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Blended Families
Work BF problem and I dunno what to do about it. [long]
You ladies were very helpful with my BM issue/non-issue and I am hoping you can help me with a work issue now as well. It's been almost 4 hours since I got home from work and I am still steaming. This got really long, sorry in advance.
To give you a quick breakdown of work hierarchy, my SO and I work for the same company in different departments. The chain of command is My Boss --> Me for my department, and for his department: My Boss --> "The General" --> SO's Boss --> SO.
Work has been having a problem with our one warehouse and its dis-organization recently, so "The General" decided to set up OT for the next month, including weekends, to re-organize and order the warehouse. He sent out a schedule on Wednesday with everyone's mandatory times, either for 24 extra hours during the 5 day work week or 2 twelve hour days over the weekend. SO was only scheduled for the four weekends, and I was only scheduled for three out of the 4. This is an issue for us, since we only get the kids from BM on the weekend and we can not leave them alone for 12 hours during the day (it's just not fair to them, or really, good parenting, they're only 15 and 11.)
SO went to talk to his boss on Thursday about switching two of the weekends with two week shifts instead since someone in his department offered, and got sent to The General. When he came home he was really upset and didn't want to talk about it but said he was told "No" and asked me to see if I could switch some of my weekends to weeks so that we could still have the boys for some of our scheduled time instead of losing it all together. I emailed my boss, who is out of the office until Tuesday, and was told that I shouldn't have been scheduled for OT at all since my department was "optional" OT only and that he would fix it.
I got called into The General's office today and "reprimanded" for "going over his head" to "get out of my required overtime." When I stated I had asked to switch, not cancel entirely, and that it was so someone could be with the boys so that SO would still get some of his scheduled visitation, The General looked me dead in the eye and said, "I will tell you what I told [SO]: if he had never been so careless as to get divorced, this wouldn't have been an issue in the first place. He was scheduled for the weekend OT exactly because of his family situation." And then he told me to get out.
It's none of his business why my SO got divorced and it should not affect his OT schedule at all, especially not in a negative way! I know this needs to be addressed but I don't know with who or if I should even be part of it, since the General's issue is clearly with my SO and not with me, per say. Our HR person reports to the General, so I don't think she'll be much help. Any advice?
TL;DR: My SO's boss's boss deliberately scheduled his mandatory overtime so that he would miss his weekly visitation with his sons because the boss's boss doesn't believe in divorce. We were both told this separately and by the boss's boss. HR is of little to no help. What do we do?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Work BF problem and I dunno what to do about it. [long]
Unfortunately if you like your job, nothing. Or look for a new job. And when you leave, be sure to tell him he's an ***.
Pretty sure my resignation letter will be started with, "Dear ***..."
I do like my job, but frankly, this is enough to make me look for a new one. And again, his problem is more with my SO than me...but just the fact that someone in a position of power would abuse it like that. RAGE.
Letter to the labor board. Sounds like discrimination to me
It IS discrimination. It sounds like you have a great lawsuit on your hands, and I would be very surprised if you didn't win. I would contact a lawyer a.s.a.p. and figure things out. Seriously.
I agree with this.
This. You probably should still file a complaint with HR and talk to your supervisor as well. You'll want a paper trail showing that you and SO did everything you could to get relief from Jerk Face's discrimination to no avail.
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Unfortunately, it's only considered "discrimination" in some states. Theres no federal law preventing discrimination based upon marital status. Dumb, I know!! If you're in one of those states that its illegal to discriminate based on marital status, I'm pretty sure its more than half of them, get a lawyer asap!!!!
What state are you in? I know it's illegal in NJ and in the Federal Sector.
Thank you ladies for all your suggestions and for, essentially, validating me in the fact that The General is a complete jerkface. We're located in Central PA, and I'm not sure of the discrimination policies for the state. I will look into it, and pass the information along to SO.
I think in the end it's going to be his call if he wants to pursue legal action, since the issue revolves around him and not me (I was relieved of my OT completely by MY boss, so I will be able to stay with the boys while SO is forced to work.) I will still make a report to our HR person on Monday, and to my boss when he returns to the office Tuesday.
Annnd I'm also going to start looking for a new job. And will probably encourage my SO to do the same. Sigh.
A quick google search leads me to believe that it is not illegal in PA to discriminate based on marital status in employment. Which is stupid. But it falls under the "unfair and unethical" heading, so we may still be able to report it to the state.
https://www.portal.state.pa.us/portal/server.pt/community/phrc_home/18970/employment_discrimination/707816
Thanks again for your help ladies.
Ugh!! I agree that its stupid. Best of luck with this. Let us know how it turns out.
If it is not illegal in your state and you will indeed be able to stay with the boys while SO works, then I wouldn't bother doing anything. It could do more harm to your SO in the workplace than anything else. His boss could start making his life a living hell at work, which is no fun.
I agree the best thing is to either transfer to a different dept where SO would not have to report to him at all, or look for a new job.