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possible BM lead?

horseyk2001horseyk2001 member
in Adoption

It's been awhile since I've been on here.. not much news since January, ,when we applied for adoption until now!  Today I talked to a business assosciate, and she had heard of a girl wanting to give her baby up for adoption and was looking for potential parents.  All I know so far is she 2 months pregnant and 22 yrs old and lives about 5 hrs from us.  This business assoc. asked if I'd be interested, I said yes and am now waiting to hear back from this girl potentially.  Our plan was to do domestic infant adoption through our agency.  We havn't even done our homestudy yet.  I called the agency and they said they could help us through this process as well.  I just was wondering if you guys have any tips on contacting someone about their baby, and if you went through an agency still or a private attorney?  What should we watch out for, or do?  I just want to be cautious so we're not let down.  Thanks!

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Re: possible BM lead?

  • IRRIRR member
    Either way you need to complete your HS ASAP. My states requires that we use an agency, but we are trying to locate an EM on our own and then find an agency to work with in the state the EM lives.  Two reasons for this.  First agency fees will be lower, (but we also have lawyer fees), second, I think if we went through an agency the chances of us being shown to potential BM's would be low based on our age (we are both over 40, with DH pushing 50) so we would rather take matters into our own hands and not be passed over because an EM states an age preference.  If you have actually located a potential BM on your own I would perhaps just use the agency for the home study and work with a lawyer for the rest of the process, unless the agency tells you that they will not charge you the same fee to work with them as they do other PAP's who they advertise for, etc.  JMO.  GL.
    image

    Failed Matches - December 2012, May 2013, December 2013
    Moved on to  gestational surrogacy with a family friend who is our angel and due 7/23/15


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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    Our agency had a track for "identified adoptions", if we happened to find an e-mom on our own. They would fast-track a homestudy and the entire fee would be lower. Considering she's only 2 months along, I would think you have plenty of time to get the homestudy done if this ends up being your match.

    It's up to you if you want to continue with the agency or go with a private attorney. The advantage of an agency is that the e-mom may have more counseling opportunities with them. But ask details about how it would work.

    GL

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  • horseyk2001horseyk2001 member
    thank you guys for the tips!  It's really appreciated!  I hope it works out for us!
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