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Helping Toddler adjust to new baby

jennifer0504jennifer0504 member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

Hi! My daughter is 26 months and is a pretty easygoing child. We put a lot of effort into preparing her for her new baby brother. We stick to a routine that works for her and my mom and sister stuck to that during the 4 days DH and I wre in the hospital.

That being said, DD is having a tough time since bringing home baby on Monday.   She is behaving pretty well but is going into hysterics during nap and bedtime. She is also waking in the middle of the night crying and it is taking my husband over an hour to help her fall back asleep.  She was taking a 2 hour nap everyday and sleeping from 8pm-7am every night.

It is heartbreaking because due to my c section I cannot lift her and rock her if needed. Everytime one of us walks out of the room she calls for us like she is afraid we might leave. I know it will get better especially once I can do more with her once I am fully recovered but do any of you have any tips for helping a child adjust?

Thank you!!! 

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Re: Helping Toddler adjust to new baby

  • emberlee3emberlee3 member

    Patience.  Give her as much attention as you possibly can.  If you can't give her attention, get other people to come over or take her places and give her as much attention as possible.  It is a big adjustment.  DH and DS both had their share of tantrums after DD was born.  Fortunately, my hormones weren't nearly as crazy with the second baby, so I didn't throw too many tantrums myself. :)

    Good luck!

    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
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  • LSU628LSU628 member
    DD also had a hard time at first. She completely regressed with potty training, started saying she was a baby and crawling and refusing to do things she would normally do for herself. She also got really nervous and upset if DH or I left the house, especially if I mentioned I had to go to the dr. I think she was afraid that if I went to the dr I would be gone again for days. With lots of attention, cuddles and special big sister trips and treats she calmed down and settled back into her routine. We kept things as normal as possible with her schedule, going to school, gymnastics, etc. Now she loves her brother and I have to keep her from smothering him in kisses!
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  • rjeller32rjeller32 member
    My kids are exactly 26 months apart, and I was terrified she would hate the new LO. It takes time for them to adjust and learn to share attention. DD2 is 8 weeks old, and DD1 is finally completely used to having a little sister. She likes to hold her, and pretend to be a doctor counting her toes. I think it also takes time for you to adjust to the fact that you can't give them as much attention as you used to. I think it teaches a bit of independence, and it actually helped us to potty train DD1 because she wanted to be a big girl. I swear it gets easier though, just try and involving the older sibling as much as possible, i.e. helping change diapers, or put lotion on the baby...talking to baby and all the fun stuff :)
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  • rayandbritrayandbrit member

    I agree to give it time. Everyone is over-tired & adjusting right now. Try to involve her as much as possible, it may sound silly, but try calling your son her baby. Like saying "DD, your baby is crying! Let's go check him!" We did this with our first and I think it helped make her feel like she was an important part of it all, and this baby was just as much hers. 

    Every day will get better.I know it's exhausting having a newborn & a toddler that's not sleeping, but just be as consistent &  constant in your routine as possible. Try your best not to feel guilty, you've given her a wonderful gift having a sibling, everyone just needs time to adjust :)

    GL! 

    DD #1 4 years old (09/22/09)
    DD #2 2 years old (08/17/11)
    DD #3 born 08/29/13
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  • JameyRJameyR member

    Time is the answer. DD1 was so excited when we brought DD2 home. She's always been good to her and loves being around her. Her issues were at bedtime. She would freak out and wake up 4-6 times a night. It's taken a lot of time and we aren't quite there yet...she's been doing well but still wakes up once a night a few times a week. I used to let her CIO but she is so loud now that it sometimes wakes DD2. 

     

    We've been working on a bedtime routine that involves both girls doing things together since DD2 is able to sit up on her own now, and that is really helping. They do bath time together and read together. I talk to DD1 about how it's time for bed soon about 30-45 min before it is time to go. I also remind her that she doesn't need to cry and that mommy and daddy and sister are all sleeping in our "spots" too. She likes the idea of everyone having "spots." She got her own big girl Minnie Mouse blankets and pillow pet for Christmas and she loves going to bed with them. She also got a baby with a stroller and PNP for Christmas that she takes care of while I'm taking care of DD1.

     

    It can be really frustrating especially since you are trying to figure out how to manage with 2 now and you can't pick her up either. Just remember that she is adjusting and her world is even more different than yours is now. She will be ok and end of being ok during nap time/bed time too. Try to explain as much as you can about the new changes and how important she is. Good luck!

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