Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
emriley84
member
Re: recovery with a toddler
All of this. I couldn't lift my toddler for about 4 weeks. Listen to your body and most definitely move around as much as possible. The best way to recover is to walk as soon as they let you.Good luck!
Gavin was 21 months old when Carson was born and was a super active kid. I just took it easy, and didn't pick him up for a couple weeks. We eased into it and there were no major problems. I will say that he was a little freaked out seeing me in the hospital and upset that I was gone for a few days (I stayed the full 4 days since C was in the NICU). Luckily, we had a lot of grandparents there to watch him and spoil him, so he got over that pretty quickly.
Good luck!
After DS2 was born, I was cleared to lift DS1 (who was ~25 lbs) after my two week appointment. And once I was cleared to lift DS1, DH went back to work (he didn't have much vacation time). I was fine home with both of the boys by myself. It wasn't easy, and I was exhausted by the time DH got home, but it was totally doable.
This time around, my Dr. didn't like the sound of me lifting DS2 (who is ~35 lbs), so I'm still on lifting restrictions after my two week appointment. She said no lifting more than the baby + carseat for two more weeks, then only occasional & careful lifting of DS2 until my 6 week appointment.
We're watching a lot of TV, honestly. It's hard to find things to do that don't require me to lift my high-needs toddler. And it's been snowy here so there hasn't been much of an opportunity to get outside easily either.
Also, keep in mind that you won't be able to drive while you are taking narcotics, and after that if you are in enough pain that you would hesitate to slam on the brakes.
The surgery itself has been very smooth both times around, and I'm feeling really good now 2.5 weeks out. If I wasn't on lifting restrictions I would be very comfortable home with the three kids on my own at this point.
DD1 was 22 months and about 22 lbs when I had DD2 a month ago. My OB and MW said not to lift DD1 for 2 weeks after my c/s, and that was right about when I started to feel like I could do it. DH and MIL helped out those first two weeks. After that, I still didn't want to carry DD1 around for long periods of time, but I could do the necessary lifting for putting her in her crib, diaper changes, and putting her in her high chair.
If you decide to go with the c/s, I'd plan to have help around for at least 2 weeks, preferably 3-4 considering the weight of your toddler.
ETA: Not trying to imply that he's overweight, just that I know DD1's 22 lbs were borderline for me at the 2-week mark.
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
I guess I'm odd man out. I had my 2nd c-section 2 weeks ago and my first son is a 33lb 2yr old. I picked him up while sitting on my 2nd day in the hospital (got yelled at for that by family). I was picking my son up and putting him into his high chair and bed by our first day home which was 4 days post c-section. I was down on the floor playing with him by day 5. I drove myself to a job interview on day 8.
My dr. had said no driving for 2 weeks but I did fine with it. She had told me I could pick up my son but to keep it to a minimum, which I did. My husband was home with me for 2 weeks but honestly he was supposed to go back to work on day 7 and I could have managed on my own. He just extended his time home to spend more time with us.
The 2nd c-section was way rougher than my first because this baby was stuck and took 3 drs to get him out. My first c-section I never had to take pain meds and this time I had to take like 6 pain pills in the hospital. I've got a crazy high pain tolerance and I'm stubborn so I don't recommend jumping in as hard core as I have but I wouldn't think you'd need anyone more than a week or two.
Don't be terrified! I felt great after each of my c/s. DS was 17 months when I had my 2nd c/s. He was a chunk and I had no trouble caring for him from the day we got home. I was able to kind of boost him into the crib to avoid lifting (but by 2 weeks out was fine lifting him, as well). We were back to normal activities by 3 weeks out. Same goes for after my 3rd c/s last fall, I came home to an almost-4 year old and a 2 1/2 year old and was able to help them in and out of the car/car seat by a week out. Actually, I lifted them onto my hospital bed when they came to meet DD2 - and was scolded by my DH, oops. The pain meds I was on probably helped with that one. We moved across the country 2 weeks after my 3rd c/s and I helped with the move - a lot of it was mind over matter, I think.
Best of luck to you either way!
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012