Pregnant after 35

Anyone else 35 and scared to death of being pregnant again ?

I am new on here and feel so lost, I found out 3 weeks ago I am pregnant and to our suprise was at 15 weeks 5 days had no symptoms and really had not planned on any more children. I have 2 boys one 7 the other 15yrs. Have been for 2 years going through a bad divorce , i had a miscarriage about 5 years ago but since my husband didnt agree mt doctor would not tie my tubes at that time. I have another appointment this week for a more indepth ultrasound . I am afraid to get happy about being pregnant with all of the risks and i am scared of starting all over. Any advice ?

Re: Anyone else 35 and scared to death of being pregnant again ?

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  • Well, at 35 you're considered a young'un on this board.  ;)  Really, your risks at age 35 are not all that different than when you were 28 or 30.  And if you are concerned, there are plenty of options for genetic testing (MaterniT21, quad screening, etc).  I can understand being scared of starting over though.  Anyways, welcome to the board and congrats on your pregnancy!
    Me - 38 DH - 38 DD - 2 pregnancy
  • Thank you a few concerns are related to my health problems but I am worried about not being excited also ? Does eccitement come with a good tests and ultrasound results ? This is so different than my other pregnancys with the others i had already begun buying baby things but so far have no desire :
  • imageLucky13boys:
    Thank you a few concerns are related to my health problems but I am worried about not being excited also ? Does eccitement come with a good tests and ultrasound results ? This is so different than my other pregnancys with the others i had already begun buying baby things but so far have no desire :

    That's totally normal!  Especially if you have prior losses, medical issues, or other concerns (such as your concern about your age).  I didn't get excited with either of my last 2 pregnancies due to a previous miscarriage.  I didn't even buy a onesie for my daughter until I was over halfway through the pregnancy.  So yes, I definitely believe that worries about health issues and pregnancy problems can affect your excitement level.  It's different for everyone but I'm guessing that once you see a good ultrasound and other positive test results, your excitement will start to build.  

    Me - 38 DH - 38 DD - 2 pregnancy
  • I'm scared senseless.  This pregnancy was a very big suprise and it took me a couple of days to even tell my husband.  I'm 6wks pregnant and I have a 15 year old daughter (who will be 16 when the baby is born).  Talk about starting over and trying to find the excitement as the pregnancy progresses.  Don't get me wrong, I believe every baby is a blessing but it's really hard to mentally prepare for an infant when I was trying to mentally prepare for the 'empty nest syndrome'.   You'll find the excitement as time goes on and after the shock has worn off. 

  • imageMichmax11:
    imagejrepin24:

    I'm scared senseless.  This pregnancy was a very big suprise and it took me a couple of days to even tell my husband.  I'm 6wks pregnant and I have a 15 year old daughter (who will be 16 when the baby is born).  Talk about starting over and trying to find the excitement as the pregnancy progresses.  Don't get me wrong, I believe every baby is a blessing but it's really hard to mentally prepare for an infant when I was trying to mentally prepare for the 'empty nest syndrome'.   You'll find the excitement as time goes on and after the shock has worn off. 

    This exactly!  I have 17 and 13 y.o. DDs, and this LO was a total surprise.  We of course are anxiously awaiting her arrival, but it's still hard to be totally excited.  I feel guilty that I'm not as excited now as I was 17 and 13 years ago.  I don't know if it's just because I'm experiencing more physical issues due to age, or if it's because for so long I thought that I was just a few short years from being an empty nester.  I'm sure once she's actually here and I am no longer pregnant (I don't do pregnant well) things will be more exciting.  

    Right there with you ladies! I have a 14 y.o. (almost 15) DD and a 12 y.o. DS.  This pregnancy was a complete surprise (I'll be delivering at 43!) and it took a long time to get excited. I finally allowed my DH and the kids to paint the nursery last weekend. I think when a baby isn't planned, it takes awhile to warm up to the idea. But, now that she's moving non-stop, I find myself talking to her and actually visualizing her as a baby finally. GL to all you you!


    **DD1 - 7/9/98**

    **DS - 11/9/00**

    **DD2 - 4/30/13**

  • imageMichmax11:
    imagejrepin24:

    I'm scared senseless.  This pregnancy was a very big suprise and it took me a couple of days to even tell my husband.  I'm 6wks pregnant and I have a 15 year old daughter (who will be 16 when the baby is born).  Talk about starting over and trying to find the excitement as the pregnancy progresses.  Don't get me wrong, I believe every baby is a blessing but it's really hard to mentally prepare for an infant when I was trying to mentally prepare for the 'empty nest syndrome'.   You'll find the excitement as time goes on and after the shock has worn off. 

    This exactly!  I have 17 and 13 y.o. DDs, and this LO was a total surprise.  We of course are anxiously awaiting her arrival, but it's still hard to be totally excited.  I feel guilty that I'm not as excited now as I was 17 and 13 years ago.  I don't know if it's just because I'm experiencing more physical issues due to age, or if it's because for so long I thought that I was just a few short years from being an empty nester.  I'm sure once she's actually here and I am no longer pregnant (I don't do pregnant well) things will be more exciting.  

    Right there with you ladies! I have a 14 y.o. (almost 15) DD and a 12 y.o. DS.  This pregnancy was a complete surprise (I'll be delivering at 43!) and it took a long time to get excited. I finally allowed my DH and the kids to paint the nursery last weekend. I think when a baby isn't planned, it takes awhile to warm up to the idea. But, now that she's moving non-stop, I find myself talking to her and actually visualizing her as a baby finally. GL to all you you!


    **DD1 - 7/9/98**

    **DS - 11/9/00**

    **DD2 - 4/30/13**

  • Not the same as most of you, but I'm 37 and have a son that will be starting kindergarten in August.  He's been home with me nonstop since birth so I was mentally preparing to have more me time and figuring out how to deal with my son being away from me so much.  Then TADA "New One" surprised us!  I think part of my issue is I know what I'm in for this time which is good and bad.  Firstborn took a lot out of me so the thought of night feelings and no sleep are daunting.  Give yourself a break.  You haven't known for long that you were even expecting! :) hoping you have an easy uncomplicated pregnancy!

     


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  • I'll be 36 when I deliver and my DD will be 10. I feel like I'm starting over too. So I totally feel where u all are coming from. I've got mixed emotions right now at 7 weeks. A part of me is excited but the nausea began this weekend and since I was really sick with DD 10 years ago, I'm nervous that this one may be the same. I know they say each pregnancy is different and for my sake I sure hope "they" are right. GL to you all!!!!!
  • your husband had to give consent for you to get your tubes tied? this is the most outrageous thing i have ever heard. it's your body!  Did he have to sign off on all of your other reproductive choices too? 

    image
  • The entire issue was so rediculos to me especially since I took in my divorce filing and other doccuments to back up that I was no longer there but it did not make a difference. :
  • My baby is planned but I have to admit I still have moments of being scared and wondering what the heck I was thinking.  My kids are 12, 16, & 19.  I'm very much "starting over" considering one of mine is an adult already in college, driving, etc.  I have been so much more scared with this pregnancy than the other 3 pregnancies because of my age.  Now that the pregnancy has progressed and the baby is growing great, ultrasounds are great, etc., I'm a lot less nervous.

    Just give it time.  There are risks of being pregnant but at 35 you are still very young.  Having a baby is a huge life change and it might take a while to adjust to the idea.

  • Hi there Lucky13boys I just signed up on here after reading your blog. I turned 35 last June and had absolutely no plans of starting over with a new baby. Like you, I have 2 boys one 8 and the other 16yrs old. In the beginning I had the same fears about starting all over again and what type of medical issues I may encounter. I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I can honestly say that this pregnancy hasn't really been kind to me, but then again they are not all the same. My boyfriend and I broke up when I was about 3mos pg, and was scared to death about going this pregnancy on my own and not knowing what to expect. But then I look at my boys and realize I am strong enough to do it all over again. I wish the best for you and pray you keep a positive outlook on this new blessing.

     Sincerely

     

  • I'm 37 and just found out I am pregnant with #3! I'm freaking out. My other 2 children are 12 and 7. Just when I was able to sleep at night and have some " me" time, we get this little surprise. 
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