Babysitting a 4 month old and need some help.

EMunion777 · March 2013

I'm going crazy and don't know what to do. I just want to cry. I have a toddler and I never had her screaming and crying like this. I've been babysitting my cousins 4 month old and she said she wants me to feed him 6 oz every 4 hours. I've told her that he gets upset sooner. Could I just feed him sooner. She told me to try to hold off.

This is what I don't understand. If my daughter was upset and nothing else made her happy, I fed her. Even if it wasn't on schedule. She ate every 3-4 hours. Not 4 hours on the dot. If she was still upset she got more food. She was never over weight and she was always a very happy baby.

Today I went ahead and fed him at 3 hours. I had no idea what else to do because he was screaming. And it's like clockwork. If he isn't napping at the 3 hour mark, he wants to eat. I didn't want to over step my boundries or upset the first time mom by saying something but he ALWAYS seems hungry sooner and it always seems to not be enough for him. Would it be wrong of me to say something? How could I say it without sounding like a smart***? But i'm losing it over here, trying not to cry. If I can't say anything or if saying something does no good, I don't think i'll be able to babysit anymore.

My toddler gets overly upset when he gets that upset. If he fusses we're fine, but the hungry cry is pretty bad. And myself being pregnant is freaking me out and bringing me chest pains. Help?

mamaHippo23 · March 2013

There is nothing wrong with being on a slightly different schedule while he's with you. You are the caregiver during that time and keeping your sanity is the most important thing to everyone's well-being. Personally I think waiting 4 hrs. in between feedings is way too long for a 4 month old. Especially if the baby seems hungry sooner. I would move the feedings up to every 2.5-3 hrs. and see if that helps. Follow his hungry cues and feed him when you feel it's appropriate.

Most babies have different schedules at daycare or babysitter's vs. at home with mommy. It's probably easier for his mom to distract him or whatever she means by "hold him off" because he's at home with familiar surroundings. You don't necessarily have to do that if it's making things difficult for you. I am not saying go against the mother's wishes, but I think this is something that can be negotiated. I would also like to say that you are a saint for watching a 4month old, in addition to your own toddler, while pregnant. Please don't stress yourself out too much!

EMunion777 · March 2013

Thank you so much. It feels good to know someone doesn't think i'm in the wrong. lol. I figured babysitting would help my daughter get used to another baby being around. She started out really jealous the first week or 2 but now she loves him (as long as he isn't screaming). She wants to share her toys and give him kisses and hugs. It's adorable. I think it's going to make it a lot easier for her when her baby brother or sister comes along. And it's good practice for me too. I'm already freaking out about how difficult this is going to be. lol. But i'm hoping that i'll get used to it by August.

TheEditor · March 2013

mamaHippo23:
There is nothing wrong with being on a slightly different schedule while he's with you. You are the caregiver during that time and keeping your sanity is the most important thing to everyone's well-being. Personally I think waiting 4 hrs. in between feedings is way too long for a 4 month old. Especially if the baby seems hungry sooner. I would move the feedings up to every 2.5-3 hrs. and see if that helps. Follow his hungry cues and feed him when you feel it's appropriate.
Most babies have different schedules at daycare or babysitter's vs. at home with mommy. It's probably easier for his mom to distract him or whatever she means by "hold him off" because he's at home with familiar surroundings. You don't necessarily have to do that if it's making things difficult for you. I am not saying go against the mother's wishes, but I think this is something that can be negotiated. I would also like to say that you are a saint for watching a 4month old, in addition to your own toddler, while pregnant. Please don't stress yourself out too much!

Totally agree.

FreshBakedBrownies · March 2013

I have a 3 1/2 month old DS. If he's awake, NO WAY would he put up with waiting 4 hours to eat! I've also noticed on daycare days he eats more than I would have guessed. Somewhere I read babies might replace the bottle with comfort nursing they would do if mom was with them, and end up drinking/needing more. Does the mom BF? Can you try a pacifier? Either way, I'd want my son to be fed more than every 4 hours if he was crying and acting hungry!

EMunion777 · March 2013

She only provides us with enough food for 2 feedings (he is with me for 6 hours) and I am to feed him at 10 and 2. Today he ate at 9 and 12. I couldn't wait around and let him cry. He's been crying most of the day. There isn't a pacifier in the bag ever but i've seen her give him one several times so I washed one of my daughters old ones to give him. I hope she'll be okay with it but I couldn't get in touch with her about it.

I think i'm going to have to suck it up and just talk to her about it. I didn't want to upset her but I don't know how much longer I can babysit like this. The stress is too much and I just want this baby to be happy and my toddler to not be upset.

inateapot · March 2013

I would think 4 hours is too long, too. My daughter eats every 3 like clockwork during the day! Seriously - by 3.5 hrs she's crying and by 4 hours she's in a complete meltdown. (she won't take a bottle of any kind & one day I was running late at the hairdressers, it was AWFUL for my husband, who did attempt to give her a bottle, of course)

Something that might help you: mention to his mom "perhaps he's going through a growth spurt & needs a little extra right now" when you ask her to pack extra formula for his bag. That way it's not like she's WRONG, she just needs to be flexible.

I mean, kids aren't robots. You can't keep htem on a rigid schedule!!

SusanC111 · March 2013

EMunion777:
She only provides us with enough food for 2 feedings (he is with me for 6 hours) and I am to feed him at 10 and 2. Today he ate at 9 and 12. I couldn't wait around and let him cry. He's been crying most of the day. There isn't a pacifier in the bag ever but i've seen her give him one several times so I washed one of my daughters old ones to give him. I hope she'll be okay with it but I couldn't get in touch with her about it.
I think i'm going to have to suck it up and just talk to her about it. I didn't want to upset her but I don't know how much longer I can babysit like this. The stress is too much and I just want this baby to be happy and my toddler to not be upset.

oh my good lord. My mom has L for 6 hours on Fridays and I give her 2 6oz bottles and a 4oz, and she knows she can refill one of those if she needs to, (formula fed). I'm not sure why your cousin would have a 4 month old on such a rigid schedule! My kid eats every 2 hours or so. We feed him whenever he's hungry and however much he wants. He's at 79% for weight, so a big boy, but not overweight by any means. I would use PP's suggestion of a growth spurt and get that poor baby some more milk.

dpraseutsinh · March 2013

i understand how you feel. to be honest, i think you should do what's best for the baby. i know each mother has their own way of raising their kids, which is totally fine, but i personally think you can't put a baby on an eating schedule. if that baby is hungry, she's hungry and you should feed her! i've always fed on demand.

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