:
Parents have definitely heard my concerns. I've emailed, called, and sent letters home. It's just gotten worse and I feel I have no support.
The kid is a sweetheart so I'm in no way complaining about her, just the smell. We all know how much smells can get to us right now...
Sorry, in your OP I thought you said that you weren't going to talk to her family as that was the nurse and councilor's job. 

No it's ok I didn't mention it in my OP, I did make it seem like I didn't want to make contact so that was my bad!

zoieglow · March 2013

What do the parents say when you talk to them? Is she visibly dirty or just smelly? What is the smell like? Like, is it obviously a poor hygiene situation or could it be a medical condition?

Babybabybabyohhhhhhh · March 2013

The tone gets hostile and almost to the point of yelling, and they say that it isn't our place to say that their kid stinks.

She just smells dirty, kind of like pee mixed with sweat and stinky shoes.

ilovetolaugh · March 2013

Babybabybabyohhhhhhh:
The tone gets hostile and almost to the point of yelling, and they say that it isn't our place to say that their kid stinks. She just smells dirty, kind of like pee mixed with sweat and stinky shoes.

That is so unfair of the parents. Are there any other weird things going on with her?

Babybabybabyohhhhhhh · March 2013

Nothing else weird going on. She is super smart and always participating, and has lots of friends. No one has started making fun of her for the smell so that is good. Although I'm thinking someone other than myself needs to tell her. I'm starting to think it would help if she heard it from one of her classmates. I just hope it gets better before it gets to that point. I don't want her to go through getting made fun of.

zoieglow · March 2013

If she just smells gross and seems well groomed otherwise, maybe it is a medical condition. There is one that makes you smell terrible, I can't remember what it's called, but it has no other effects. It may explain why they're so hostile if they are bathing their kid every day and she still smells.

Otherwise they are just handling this really badly I guess. I don't know what else you can do here. I like the idea of taking some time to teach about personal hygiene. How else could you escalate this? Can you talk to the principal or some other teachers and get ideas?

I feel for you, what an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved.

Oh, does the nurse agree that she smells bad? Could it just be your super spidey pregnancy nose if the other kids aren't noticing it?

lifeissweet0703 · March 2013

How old is this girl? Do they (students) know you are pregnant? If she is old enough you could try to talk to her privately and explain that because you are pregnant you are VERY sensitive to odours and importance of bathing and feeling 'fresh'... put a positive spin on it and focus on how much she would be helping you because of your situation (rather than focusing on it being her issue) so you won't make her feel as bad.

I don't know, I'm not a school teacher so could be way off on some important aspect here but seems like the other alternatives aren't working and probably wouldn't be a concern that she would bring it up to her parents since they are so hands off that they don't bath their kid.

kelizr · March 2013

That should absolutely be a school nurse issue. Our school nurse deals with all of that. I know some teachers have on their own helped these kids out. Talked to them, gotten them deoderant etc.. I know in my friends building, they actually gave the child a bath and clean clothes twice a week. I think it totally depends on the home life. If it's a child who's parents are involved and make heads roll., then simply share your concerns. If its one of those families, where it is ashame that the child is dealing with the circumstances, I would personally help that child at at school. It all depends. I fortunately, only have had problems when kids get sweaty. I instead, have other nasty habits with 2 of mine this year! Ugh!

Babybabybabyohhhhhhh · March 2013

Thanks for the comments everyone. I think I will do a lesson about personal hygiene and the importance of it.
It could very well be a medical condition. It would be nice if the parents were more understanding about the situation though.

I have an AA in my classroom for another student, and I co teach with a special educator for math. They have both noticed it too. Walking down the hallway other teachers notice it, and so do the special area teachers gym, art, music, etc.
I might mention it to my principal since I have no other support in the school, unfortunately.

lindsayponce · March 2013

I'm an elementary school counselor....your SC should definitely be helping you out on this. There's no easy answers in these types of situations but the counselor should at least be collaborating with you to help you out with the problem. If he/she is blowing you off and not helping whatsoever, that SC is definitely not doing their job in the best interest of the student so that makes me sad....get on that counselor! or ask the principal to talk to them, so they will help you maybe? Sorry you're in a pickle; hope that it gets resolved!

tbw8664 · March 2013

If you're concerned about neglect of her hygiene maybe contact child services and have them go to the house and investigate that everything is ok for the child's well being and health.

SaraSKC · March 2013

Are her clothes clean? It could be a poverty issue. Not enough money to wash clothes or to bathe regularly enough?

You haven't mentioned age of kids (unless I missed it) but urine smell past pre-school concerns me. I am a therapist working with kids who have been sexually abused and bed wetting/peeing pants can be an indicator of sexual abuse. A pretty big indicator. Your school counselor should be aware of that and should be willing to meet with her and check in about her home life.

LnR70707 · March 2013

I think talking to the principal is a good idea. This poor little girl needs help before the other kids do notice.

avn0306 · March 2013

It could be so many things. Talk to your principal and, if you have one, your school resource officer. Instead of singling the student out they could come by and observe the whole class. It may take a call to social services and some very angry parents. However if she is smelly from neglect or an undiagnosed medical condition it could save her a lot of heart ache down the road. Also I would wipe down her area with a vinegar solution after school is out. I use it for pet odors.

rayandbrit · March 2013

How heartbreaking, I'm happy that she has you fighting for her. Please continue to push the issue with your school counselors, nurse, etc. I'm so happy to hear she hasn't been picked on thus far, and am hopeful it's something that can be resolved before that starts.

I think hygiene lessons for the whole class are a great idea, GL!

achadwick19 · March 2013

SaraSKC:
Are her clothes clean? It could be a poverty issue. Not enough money to wash clothes or to bathe regularly enough?
You haven't mentioned age of kids (unless I missed it) but urine smell past pre-school concerns me. I am a therapist working with kids who have been sexually abused and bed wetting/peeing pants can be an indicator of sexual abuse. A pretty big indicator. Your school counselor should be aware of that and should be willing to meet with her and check in about her home life.

Yeah, the pee smell is definitely concerning. Hope you can help this little girl!

Babybabybabyohhhhhhh · March 2013

Our school counselor is the laziest person in the world. She does NOTHING. It's so sad. She was in my classroom today doing an observation of another child, and she told me she could smell it!! Yet, she didn't do anything or say anything helpful.
The student is 7 years old. I know they come from a tough living situation. I'm going to inform the principal tomorrow for sure.

1026pumpkin · March 2013

We had a girl like this in my class in third grade. It turned out her family was on Welfare and didn't have access to washing machines and she didn't have many clothes.

I would go to the principal and see if they can escalate this for you since the nurse and counselor aren't willing. Are there any facilities at school where she could take a shower, like the gym locker room or nurses's office, before or after school. Maybe there is a way to provide her with a place to bathe and assistance getting clean clothes.

schjlh07 · March 2013

If she smells like pee but looks relatively clean it could be that she has bad bathroom hygiene. She might not be wiping herself dry all the way and then her underwear and maybe pants are getting pee on them. Happened with a neighborhood girl at my sitters when I was in elementary school.

missmuffin87 · March 2013

This is really concerning and I think it's at the point that the school counselor should be taking over and making the decisions about if CPS needs to be called. The SC is not doing her job if she unwilling to step in. Please talk to your principal!

It's also very concerning that the parents are defensive and hostile when you've tried to talk to them. If it was possibly a medical problem, then you would think they would share in your concern. I highly doubt that is the case and think there is probably something serious going on. Please do not let other school employees or the administration brush this off. You can always call CPS yourself, though it is best to have administration on board.

Luckymomma4 · March 2013

I would definitely want to know if my child smelled bad on a daily basis. Especially, to the point where it fills up the entire room and is disruptive to you being able to do your job. I feel bad for that child. Other kids around her have to notice and might start bullying her because of it.

Danielle0617 · March 2013

I am an elementary school teacher as well and a couple of years ago I had a situation with a girl in my class and hygiene. At first it wasn't so bad , but as time went on she began to smell so bad that daily she had to change her uniform in the nurse's office. I contacted the parents and they always apologized and made excuses- then they would send her the next day smelling like Febreeze sprayed over the bad odor. My guidance counselor did get involved because there were 4 of them in the family and other teachers were seeing the same things. Basically, DCF got involved and close to a year later they were taken away from their parents (there was more to it than just the bad odor situation). It breaks my heart to hear stories like this because I have seen it first hand and I know how hard you must be trying as a teacher. Your school counselor needs to step in- it may not be a severe situation like I saw, but you just never know. Good luck- you're doing the right thing.

EMLYNNLERETTE · March 2013

SaraSKC:
Are her clothes clean? It could be a poverty issue. Not enough money to wash clothes or to bathe regularly enough? You haven't mentioned age of kids unless I missed it but urine smell past preschool concerns me. I am a therapist working with kids who have been sexually abused and bed wetting/peeing pants can be an indicator of sexual abuse. A pretty big indicator. Your school counselor should be aware of that and should be willing to meet with her and check in about her home life.

I'm not an expert, but I have dealt with sexual abuse as a child and knew two others when I was young. While I don't feel that I ever smelled, my first thought of the pee smell was also sexual abuse. The two others always carried a very foul pee smell.

VitaLuna · March 2013

If no one else at your school can/will help and you're at a roadblock with the family, I may pull the girl aside sometime and ask her about her home situation (how often do you get to shower? do you get to wear clean clothes every day? where do you do your laundry? etc.) If you approach it in a friendly get-to-know you way, hopefully she won't feel bad about it. If it seems like needs aren't getting met at home and no one else will help you, I would call DHS/CPS.

A referral is not always punitive.. sometimes it's a matter of getting that person connected to the resources they need by someone in a position of authority. The people I've reported in the past were not because they were bad people or abusive, but because they could not care for their child in the best way because they didn't have the reources/education/motivation.

I don't know what you're comfortable with, but I personally tell people when I'm referring/reporting them to DHS, and I generally think it's a good thing to do. Typically the conversation with the parent goes, "I know you're trying your best, and I know things are difficult for you right now. I have concerns about xyz, and I want to make sure you get the help you need to fix the issue. I have referred you to DHS/CPS, and they will be in contact with you."

GL... that must be a rough situation, especially with no one backing you up.

sprocketsmom · March 2013

This makes me so sad for that little girl. I hope you are able to help her out. As a parent I can't understand getting upset over something like that, I would want to know. But usually parents like that don't care and that's why the kids are in that situation in the first place.

kimberlymacrae · March 2013

Two words. Fabreeze misters. Problem solved!!!

AngelMommy11211 · March 2013

I agree that she's probably wetting the bed. My son started that after his brother died, thankfully only occasionally. He's pretty pokey in the morning and I usually do a sponge bath when it happens. If I was told he still stunk, I'd be horrified and do something about it!! We've been through rough times as well. I have even washed clothes in the bathtub to save on laundry. When there's a will there's a way. Do they seem poor? My guess is the bed wetting since its pee smell. Or she isn't wiping when she pees. I would talk to the principle since the parents and others aren't being cooperative. Maybe a cps visit is in order.

CNS1212 · March 2013

Teaching 7th grade, I have my share of stinky kiddos...but there is one in particular who is stinky 3 out of the 5 days of school. I've had the social worker talk to him and his parents, but he is a foster kid and issues aren't always addressed at home. I feel bad

But I do purposely put his desk away from my desk, especially now with my super sensitive smell.

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