3rd Trimester

How can my husband adopt my son from a previous relationship?


Everywhere I call its literally at least 175 for a half hour phone consultation!

Is there any other approach we can take that is less expensive?
 
Also, if youve been in this situation before, how much does it cost roughly.. for the overall process and how much time did it take to become official?
 
*My sons father died before my son was born and the hospital wouldnt allow me to put his name on the birth certificate. They wouldnt even allow my sons grandma (fathers mom) to sign for it!! Not sure if that will be an issue. 

Re: How can my husband adopt my son from a previous relationship?

  • Wow.... um, I don't think anyone can help you here.... even IF they were in a similar situation, laws vary so much from state to state that you couldn't count on their advice.

    If you don't want to pay to talk to a lawyer then try Google.

    ETA: But honestly, $175 sounds more than fair to get accurate legal information from a family attorney in your area. Some things you shouldn't skimp on.

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  • don't quote me on this, but if there is no paternal name on the birth certificate, I THINK you can go to family court (or records, or whoever handles birth certificates) and have your husband sign it himself, that will give him paternal rights to the child, and since your son's biological father is deceased, there is no one to contest it.

    I have a friend who had no contact with her daughter's bio father, and when she got married, her husband 'adopted' the little girl. I have another friend who did not have the bio father on the BC, and when she was with her FI, was contemplating just having him go in and sign the BC himself, but she was afraid the bio father would contest even though they had had no contact in like, 5 years.

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  • imageUberBiz:

    don't quote me on this, but if there is no paternal name on the birth certificate, I THINK you can go to family court (or records, or whoever handles birth certificates) and have your husband sign it himself, that will give him paternal rights to the child, and since your son's biological father is deceased, there is no one to contest it.

    I believe this is the case too, but take it with a grain of salt. I know my mom went through a lot of BS and paid A LOT of money (well actually my adopted-paternal grandparents put up the funds) to have my dad legally become my dad when they got married. But my biological dad was listed on the BC, now my BC has my (adoptive) dad listed. ETA: And that was 20 years ago so I'm sure things have become more complicated as they normally do over time.

    Like PP said, some things you don't want to skimp out on, granted I would be p!ssed if I paid $175 for some schmuck to tell me to just go to family court and have hubby sign it.

    Give your department of vital statistics a call, they should be able to point you in the right direction... for free.

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  • I don't have answer for you about the adoption part, but I agree as someone else said laws are different from state to state and seeking legal advice is important.

    If you cannot afford the legal advice, if you search a little you can find when and where you can get free/discount legal advice at churches or other charities. One church close to my work has free legal advice once a month, but you have to make appointments in advance.

  • Just go to family court and ask them where the adoption office is. They will give you a packet of ppwk to fill out and tell you what you need to turn in with it. They will also ask you for a death certificate for the childs father.
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  • You may want to ask this question on the Blended Families Board. I know some ladies have gone through similar situations there and they are a fabulous bunch of ladies with some great advice!
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  • My friend's first husband never "claimed" their daughter.  His name does not appear on the birth certificate because he was not in the country when she was born (they divorced when she was pregnant, he moved with his mistress to London).  She contacted him and had him sign over his legal rights to the child in a notarized letter... nothing more legal than that.

     When my friend remarried and her new husband wanted to adopt her daughter, their lawyer said it was just a matter of having her last name changed at the courthouse and specifying in their will that the daughter would be placed in the custody of her husband if anything should happen to my friend.

     Maybe that would be an option?  But I agree with PPs... its probably worth the cost to be absolutely certain that everything is dotted and crossed in this case.  Not the sort of thing you want to skimp on and have to worry about later.

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  • imagecellomusic11:
    Just go to family court and ask them where the adoption office is. They will give you a packet of ppwk to fill out and tell you what you need to turn in with it. They will also ask you for a death certificate for the childs father.

    That's just it... OP said the child's father is not on the birth certificate. So the question is how can she proceed with an adoption with no father on record. Does she have to prove something or can the husband just sign some papers. Could be tricky because what's to prevent someone from saying the unlisted father is dead when really he isn't, but because there's no name on the certificate there's nothing to check?

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  • My husband recently adopted my daughter and it cost around $4000 for everything. I would def not pay for a consultation though. Look around and see if there is any other lawyers in your area because if he charges that much for a consult what does he pay for the work he has to do?!

    I would do some research about the laws before hand so you have some knowledge of how the laws in your state work. Hope everything works out for you!

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  • Consultation fees are pretty standard, though you could always try to negotiate down, but it helps establish a relationship so future conflicts of interest can be avoided. 

    You do need to talk to someone though, as PP have said, the laws vary from state to state.  However, if there's no father on the BC, things should be a little easier. 


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  • I have a question, and i'm not trying to be rude or offensive. If the consult fee is expensive how are you going to be able afford the adoption process and are you sure its the best place for  your money to go? I guess i don't understand the reasoning behind it all? 

    Again, i really am just trying to understand the situation and not be offensive, just genuinely curious.  

  • I would start with legalaid at your local courthouse. They should be able to help you figure out what you need for a stepparent adoption
  • Maybe try the Blended Family board... Those ladies know the legal system a fair amount.
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