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December 2010 Moms
kat81again2
member
babysitter advice (long) - UPDATED
kat81again2
member
Edited/responding to posts:
Hi everyone - thank you for your responses. I'm hoping I've described the situation well because if I did, it's a huge relief to me actually that you don't think this is a big deal. The woman is older and did raise children and has babysit other people, but she claimed that this is the first time something like this has happened to her. I'd think with her level of experience she'd know how to better handle the situation, but if other moms are chill about it I'm willing to be chill. The entire thing was told second hand to me from DH and he had already put the negative spin on everything. If I had been the one to walk in the door I might have been more stressed over the clean-up than he is, but I think I would have been less judgmental of the babysitter. DH is generally less chill about this kind of thing (though honestly he's sometimes the voice of reason/safety when I'm a bit on the lax side.) Also it makes me happy that at least one of you admitted to having had a similar thing happen to YOU! So basically you gave me the responses I wanted. THANK YOU! Oh and great suggestions as well (I have no problems with skipping the bath; though this could just as easily happen with a diaper change since the poop was in his room...but whatever makes her job easier is fine by me.)
Original post:
We've hired a weekly babysitter to pick DS up on Mondays from daycare, feed him dinner, bathe him, and put him to bed if necessary before DH comes home. I work Monday nights but no other nights of the week; normally I pick up DS from daycare because DH usually doesn't get home until closer to 7 (around bedtime).
Last night we had an incident with the sitter (L) and neither of us feels good about it. DH came home and DS ran through the hallway naked to greet him. He had poop streaming down his leg. L was stressed and said that DS pooped after the bath. She was like, "you're home just in time!"
The thing is, poop was on the rug in his bedroom and on at least one of his toys from the bedroom as well. And she had started to clean off the toy because it was in the bathroom on a towel. DH also found her trying to clean the rug.
DH took charge and told L to clean off DS thoroughly and dress him for bed. DH meanwhile worked on the rug in the basement. Then DH put DS to bed while L just left.
After L left, after DH had put DS to bed, DH discovered the toy in the bathroom with poop on it sitting on a towel, and L had not mentioned this.
It's not that big of a deal that this happened at all, but L handled it so poorly. Oh, and even though DH said he asked her multiple times if she was really thorough in cleaning DS, when I changed DS this morning there was a little bit of poop there...and it was extremely unlikely he had pooped again (it was a small amount, but enough that you're crazy not to have noticed it.)
1) why wasn't the bathroom door shut during the bath aftermath? Why wouldn't you think to get him dressed in the bathroom?
2) if he did escape and poop in the bedroom on the floor, why did she start cleaning that up before cleaning HIM up and putting him in a diaper?
3) why didn't she mention everything to DH, like the toy with poop on it sitting in the bathroom?
4) why did she let DS run through the house naked and poopy when DH showed up?
It just seemed so...not smart! I'm no genius with children but this is just kind of a logistical thing! I really don't care if I get poop in my house again because of a babysitter screw-up. It's just that stuff like this makes you wonder if she's going to keep him safe...the same problem that leads to running around poopy is the same problem that leads to DS turning on the stove or jumping head first into a full bath or something totally dangerous.
I told DH that he should call L and talk her through what happened, our concerns, etc. And we also agreed to give her more direction/guidance. I think DH wants to fire her but we don't really have another option. It's too much for DH to come back home early every Monday. I also think this maybe isn't a fire-able offense if she seems responsive to feedback. But we're not happy about it. :-( Any thoughts other than doing this phone call with her? Would you try to get a new sitter?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: babysitter advice (long) - UPDATED
I'm with you on this. I don't think this is a total fireable offense, especially because she seems relatively new? Does she have kids? I usually dress Alexander downstairs in our living room after bath so I don't think it's that weird that she took him to the bedroom. I would just say something about the logistics that you think would have been proper and if she seems like "Oh thank you for the advice! I wasn't expecting him to poop so fast before I got the diaper on!" then I would just let it go. Also, she probably panicked about the rug and stuff first because kids are more easily cleanable haha. I would make it clear that poop on stuff isn't totally a big deal, just mention it and try to clean it AFTER the baby is all taken care of.
I don't know. It's hard, because someone is in your home with your child, and if you will never feel comfortable again, it's not worth it. But if you feel it was just a little wierd, maybe wait it out and see how thigns go for the next month.
sorry for typos, baby in arms
How old is she? Young? She probably just panicked... especially if it was her first poop fiasco.
I let my kid streak after baths and we get dressed in the bedroom, so not containing him seems normal to me. Not cleaning the KID first is weird, but I can see scooping up the poopy objects first to keep him out of them. I bet she just panicked.
I would give her a chance to tell you what happened before straight up firing her. Personally, I think that yes, cleaning and diapering LO covered in poop should be priority one (especially considering more poop maybe coming out at any moment if she interrupted him midway through,) but I can see where a series of minor mess up could compound to that chaos. So, let her tell you her side and use that to determine if she really is making terrible decisions or if she was just having a bad night.
FFC? there was one night where DH could have come home from work and seen DD and I in a pretty similar state. I let DD have a few minutes of naked time so I could drain the bath and pick up toys only to discover in that 3 minutes she?d pooped in 2 places in the living room and stepped on it.
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I guess none of this would phase me but maybe not telling you there was a poopy toy in the bathroom.
My kid has never pooped in the bath, but I would honestly freak and not immediately get a handle on the situation. My first instinct would be to lift her out of the poopy tub, at which point she would escape out the bathroom door, and then there would be poop somewhere while I chased her down. I don't have the materials in our bathroom to deal with a poopy child, I would have to go to her room to get them, and if she were covered in poop too, I wouldn't want to carry her and I also wouldn't leave her in the bathroom alone because she would likely climb back into tub with the poopy water draining and thats a.) dangerous and b.) gross.
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Yes, I agree with this. It didn't seem weird or abnormal to me.
I don't think what she did was that bad, but it also depends on her side of the story. If she's never dealt with this before and just kind of panicked, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and make sure she learned what to do next time. If you really can't trust her judgment after this, then I think it's best to let her go. You need to know your DS is in good hands.
#1 - As long as she was properly supervising DS, I don't think it's a big deal that she left the door open. We bathe DS in our master bath, then walk him over to his bedroom to dress him.
#2 - She really should have cleaned him up 1st! But like PP pointed out, maybe this was her first poop emergency and she panicked.
#3 - Maybe she just forgot in the aftermath of everything that was going on. I would make sure she knows that the next time you need full disclosure.
#4 - This goes back to #2. She should have cleaned him up and not let him run around all poopy.
Honestly, I think you're overreacting. None of this is a big deal to me. I would actually feel guilty that this happened to the poor girl. She's just trying to get your kid ready for bed and he poops on the rug. It could happen to anyone. And it's not her house or her kid, so she's not exactly sure what you would want her to clean first. And then your H walks in and she feels embarrassed that she hasn't finished cleaning up and gets flustered and forgets all about the toy in the bathroom.
Cut her some slack, she's just a one night a week babysitter. There's really no need for a toddler to take a bath every single night. Can you have her skip the bath and just wipe off his face, hands and feet with a wash cloth at the sink?
Agree with pps. I think something like this could happen to anyone. She was probably a little overwhelmed, and maybe a little flustered at getting caught mid-clean-up.
If this is really the only issue you've had with her, I'd probably let it go. If you just have an overall bad feeling or were already questioning whether she was adequately supervising, then maybe you or your H are looking for a reason to make a change?