Pre-School and Daycare
NJLH
member
Options
Whats your discipline plan these days?
NJLH
member
My girls have been getting away with crap lately (4 yrs)...I need a plan to stick with. There have been tantrums,which include kicking and hitting me. I feel like putting them in time out or taking away toys just fuels the fire and leads to a further screamfest. I'm going to take 123 Magic out of the library. What else is effective for 4 year olds? Thanks!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Whats your discipline plan these days?
Do you find them very sensitive children or just simply strong willed?
https://www.teach-through-love.com/
We are new to the positive parenting thing - first discovered it through the link above and it is just such a breath of fresh air. And as a psych major/nerd - it just makes sense!!
Before that we were doing the "love and logic" which is okay but just felt to fake and hard for me. And it's all about modifying behavior.... whereas my new parenting goal is to help my kids become emotionally healthy adults.
use 123 magic along with Love and Logic parenting the early years. Another great book is Have a new kid by friday.. I know it sounds like alot to read but all 3 are Terrific books!!!! Also go onto the Love and Logic website and there is a link to classes/seminars and there is an online webinar for $40 which has been previously recorded from a live session that teaches parents how to deal with any kind of tantrums and meltdowns in stores etc. I remember when my son was little i was trying to find out what books to read etc.. and just about everyone has told me to read love and logic along with 123 magic.
https://www.loveandlogic.com/ecom/p-485-love-and-logic-solutions-for-early-childhood-on-demand-webinar.aspx
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Logic-Magic-Early-Childhood/dp/1930429002/ref=sr_1_1?s=textbooks-trade-in&ie=UTF8&qid=1362778650&sr=1-1&keywords=love+and+logic+magic+for+early+childhood
We have the same combo going on in our house
I've found I have to be much harder than I'd like to be in order to get through to her. She has tantrums in her room by herself. The most helpful tip from 1-2-3 Magic I cling to is to not get emotional. I take it personally when DD isn't obeying, but can't show her that because it fuels her fire to get any sort of reaction out of me.
I'm learning not to take her disobedience personally, too. She's not an extension of me, she's an individual learning how to interact with the world and I'm here to guide her in that.
DS is very strong willed.
We have picked out zero-tolerance rules (no yelling/hitting). As soon as it happens there isn't a warning, just a timeout. We have a Thinking Chair in a corner of the dining room, and he will sit there for three minutes (1min per year). When we are out and he does that, I tell him we will be going home and he will go into the thinking chair...I also try not to make long days anymore for him. Early morning food shops, etc. are the best for him, so I work our schedule around that.
Yesterday he was pretty cranky after a long day out, so instead of listening to the whining, I told him that he sounded like he needs a little cool down time in his room to play quietly. I put his white noise fan on, and it really helped him calm down.
Make sure you pick your battles with them. Give them choices, however find out what rules you will not tolerate. It takes some time to get them used to the new rules, but it works.
Some days are better than others though. We all have cranky/moody days, except their don't have the emotional maturity to cope with their feelings like we do - and even we aren't perfect sometimes.
We will have a bad day maybe 2x per month.