- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Dads & Dads-to-be
TriManDad86
member
No meds
TriManDad86
member
Wife wants no Med birth but I know she doesn't do well with pain so how do I get her to her goal when I see her in soo much pain?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: No meds
Mine did the same. It helped to always be calm and supportive. Even if you're screaming inside, you can't show her. Keep everything positive and she'll be more likely to continue with the path she wants.
Another tip would be to put it in writing in a birth plan. Having that has a goal will also help mentally, and if the hospital staff is aware, they'll be much less inclined to try to push the idea of medication on her.
With all that said, it's always only a best case scenario. Be prepared to help make the decision to medicate if necessary.
hope that helps.
My wife is trying to get nitrous-oxide for the pain. In what they use in Europe, and it has many benefits. Hopefully it works out...
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/14/laughing-gas-childbirth_n_822657.html
I know I'm not a man, so I shouldn't be inserting myself here but I've found some useful information. I should also mentioned I've never gone through labor, so I don't know first hand. But! My sister recently had a hospital delivery with no meds and said what helped the most was walking prior to delivery. She said movement kept the pain away and relaxed everything. Also, atmosphere! I've done research and classes on this as an advocate for natural birth and Anth. minor. Anyway, creating a clam atmosphere should help; be loving and supportive, make sure no one says something like "it's going to get so much worse!" And this is a sweet one: empirical data suggests sincerely telling a woman she is beautiful and strong during delivery increases good hormones and decreases bad, pain associated ones.
Hope no one takes offense to my input, and best of luck!
Depending on what your wife likes when she's in pain, let her focus on deep breathing during the contractions. I knew I wanted an epidural but I also wanted to last as long as possible. When I'm in pain like that I get super quiet and either am really still or slightly rock back and forth. So discuss with her how she envisions handling the pain and help her with it.
I agree with keeping a calm atmosphere. If you freak out so will she and all is lost. Make sure your nurses know your plan as they are a huge help and the main people you will see for most of the laboring process. I was induced so had to stay on monitors but movement would help too, even if its just a pregnancy ball she can bounce on.
Just remember to keep an open mind at all cost. Also let your wife know that if she needs pain meds don't be ashamed to get them. As soon as I got my epi I was able to relax and store up energy for pushing so it does have its advantages.
Good luck to you both and I hope she makes it through with y'all's plan!
TTC #1 since 3/2011
DX: anovulatory and severe MFI
DH is a testicular cancer survivor
IVF#1 w/ICSI lupron, gonal f, ovidrel
ER 6/15/12 6R 6M 6F! ET 6/20/12
Beta #1: 154 Beta #2: 509 Beta #3: 7326
Baby Boy born 3/1/2013
TTC#2: 6/2014 all testing came back normal
IVF#2 (#1 for LO#2) 9/2014 - 17R 10M 10F 4 blasts frozen on day 6.
FET #1 10/15/14 - Beta #1: 216 Beta #2: 823
Baby Boy born 7/10/2015
Be VERY supportive, be encouraging, tell her what a great job she is doing during labor. If she is set about no meds, do not ask her constantly if she wants the epidural. Tell the nurse staff not to offer it, if she wants it, you will ask for it. Walking around the room helps speed contractions along.
Is she planning to have a doula? A doula is a labor coach, mine helped with pain management and different labor positions to make it easier. She did NOT take over my husbands job but she had different strategies to help with pain. Strangely, my doula spent hours with her fist in my lower spine. Without it the pain was unbearable. If no doula, there are different methods you can read about or take classes on. The Bradley Method was the one I read up on which focuses on the father as the birth coach.
If she changes her mind and asks for the epidural, she may feel like a failure. Be VERY encouraging here as well. I was in labor for 17 hours, I was stuck for 5 hours at the worst possible time and failed to progress. Without the epidural and pitocin which speeds labor along I would have had a csection. My husband was AMAZING so I hope this advice helps you with your wife like he helped me.
Congratulations to you and your wife on the little one!
I would suggest reading up on the pro's and con's yourself and see why she doesnt want them for yourself.
My wife gave birth at home with no meds.. one of the reasons was because, once you take meds... you are in for a rough ride. It will actually hurt more and your wife will be more likely to have a C-Section.
Its a vicious cycle. epi turns into petocin which calls for more epi which calls for more petocin which stresses the baby and the mother out... next thing you know, you are having an "intervention" because things arent going as planned... like they shouldnt when you introduce all those chemicals in a stressful environment.
Also, on thing to think of... Giving birth is one way for a woman to feel like a woman... its a very empowering thing. Most women actually feel deprived and disconnected from the baby if they go the med route. If you force meds on her, you are pretty much telling her, you dont trust her or her body.... will never end well...
Go natural. but find out why for yourself.
There are entire birthing classes devoted to this topic. Check with her OB/GYN and register to take that course. You should be taking a course anyway, but find one that focuses on your type of birth plan.
You don't. All you can do is be her support once it starts to go down. Meds...no meds...that is her decision alone, so it is your job to support that decision. You cannot "get her to her goal".
Labor can be very, very intense. The classes will prepare you for that possibility, when she will be at her weakest.
How do you know most women feel deprived if they end up taking meds? I don't feel deprived at all. Oh and by the way chemicals didn't stress my body out pushing something out of my vagina did. It's a stressful situation. It is a decision that the woman has to make herself.
This seems pretty generalized, and I imagine a lot of women are going to jump on this. Also, I am amazed by how much you know about the woman's way of thinking, especially when it comes to childbirth.
Now my wife, who went through 48 hours of being induced, which means that she had a pad of meds stuck up her three times, because the second day it fell out of her....EXTREMELY PAINFUL to the point of tears streaming down her face. So 48 hours of that hell before labor begins, which was another 10 hours.
Now, you are telling me I should have gone this route with her???????
Trust me, my wife did not miss ONE SECOND of "feeling like a woman" was that epi was in and working. Especially as she threw up the last two pushes because of the near 72 hour experience. Many times an epi will help avoid a c-section, which is major surgery with an extended recovery time. Perhaps you should find out "why" about epi's before you start judging them without whatever science it is you are leaning on here.
Forgive me, I didnt know this would create such an issue. I only know what I went through. What people I surrounded myself with went through. and in truth, I know nothing at all.
From my point of view, sometimes meds is the way to go, if its a complicated, high risk birth of course you go to the hospital.
My only point was this, from the many women that I talked too (15 or so, from our groups) they all said the same thing. These are their words not mine, when they went the med route, there was a certain degree of disconnect from mother to newborn. When they did the non med route, that wasnt there, they were flooded with and I qoute "love". I dont dare try to analyze what they meant by that. I was just passing on knowledge that I gained from my experience. It wasnt just 1 mother who said this, it was ALL of them. They all said the same thing.
Keep in mind, Hospitals exist to create money and prevent lawsuits. If there is even a small chance that things arent going according to plan, they will induce you (pitocin) and once you head down that road, expect a couple more epi shots and and a couple more pitocin. Pitocin is given to induce child birth, it completely overcomes the womens natural production "oxtocin" which is essential for childbirth and the feeling of "love".
Once again I could be wrong, I got my degree in Math, so I may even come off as a little callous. I apologize if I did. The whole point of childbirth is for your own experience of it. I was telling my side of it.
I was trying not to tell anyone what they should have done, I apologize if that is how I came out. I was trying to educate someone on something I, at the time, knew nothing of.
One last thing before I go...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin
if you replace a natural chemical with a synthetic one... how can you expect it give you the same results.
Again, I am not a woman, I have no idea what its like to give birth, I have no concept of the pain. I am not pretending too. I have had many, many, many women all tell me the same thing.
If your wife wants to go no meds, support her by finding out about it. Learning the different things you can do, how you can make it better for her..
The answers people are giving you shouldnt be, "gently persuade her to go meds". That to me, is undermining your relationship.
skii...
I think the majority of women go into their birth experience wanting to go natural. But, as I shared in the case of my wife, sometimes that simply is not possible.
It is because we now have the advances that we do that women are able to have an epi and get the relief they need so they can focus on labor and delivery without the pain and lack fo focus that may set in because of that. All of the meds you are railing against here were instrumental in my wife having a successful induction, labor and delivery. Again, close to three days of work she went through before giving birth. And we had no choice, as the baby was putting pressure on my wife's kidney's, putting her at risk, big time.
So while your wife, and the 15 ladies in your "group" were able to have a labor experience in a natural way, there are just as many women out there who are in a labor situation that requires an epi.
Your post just comes across as admonishing women who take the epi, and it goes even further by claiming they missed out on their childbirth experience as a result. You are assuming a lot when you take that stance.....
My cousin is an MD and his wife is a doctor of biology. She gave birth to 4 kids. Each one was a planned epi. She did not miss out on one thing as a result of her decision. My cousin was not trying to sell a service to his wife because he works at that hospital, and hospitals are in the business of making money. They made the decison based on her feeling about her own child birth experience. You have to remember, what works for your wife, and those 15 women, is not a clear cut example of how all women approach this.
Labor and delivery is a very, very unpredictable situation. At one point my wife was on oxygen to make sure our boy was getting enough as the two of them were working through the contractions. You cannot predict such things happening, and you cannot predict how long a woman will need to work through labor and delivery before complications arise. You fail to address that fact as well, in relationship to pain medication.
ladyjenna13..
I am sorry, most of what I speak, is from other womens mouths not mine. I do apologize came across "rudely". (for lack of the better word, I am a math person and have horrible command of the english language)
I too, have a huge part of my family in the healthcare industry. I understand why people get it done. I also believe in certain circumstances it is absolutely necessary. But I also believe that for 70% (roughly thoughtout estimate) it is completely unwarranted.
Child birth is completely unpredictable. I completely agree.. Forcing all babies to born the same way is not the answer either. 40 weeks is a made up timetable. Babies are not supposed to be born at 40 weeks exactly... Its just not how life is supposed to be.
This much I do know. Hospitals protect themselves, at the expense of the patient. Not for the patient. If it were up to a hospital right now, I wouldn't have my son. (he miscarried in the 4th week). Epi's, pitocin are not for the patient. They are for the hospitals, and they happen to have a semi-positive effect on the mother. The hospital needs a way to get the baby out at 40 weeks not for the baby, but to protect themselves. Sure their are complications 2 weeks plus or minus the due date. I am in no way arguing that. but the fact is this. Pitocin is made to get the baby out now, on the hospitals timetable. to protect themselves. The epi was devised to help with the pain of childbirth plus the pitocin. It was not devised for the hospital. To protect them from the pain that goes to the mother from forcing the baby out when its not ready.
Now a days women are using epi's without pitocin or pitocin without epis.. that is fine. but the fact is this, a womans body knows the difference between real and fake. If you inject her with a fake hormone, she is going to know deep down inside. I cant speak for those women I chatted with and talked too. But it isnt far fetched to believe, that the feeling they were supposed to be feeling was replaced by a fake one because of the pitocin.
Again, I am just saying what comes logically to me. Certainly every experience is and should be different.
I really do apologize if I came off in a derogatory manner. I really do, I meant no offense. I just hear the one side (med side) and I was trying to let someone know there was another (non med).
skii,
you did not come across as rude, so you do not need to apologize for expressing yourself here. I do appreciate the gesture, however.
I feel you are making a lot of assumptions as you weigh the effect of the use of pain meds and induction meds. You are generalizing in a way that removes the very unique nature of childbirth from woman to woman, and I think that is where you start to lose me in this debate.
We did not make it to week 40 with our son before my wife was forced to induce. At 39 weeks it was determined that his size and weight was creating a toxic situation for my wife's kidney function. She had not dialated at all at that point, so meds were needed for that. The process was slow and very painful for her, so by the time labor rolled around, her energy, and ability to deal with pain, was greatly diminished. That was exclusively her situation.
Many women have to have c-sections, at which point, that is full surgery with full surgery meds. In many cases, those situations started with natural birth in mind. Before advances in science, when such a procedure was not an option, many women and babies were lost.
Science is a wonderful thing, especially when it comes to childbirth and infant mortality rates. In my opinion, the science that you are so against (apparently) has been instrumental in allowing so many babies to be born without the trama and stress that does great damage to both mother and child. It is not, as you put it, a hospital trying to profit on the backs of the patient. Those meds, as I witnessed firsthand when my wife was dealing with her experience, created an environment that allowed her to go through that event with minimal risk to herself, and to our child. Without that epi, I do not believe that my wife would have had the strength or mindset to keep working after the 48 hours of hell she went through being induced.
That is a blessing to me, and I assure you my wife did not feel that she was missing out on some sort of instinctual moment because she was on an epi. Her joy and compassion for the moment was very real, and it was instinctual to the point that not even two minutes after he popped out he was feeding on the breast of a very happy, maternal women who was totally in the moment.
@Ladyjenna13.
dont get me wrong, I love science. I am not one of those peace love hippies that you see touting the natural birth movement. I am a die hard science guy. I have my bachelors of science in Math. I plan on going back to school for my masters and fingers crossed ph.d. in statistics.
I completely understand there is a time and a place for all the technological advances in birthing. Your wife was one of them. I am not arguing that.
I realize with my abuse of english that I never fully stated my thought. First thing is Hospitals are in it for money, I did not mean it like they try to abuse you and take advantage of you. I meant it more in the "Loss prevention" way. We were 2 weeks late and had a scheduled ultrasound for a Monday @1pm to make sure everything was going okay... at 7am that morning she went into labor. Had we been going to a doctor, she would have never been given the chance for a natural birth. Because he was so big, they would have mandated a C-Section. Which greatly reduces the chances of having another child.
All of that would have been done, not for my son, not for my wife but to protect themselves from lawsuits. I got a step dad that is a heart surgeon. my mother has been working as a nurse for the past 20 years.. they all tell me the same thing. Everything that is done is to protect the hospital from lawsuits. Everything. Fetal monitoring, pitocin, no eating rule, the interventions... everything.
Now your case most likely required medical care because you needed it. That is what hospitals are there for. To help with complications and high risk patients.
I am not saying hospitals are bad or even evil. They are what they are. If you need their services for a medical emergency, take it. If you dont, you shouldnt. Giving birth is not a medical emergency.
I am not going to comment on everyone. Of course I know nothing, I am a man posting on a men's board about birth.
I only know what I was told by my wife and other women. If you have an issue with what I am talking about, you need to take it up with women that have had both meds and no meds birth. They all have said the same thing. Everyone woman I have ever talked too.
I am not trying to insult anyone. I am not trying to tell anyone they did gave birth the wrong way. I am merely trying to pass on knowledge that I have learned.
Of course there are exceptions but giving me a few details of your labor and telling me that I am completely wrong, kinda has nothing to do with my point.
2 final things for me..
1) it is not far fetched for me, as a man talking to another man on a mens board, to believe that if you put a synthetic hormone (pitocin) to override a womans natural hormone (oxytocin). that a woman will notice a difference and it will affect the resulting birth.
2) the healthcare industry puts themselves over their patients. every time all the time. Take my experience for example, we were told at 5 weeks she had miscarried by a hospital because she was bleeding. We were told, if the miscarriage hadn't fully flushed out in 3 days were to come back and have to go through surgery. We didnt go back and 8 months later we gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. The hospital was going to abort my 5 week old baby, not because they were sure is was a miscarriage, but in the chance that it had miscarried, it was better for them to preform the surgery to prevent any lawsuits in case that it was a miscarry that wasnt properly dealt with.
when I told my mother (a nurse of 20 years) her first response was "yeah, I have often wondered how many people they do that to, that dont need it"
Again, hospitals arent bad or evil places. they just force standard uniform regulations on things that are anything but.
I think were you lost the crowd on this was when you stated that women who have meds during L/D miss out on bonding with their newborn during and following delivery as a result.
That really hit home with people personally. Surely you can see that. I know my wife worked her butt off for hours and hours to get through her L/D, so you kind of diminish the value of that when you claim she did it all wrong, and the way she did it got in the way of her bonding with our son. That really rubs mother's the wrong way. since most mother's, not to mention father's, would fall on a knife for their children.
All the other stuff, about hospitals and profit at the cost of the patient....pure opinion based on the very small, limited experience that you have had and heard of. You are very entitled to that opinion.
But when you start talking about how the bonding between mother and child is less because of pain meds....that just rubs the wrong way, and is not in any way accurate for many millions of women in this country.
I know you get that....you appear very educated in your posts.
yeah, no doubt I went about this the wrong way,
I was just trying to help a dad with a question. But of course, my experience is completely different than everyone elses. I know that, and I wanted the dad to know there are multiple options with pros and cons with each.
when I first heard mothers talking about the difference between meds or no meds, it struck me as weird. To me love is not quantifiable... but their message was all the same, "they felt a deeper connection, they felt a deeper love..."
Which made me go out and ask more and more people about it. The end result was weird, I would only get answers out of mothers as soon as I told them that my wife and I were doing a natural birth. Once I told a mother that has done both that, she would say the same thing. There is a difference.
Now, sure its controversial but if there is actual truth to their message, I believe I should at least introduce people to the possibility of it.
Again, I don't believe hospitals are evil, they are more a victim of circumstance. If we could ever cap lawsuits, greatly reduce the size of uninsured citizens (not arguing politics) I am sure you will see a lot less meds, a lot less interventions, and a lot more women going full term. Because they are almost never needed except in emergency situations. What has once was the exception has now become the SOP.
but what science is figuring out, is the more scientific revelations are being introduced into the most natural of things, such as birth.. the more we, not science, are screwing it up.
"it is not far fetched for me, as a man talking to another man on a mens board, to believe that if you put a synthetic hormone (pitocin) to override a womans natural hormone (oxytocin). that a woman will notice a difference and it will affect the resulting birth."
Considering the drug you refer to was developed TO make a difference during L/D, this statement is not really proving anything. That is why it is administered to women who are in situations where nature needs a push, as our OB/GYN put it as we discussed the procedure. That difference, and the affect, do not default to NEGATIVE automatically. As with any drug or medical procedure, there is a segment of the population that will have a negative affect. That is why the patient has bloodwork done before and during, as well as being monitored at a very high level by multiple nurses and an MD.
And regardless of your feelings on this, this procedure is much more aligned with nature than having a c-section is, which is another reason why this drug is administered. A c-section is major surgery with a huge amount of trauma to a woman's body, and inducing looks to avoid that.
Some women can do natural birth, some women can't, and some women just don't want to. That is why WOMEN have a birth plan that works for them, and them alone.
Some people can go to the dentist and do it with just the needle. Some people need the gas first, or even to be knocked out completely.
I could go on and on......
The impact that has on their L/D experience is their's alone. It is nearly impossible to talk to 20, 50, 100, 1000 women and come up with the same reasons behind why they had L/D the way that they did, or will have.
Many mothers on this site have done it natural, and many have not. However, the first time I have ever read anything about the relationshipe between mother and child being harmed by meds being introduced into L/D was from you, a man, on a father's board.
That is odd to me......
I agree with you on everything you just said, with exception.
Pitocin was made to help mothers deliver babies that were running dangerously late. 2-3 weeks late. Now its being administered to help mothers deliver when the doctor says the baby is due.
I was not trying to assess risk, this whole thing started with a guy asking about what to do with his wife that doesn't want meds.
I said that I was told by many women that there is a difference between birth with meds against birth with no meds. the women all said "the felt a deeper love with their babies with no meds" then I told him to do research on his own.
I said it because all the women who told me this, said it so convincingly, that I in turn, believed that is the sole reason why everyone should have a natural birth if they can
please excuse my grammar... I tried really hard to make that last paragraph work. lol
That is not entirely true.
My wife needed labor induced because the baby was harming her health. So, when she was full term a blood test was given that confirmed the baby was causing toxins to enter into my wife's bloodstream because her kidney's and liver were not doing the job because the baby was putting to much pressure on those organs. There are also many, many other factors that are considered when an MD is considering inducing a mother.
I think you need to check your facts more...you are making a lot of assumptions that are simply unfounded.
I haven't even made assumptions to be unfounded. At least not in this thread lol. I am not arguing right, wrong.. Your wife needed pitocin, She had a medical emergency, right there, everything I have been talking about does not refer to you. These medical advances are for emergencies, I have not argued against that. I have argued against using medical emergency interventions for people without medical emergencies. I have also argued that a growing number of doctors are abusing the "interventions". Not just today, but since they have been invented.
For instance, I share the same birthday as 8 other people from the same doctor... why?? because that day was a Sunday and on Monday my mothers doctor was to go on Vacation. I was born 2 weeks early. It was unnecessary. As a result, my mother looks back at that day as one of the worst in her life. Because she suffered a 22 hour labor, she left me and my dad when I was 1. Dropped me off at my aunts house because she just couldnt "deal with me".
Probably why I am adamantly defending my point of view...
" I was born 2 weeks early. It was unnecessary. As a result, my mother looks back at that day as one of the worst in her life. Because she suffered a 22 hour labor, she left me and my dad when I was 1. Dropped me off at my aunts house because she just couldnt "deal with me"."
Off Topic.....
I don't know how old you are, but when you are sporting a bunch of gray hairs like me, you will know that the above is simply an excuse for selfish behavior. It has NOTHING TO DO with your birth.
I have a birthmother...she gave me up when I was 2.
Years later after my search to find her, she still tried to hold onto that lame excuse of "I just couldn't deal with you" to protect her from the shame she really felt for failing at being a mother, and not letting her own shortcomings and issues interfere with raising a child. Don't let that woman pin that crap on your birth. I let my BM know that was not going to fly with me, and it never did. A mother who loves her child would never, ever say that as an excuse for their abandonment.
I was adopted by real parents, who express unconditional love to me each and everyday....still. And I strive to be that to my child everyday.
Don't let that woman off the hook by accepting that excuse for her horrible behavior. She bailed, and that was her decision, and it has nothing at all to do with her birth experience and everything to do with HER.
I just felt that I had to share that with you to give you a different perspective on your unique life experience. I come from that as well....
Thought this might lighten the mood of this thread a little......
https://tampa.cbslocal.com/2013/03/07/doctor-threatens-to-call-cops-on-pregnant-woman-if-she-doesnt-have-emergency-c-section/
Thanks for sharing, I have the greys too. I have always known her actions were selfish in motive. I don't blame my birth for her actions. If I blame anyone for anything, its the doctor for being selfish and not letting me enjoy my last few weeks of cramped bliss lol.
It was just something that was told to me, and with the conviction it was told to me and my wifey, I believed it to be too taboo a subject to bring up in natural conversation... Because of everything it insinuates. I was trying to bring a piece of knowledge I feel I found by accident, to gain more exposure.
I didnt want to discredit anyone's story because we all have our own and that is the true beauty in this world. I truly believe we should all have our own different story and different insight we get to share.
Sure, after being told by all those women, it makes me wonder about my past, and my present. Does it make scientific sense? yes. Can it be feasible? yes. Is it fact? I have no idea. I don't think anyone will ever know. Is it something I feel I can help make this world a better place by sharing? yes. which is why I shared it.
I knew I was going to bring out the sharks but I am not a troll. I did it, because to me, the possibility does exist.
As soon as I started getting feedback, I knew I had to weather the storm, because everybody saw what I said differently. I asked this same question in another board on this site and everyone jumped to their own conclusions, starting putting words in my mouth. Projecting themselves on to me, when all I asked was a simple yes or no question.
Its a big subject that in my opinion does not garner enough exposure. It brings out feelings of guilt, disgust, anger. There is a huge possibility I could be entirely wrong. I don't, for a second, discount that thought. The women I talked to could have very easily described different times of their life as opposed to the actual births.
I actually thought that was the case, due to what I call the "flock mentality" (every body in one room agreeing to the same thing, in order to fit in) I finally bought in to the possibility of it after someone at my work described the same feeling almost 3 months later. Then one of my moms friends told me the same thing after I asked her and about it.
I get why its a touchy subject. Nature is not fair. Not fair at all. Nature does care about me, about you. Its cold and harsh to every living thing on the planet. People with with medical emergencies are robbed of the chance. So when someone says they were thinking of going the intervention route reserved for people that need it. I will naturally go against it and think of the best reason why.
I like ya Ladyjenna, I actually miss conversing with someone that can hold a conversation. I am sure we will disagree again but in the meantime, stay warm my friend, spring is almost on us!
Dude, that is straight crazy.
I had an epidural, I still felt contractions but they were easier to bear. It literally is as simple as that. It didn't knock me out or alter my mental state so why it would weaken the bond with my child....I have no idea. I really should just walk away but it is so offensive to read a man tell me that my bond with my child is weaker because I had an epidural. You have never experienced birth, you will never know what it is like.
Some women have weaker bonds with their children than others. Mental illness, marital issues with the father, being less than thrilled about the pregnancy, poverty can all be reasons for this. Every woman is different, every birth is different.
I expect you're used to people listening to you, you seem to be pretty impressed with your educational background. This is one area where you need to listen to women. We are the ones who know. Myself and a few other ladies have chimed in but for some reason you still think you know better. You don't. Period.