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May 2013 Moms
LaineyPaney
member
Am I wrong???
LaineyPaney
member
How would you feel if your SO wanted to go on a fun trip without you, an international trip, when you will be 33 weeks pregnant??
....then, what if you also had a history of PTL when PG with DS and many weeks of bed rest before delivering.... Does that change anything????
DH doesn't seem to understand my concern about him going on a nonessential trip when I'm in the 3rd trimester... Am I wrong for being terrified that he will go, and I'll go into labor and get put on bed rest, all the while trying to still parent DS???
....then, what if you also had a history of PTL when PG with DS and many weeks of bed rest before delivering.... Does that change anything????
DH doesn't seem to understand my concern about him going on a nonessential trip when I'm in the 3rd trimester... Am I wrong for being terrified that he will go, and I'll go into labor and get put on bed rest, all the while trying to still parent DS???
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Re: Am I wrong???
I try not to be a controlling, "No, you can't" kind of wife, but an international fishing trip during out third trimester just seems crazy selfish to me!
He says that he won't go, but still doesn't seem to understand how I just want him to man up and say, "this isn't a good time for me to be away from my little family."
I told him that I don't want him to be a jerk or look like a jerk...and if something DID happen while he was gone, he'd definitely come off looking like a jerk.
I would probably hide his passport. That is unacceptable especially if you are at risk for PTL.
I understand him wanting to do something fun for himself, but I would definitely have a problem with it, especially if I had a history of PTL. It's scary being pregnant, and it's really nice if you are able to have your SO with you. I don't know what I would do without my husband around to tell me when I'm freaking out for no reason. (He doesn't say it quite like that... Haha.) Plus, if you already have a child, of course you want the help and support when you're this far along into the pregnancy.
I honestly can't imagine how he would even be able to have fun, knowing that you were so close to the delivery date. My husband told his work that he wouldn't be able to join the softball league that's happening AFTER our baby is born because he wants to be near me/the baby when possible (I told him he should do it for his sanity's sake). I just think it is reassuring for BOTH parties to be near each other and near the hospital as the due date approaches.
Yep, all of this (except that I'm 30 weeks).
Definitely not wrong IMO. I agree with the others that certain other trips are more understandable, such as business trip or big family event. I think the international part is questionable, only because I grew up in an area where "international" could mean going only 10 minutes away. But definitely if it's more than a few hours, or a flight away, then I wouldn't be having it, especially just for a fun trip when you can go fishing anywhere.
I guess I agree with you, I am encouraging my husband to take a trip for a long weekend in the beginning of April. I will probably be 5-6 weeks from delivering. I have no problems with him leaving but I am not at risk for PTL. Even if I was, I don't think I would mind. I guess it depends on how long he will be gone. I know my husband loves me and would never do anything that he thought would be wrong, especially when it comes to baby and me.
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I'm nervous at the idea of my DH going to play 3D Dodgeball at a place thats less than 30 minutes away. (Ill be about 37 weeks when this is scheduled to happen.) International, for me at least, could never happen.
You're not wrong.
No way are you wrong. Especially having another child as well. This far along I know I wouldn't want to be without my DH. I could understand even if it were a quick trip maybe, like for the weekend, but no way would an international trip fly with me.
He needs to try to go some other time. After all you didn't A-sexually reproduce!
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The PTL history is what tips the scale for me here. I am encouraging DH to do fun things right now. I'm aware that I'm less fun at this point, and me and our son are going to need him around all the time come late May.
I'm sure it's got you stewing on the inside, but I've come to accept that mh DH thinks differently than me. He always has, and he always will. I think most men are this way... not so keen on the "what if" scenarios. They're fixers, not ponderers. Good luck.