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Attachment Parenting
Ginny0211
member
Drs. discouraging Extended BF
Ginny0211
member
Ugh. I recently moved and switched offices, but I think i'm going to just make the extra drive to go back to our previous pediatrician who was pro-breastfeeding and never made a deal about it. I just saw yet another Dr. today in this new office that made such a big deal about me still BFing my DD. I'm ready to wean, but my DD is not. I no longer offer and just feed on demand. When she is done teething I will start gently weaning again and redirecting to the sippy cup. I plan to have her completely weaned by age 2. She is lactose intolerant and is not really interested in her lactaid milk or almond milk but I do offer it. She is a picky eater but she does eat some solids each day and we sit down to eat three times a day and she gets snacks. She also drinks water and some diluted calcium enriched orange juice (half water/half juice) from her sippy cup every day. The first Dr. I saw at this office was concerned about DD's calcium intake even after I said she drinks the calcium enriched orange juice so I took her suggestion to give DD kid's calcium gummies. I brought my DD to the pediatrician today and saw another pediatrician and while we were there my DD signed for milk. Then this other pediatrician went on and on about how I need to really be weaning her right now. She said that DD should be weaned completely by 18 months because it is stopping her from drinking cows milk and breast milk doesn't provide enough nutrients for a toddler. The American Pediatrics Association recommends breastfeeding for "at least 12 months of age, and continuation of breastfeeding for as long as mutually desired by mother and baby"..... I see the concern about calcium and will ask her previous Dr. about this, but completely weaning her?!
These two Drs. seem to think that if I stop giving my DD breast milk that all of asudden my DD is going to gulp down cow's mik. My thinking is if I weaned right now DD would have just about the same interest in cow's milk, maybe a tiny bit more, but I doubt it. There is a chance she would finish one sippy cup a day, but I doubt it. She is a picky eater! Even when i'm not home and she is being babysat she doesn't chug from her sippy cup. So i'm thinking there would be no benefit in regards to her getting an increased amount of calcium if I weaned her. I think she would get less since she wouldn't get what she was getting from me. She would probably eat a little bit more solids, but I think she will stay a picky eater and I like that my breast milk can help fill in the gaps for her nutrition. I have talked to other mom's who have had to give their extremely picky eaters Pedia- sure. Why would I stop breast feeding and then probably replace it with pedia sure...?
Sorry for the long vent. I am just am tired of hearing people ask "You're STILL breastfeeding?!". And to get it from a Dr. was shocking.
Anyone come across this from Drs. ? And if you're extended breastfeeding has your pediatrician giving you suggestions for needed supplements? Anyone with a LO with milk issues have diet suggestions?
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Re: Drs. discouraging Extended BF
More Green For Less Green
Thanks y'all.
She loves beans so she definitely gets a good amount of those. We haven't tried Almonds except for in almond milk so I will offer her those as well as some coconut.
I don't understand pediatricians, I swear. First of all of, if your DS is lactose intolerant she is not going to be gulping down cow's milk, and secondly, what is it to them?!
Since your DS is lactose intolerant I would start looking into milk substitutions--for when both of you are ready. Things like almond milk or coconut milk tonic which is fortified with Kal Dolomite and sweetened with a little bit of pure maple syrup. I am currently doing a form of elimination diet to find the culprit for DS's health issues which I believe are coming from his food, so I've been doing my research on calcium and magnesium rich foods as well as milk substitutions.
This is a link by Growing Up Paleo on growing up without dairy (lots of food info).
And this one is the recipe for the coconut milk tonic found on The Healthy Home Economist (this post is actually an article on three types of milk substitutions for kids allergic to milk). GL!
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You need to find a new pediatric office or family doctor! A pedi should be supportive of bfing. 18 mo is hardly "extended bfing" either. I figured by the title your kid was 3 or 4 or something! 18 mo is still a baby and most kids won't self-wean at that age! My pedi never once blinked when I was still nursing DS1 and even asked if I planned to tandem nurse! I'd run the other way if I were you. Chances are this is only the beginning of things you won't agree on.
My doctor not only supports me still breastfeeding, she supports me doing it pregnant.
The pedi's you saw are undereducated about breastfeeding, and the pressure you got is totally unacceptable. I would write a letter of complaint to the office, and if possible, find a new one. If not, go to your appointments with some papers to back you up... or just an attitude that says "I am the mom and this is how I feed my kid. Back the hell off."
My son still doesn't LOVE cow milk. He eats yogurt and cheese happily. He nurses 3+ x a day. He doesn't need cow milk. He's not a cow. He didn't really EAT solids until 18 months (we offered many times a day from 6 months on). This is not a problem. We do give him a chewable vitamin now, but that's more because he doesn't eat much meat and I worry about his iron.
Either get an attitude and tell them what you think, or get a new doctor. Ideally both.
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I call MUD. LOL
Certainly in this day and age all Dr.s would understand the benefits of BF and respect the choice women make in following the WHO and AAP recommendations?!?
I still don't get how BF under the age of 2 could ever be considered 'extended'.
Thank you.
I did not agree with these two Drs. and everything I have read said otherwise. I definitely was not going to stop breastfeeding after talking to them, but they were making me worry about her calcium intake and I did not have the strength to confront them on their misinformation on breastfeeding past 18 months. I just smile and nodded hoping she would drop it. *sigh* i'm NOT going back to those two Drs. for sure. I just didn't know if I was going to give the other Drs, at this new office a try or not or make the extra drive. If I see another Dr. and they give the same lecture, I think I will speak up this time. I'm not a confrontational person.
Sorry for the wording it "extended" I guess that is the wrong term. I was tired and it was late. I'm never good at coming up with titles to posts.... And i'm surrounded by people that think I have been breastfeeding for an "extended" amount of time. I only have a couple people IRL that I can talk to about anything related to nursing a toddler. Everyone else is not supportive and either makes jokes or tells me I need to stop. I am not going to let other people's comments stop me from doing what I feel is best for my DD, but at the same time it wears on me sometimes.
And to the PP calling MUD. Ha! I wish. I was shocked when I heard yet another Dr. at this practice saying this stuff, but trust me they really did say it.
You'd be surprised. I always get the side eye by nurses and doctors when they ask if I'm still BFing. The question is actually "you are not BFing right?" Our Pedi stopped mentioning it when at our 15 mo WCC he said I should be done his words "he doesn't really need it anymore" my response: I'll wean when we are both ready. He never brought it up again.
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It was a joke. I wasn't seriously calling MUD... just trying to point out how ridiculous it is that BFing mamas have to explain the benefits to their drs.
Also in regards to the 'extended' part, most people do call bf after 1 extended. I think it should be considered 'extended' after 2 though.
My favorite is the the pedi on the bf-ing board that gets all bent out of shape when I suggest that some pedi's actually aren't informed or helpful about breastfeeding.
You know, because ALL doctors are equally qualified on all issues, and no doctor would make you feel like breastfeeding is no big deal.
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That's really ridiculous. If you're feeling extra snarky, why not print off some BFing studies or even just the official policies of the AAP and attach them to a letter explaining why you'r leaving the practice?
When reading your story, I was expecting your child to be a lot older. Then I got to the part about your LO not even being 18 months yet - now is not the time of medically necessary weaning. If you want to, go for it but it's not something you need to do for the benefit of your child.
BTW - my ped is on maternity leave and her sub was also weird/uninformed about BFing so you're not the only one to get the 3rd degree over "extended" BFing. The sub told me that it was fine as long as it wasn't interfering with solids, but then she suddenly wasn't worried when I reminded her that I'm a working mother. I guess in her mind it's really problematic for a mom to sit at home nursing her 1 year old all day. I'm pretty sure there's no evidence to back up her position, so I just smiled & nodded. I'm not weaning just because some random Ped who doesn't know her stuff thinks it's weird.
My DD will be 3 in May and she is ***gasp*** still BF about 4-5 x a day. We started BLW with her around 6 months but it took at least a couple of months before she started actually eating some food (as opposed to just gnawing on stuff). She was pretty slow going on the whole solid food thing and around 11 months she actually went on a solid food strike for 2 weeks and didn't want anything other than BM. I would say she didn't really start eating a bunch until about 15-18 months, She wasn't picky necessarily (far from it actually) but just didn't eat a lot of quantity.
She started out at 50th % for both height and weight but dropped to about 5th % for weight over time and that is where she is at still. She definitely doesn't look malnourished or scrawny. She was 23# at 2 year check up and now at almost 34 months she is about 26#. The last couple of months especially she has been eating like a horse.
She drinks WCM at daycare 3 mornings a week and at home she has maybe an ounce at dinner. She also had expressed BM at daycare until I finally ran out on her second birthday. She started eating my old fashioned oatmeal with me since she was about 7 months old (made with milk).
if you are offering your LO a variety of foods at every meal and she is growing and gaining weight (even if it is slow) I really wouldn't worry about it. I think we often think a kid needs to eat more than what they really need. After all they are still little. I am sure that a plenty of kids do eat more than they really need because parents are worried they aren't getting enough. Weight is for the most part just a number. If a kid is doing fine and growing and not losing weight (other than during illness) then they are likely just fine (just like anything in medicine, you shouldn't treat just the numbers, you should treat the patient).
A friend of mine read that the US actually has higher rates of osteoporosis than a lot of the underdeveloped countries where people don't drink a lot of milk. You can get calcium from sources other than milk. And to tell someone that they should wean because of calcium intake is just plain dumb.
When EBF they still get benefits from BM both nutrional and emotional. I don't think cow's milk has a lot of nutrional value per se (it isn't like you can't get proteins and calcium from other sources) and certainly isn't better than BM. I think the natural weaning age in developed countries is 3-5. There is nothing wrong with weaning before that time if mom and/or baby are ready but there is also nothing wrong with letting a kid take the lead if mom is OK with that. My DD will ask for "milky to make me feel better" when she is hurt or upset. Her nursing sessions are usually still pretty long but that is mostly because we read several books while we nurse. So yes she gets milk but there is also a fair amount of comfort nursing.
I would just quit mentioning the BF to the doctors if they can't be supportive. Do what is right for you and your LO. DD never took any supplements, not vitamin D or iron. Her pedi didn't feel like vitamin D was really that important since we get a ton of sun where we live. The iron drops were gross and messy and she hated them so I just had her checked for anemia at 9 and 12 months and she was fine ( not everyone is of course but that's why I had her checked and if she had been anemic I would have supplemented with iron).
She does get a vitamin gummy because she doesn't eat a lot of veggies (but loves fruit) yet. Probably not really necessary but she likes them and it won't harm her.
Do what's right for you. Offer her foods (avocado has a lot of good fats/calories) and let her lead the way. She will start eating more at some point when she is ready. It took my DD a while but she eats plenty now and is still BF. Unless she refuses everything I wouldn't worry. If she is just eating small quantities if thing she will likely start eating more before you know it.
Good luck!
Thank you everyone for your responses. Y'all have helped give me more strength to speak up next time. Hopefully I won't have to hear this again from a Dr. though!