Anyone Terrified?

agerstner · March 2013

Just curious if anyone else is terrified of delivery? I'm nervous enough about having to bring home a baby and know what to do with it, let alone what's actually going to happen during L&D. I feel ridiculous since I am a nurse, and have seen a delivery, and everything was fine! However, now that I'm in the hot seat, I'm absolutely terrified. I think one of the most concerning this for me is tearing... any second time moms have any advice regarding tearing/episiotomy? I feel like the episiotomy could be helpful in directing the "tear" in a different direction, but what if I end up be lucky and not tearing? Does that even happen? *sigh... I should be ready but I am soooooo not!

TriciaandSean · March 2013

I didn't tear although I had an itty bitty baby, I've heard of plenty of other moms that didn't tear either.

logoz80 · March 2013

I did tear, but at the time, you are concentrating on other things so you really don't notice......until later. It does hurt, I won't lie, but it's not really something to be afraid of. It happens

Brb13 · March 2013

Have you looked into a doula? I just found one and already feel less anxious about delivering. She can be there to support you and DH. Just something to consider!

kimberly_ann81 · March 2013

DH is more concerted/worried about labor/delivery than I am. He doen't like to feel helpless and knowing there is nothing he can do to reduce/take away the pain.

As for tearing, I have 2 tears inside; can't remember the degree. Dr stitched me up and I haven't had any problems. Natural tears heal better and faster. Usually you will only tear the first time around if you do.

Britt8058 · March 2013

I tore with my first, it was a 3rd degree tear. It really wasn't bad and I was sore, but never really hurt.

As far as labor goes, your body knows
what to do. And if not, there are multiple medical professionals there to help you out. Try not to get too scared. It really is a wonderful experience!

ckettenb · March 2013

In my opinion the best way to battle fear is with information. I highly recommend reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.

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duffmaker · March 2013

I advise against an episiotomy, you heal better:easier:quicker if you tear naturally and there's no guarantee that you will. I had two teeny tiny tears and M was under 7lbs.

As far as being scared, I am and I don't know why... I wasn't scared AT ALL with M. My delivery was very smooth, and very easy. I had an epidural and it worked and M was out in less than 5mins, no complications during before or after. But I'm really nervous and scared and anxious etc this time.

ziggy23213 · March 2013

We're taking Bradley classes, and they have you do a lot of exercises to stretch out your perineum and reduce tearing. Squatting is really good for that, and so is tailor sitting (sitting "Indian style"). Also, look up perineal massage, and consider having your DH do that the last few weeks. Warm compresses during pushing can also help according to our Bradley teacher.

I definitely agree that information is power, though. I was scared of a lot of stuff, but after reading a bunch of books and now taking the classes, I am much more confident in my ability to give birth naturally. I highly recommend reading Natural Birth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon.

beachbum0084 · March 2013

I am! My delivery with my first was horrible! I didn't tear on the outside but did on the inside apparently. Labor was so awful that I'm secretly hoping to need a c section so I don't have to go through it again lol. Not that a c section is a walk in the park either but I just have horrific flash backs of my delivery. I have heard of second time moms having a much much better experience though so that helps a little

homebird · March 2013

Nah, nothing to be scared of. Honestly, even if you have a long labor it's over so fast. In the span of time your child is in your life, labor is like a blink.

Episiotomies are not recommended anymore. They can cause a lot more damage than a natural tear, and they don't heal well. Most doctors do not do them unless medically necessary.

caffrin · March 2013

I didn't tear with DS, who was was 7lbs 7ozs and his head is in the 95th percentile. It's definitely possible not to tear. I also pushed for over an hour so I think things maybe stretched slowly during that time preventing a tear? Anyways, I am glad I didn't let them do an episiotomy!

Dragonfly1226 · March 2013

I did tear, but at the time I didn't even realize I did until the OB told me she had to stitch me up. I had a epidural so I didn't feel it. I'm pretty sure it was just a first degree tear. It didn't bother me.

jlaOK · March 2013

I had a fourth degree tear with DS and I really didn't find that the pain/recovery was too bad. I did have an effective epidural so I didn't feel the tear or the stitching, but of course I had to deal with the recovery. Obviously, I don't have anything to compare it to personally, but it talking with friends who didn't tear or didn't tear much, my recovery experience didn't seem too different.

bridetobe920 · March 2013

I remember being SO scared when I was pregnant with DD. What if I couldn't do this? What if my body wouldn't cooperate?

I ended up with an episiotomy, because DD was stuck. I remember it hurting, but it was quick, and with everything else going on, it didn't really matter to me. I just wanted her to come out, and that did the trick. DH said she came out like a canon after that. Haha!

The thing I remember most about the whole thing (aside from the obvious awesomeness of having our daughter, of course) was how empowered I felt. I did it! I did something that I thought I might not be able to do, and that was an amazing feeling. I was (and still am) so proud of myself, and it was so worth it!

GingerBabyTX · March 2013

I'm actually really NOT...and that surprises me. I have a pretty low pain tolerance, normally, but I just feel like this is something I was made to do and, no matter the pain or the circumstances, I"ll get through it. I feel oddly at peace with it. My hubby on the other hand...he's worried. It's sweet.

nikel13 · March 2013

I totally agree to not reading about it a whole lot. Knowledge can be power, but it can also scare the crap out of you. This is one situation in which I want to go in dumber and less scared.

ckettenb · March 2013

nikel13:
I totally agree to not reading about it a whole lot. Knowledge can be power, but it can also scare the crap out of you. This is one situation in which I want to go in dumber and less scared.

t

The thought of being ignorant about what is going on with my own body and having people perform medical procedures on me and asking me to make decisions about them when I have no idea what they entail and what the pros and cons and risks are terrifies me WAY more than learning about all the amazing things my body is capable of doing. But I guess to each her own.

musicalsilver · March 2013

ckettenb:
In my opinion the best way to battle fear is with information. I highly recommend reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.

I'm approaching it from this mindset. I read a ton of birth stories while TTC, and got this book early on in this pregnancy. I really loved that it made it very clear that this is what our bodies are meant to do. It's full of empowering stories that make this very clear. Definitely second this book recommendation - I feel much calmer about the whole process after reading this one.

JaimeCH · March 2013

Don't be afraid. Our bodies were meant to do this. All you will be concerned about during birth is getting that baby out of you safely, and once they are out you won't even think about whether you tore or not. The overwhelming feeling of meeting your newborn for the first time is pretty amazing. That may sound all mushy and all, but really, the side effects of childbirth are well worth it and nothing to fear.

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