NBR Is this weird?

[Deleted User] · March 2013

DH's grandma passed away last weekend and her funeral was today. Their family is Portuguese and Catholic, and I am neither. Most of the ceremony was in Portuguese, and I guess they prayed the rosary, and it lasted almost 2 hours. DH was a pall bearer so I sat in front with his family and just tried to keep DS occupied. I got a little misty eyed when DH and his cousins passed by the casket and some of them were crying, but other than that I just felt pretty removed from the whole thing. I did like his grandma, she was such a sweet old Portuguese lady, and she meant a lot to DH. But I feel kinda weird that I didn't get more upset. I mean sometimes TV shows make me bawl, and this was real life. I'm wondering if the antidepressants I started a few weeks ago have numbed my reaction.. Though they haven't blunted my frustration with DS fighting sleep... Or maybe it's just because I wasn't sitting next to DH and couldn't relate to any of the ceremony and was so distracted by DS. DH hasn't really been letting his sadness show either, he keeps saying he's fine. I dunno, is it weird that I don't feel more sad??

eyenigh · March 2013

No, not at all. Not only were you neither Portugese or Catholic, you had the added distraction of keeping your son occupied. When you aren't immersed in something, or, even worse when you don't even know what's going on because you don't know the language, it's definitely easier to not get as emotionally connected. Language carries a lot of meaning.

[Deleted User] · March 2013

BreanneL24:
I think you're totally normal. DHs grandma passed away just before Valentines day. We actually spent our entire Valentines Day in a funeral home, romantic right? Anyways, I didn't cry or really get upset. I did get misty eyed when they closed her casket, but that was it. I don't think DH cried either but I know he was upset about it all.

I view death just as a part of life. With his grandma, it was very much expected and she was in pain. It was easy to come to terms with what happened and truly for the best. I'm sure I'll be more emotional when it is my own family or something unexpected.

This is true in our case too, she had been deteriorating for several years and MIL had warned us a couple of days prior that she had gotten much worse.
Thank you both for making me feel normal!!

countrygrl5533 · March 2013

I'm not really a crier, even at funerals. The only one that I had a hard time with was my grandmother's. I'm still surprised my sister and I made it through our duet (Grampie wanted us to sing her fav song).

But the fact that you didn't even know what was going on, I don't think you have anything to worry about.

MrsJetSet · March 2013

I'd think the language and dealing with DS would be plenty to occupy your thoughts. I'm not surprised you didn't have much reaction. I'd doubt the drugs have much impact that fast. I'd blame it most on the circumstance. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Deleted User] · March 2013

MrsJetSet:
I'd think the language and dealing with DS would be plenty to occupy your thoughts. I'm not surprised you didn't have much reaction. I'd doubt the drugs have much impact that fast. I'd blame it most on the circumstance. I'm sorry for your loss.

Thanks. I finally got to spend some time with MIL the next day and then I was getting choked up. She kept talking about her mom and stuff and I could see how sad she was. Nice to know I'm not a zombie.

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