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Single Parents
pregokat
member
more venting, I don't have ppl to talk with about this- advice appreciated :)
pregokat
member
So I'm a single Mom
the last words I said to the father were "I pray to god I never see your f-ing face again" (famous last words eh?)
When I found out I was pregnant, I told him through email (the only way I have of getting ahold of him) and he agreed to meet up with me but then no showed (twice!!)
I knew when the test was positive that I'd be in this alone through the whole deal.
Anyways the last time I spoke with him through email he said "I'm going to laugh when you get a dna test and have to pay for it because its negative, i'm not physically able to have children" (all the while he is living with a pregnant girlfriend, and he doesn't know I know)
So I went and filed for paternity, and child support. I wasn't going to but with his audacity I decided I wasn't going to allow him be irresponsible with my son while playing daddy to his new son... I had a meeting with the child support enforcement people and they said that they had talked to him on the phone and of course he is requesting paternity. I can't blame anyone just for the fact that an honest guy wouldn't want to pay child support to a child that isn't his... anyways he's not an honest guy..
So today I lurked his new girlfriends face book page and she has a picture of their new son, born this past week.. Just 2 and a half months younger than my son! and he looks so much like my son! I'm just irritated to all get out that he's denying it and I had to stop myself from writing her an email and sending her a picture of my baby and asking her if she knows about this at all... I know that it'd just be more drama and she most likely wouldn't believe me at all, and most likely IF she knows anything about me and my son, its all his twisted story. So I just have to wait for the paternity test and deal with the fact that he is a P.O.S. he even comment on the picture of his son "I love my baby boy so much" its blood boiling!
anyways any advice or help is appreciated. sorry to be so long winded. I just don't have ppl to talk to about this
This discussion has been closed.
Re: more venting, I don't have ppl to talk with about this- advice appreciated :)
I usually lurk, but I had to speak up on your post..
I have no advice, but I do want to tell you that I think you rock..You are showing how responsible and mature you are by not causing drama with BD's gf and other son..Good for you mama..
Keep you head up..and as ppl said - focus on your little one, enjoy this time with him..
I think you "rock" too! lol. I think the PP said everything perfectly.
Gosh, I was feeling jealous of my Father or be getting back with his EX and envisioning him playing house with our baby and her! But I cant imagine the emotions your going through!! Im sorry your dealing with this and Kudos to you for handling it so well.Do what you have to do to get the paternity test done etc. I would say in time He will gets his.. When he has to come up with $ to give you his lies will come to surface and he'll have to deal with everything and she'll know! Im guessing you don't know her at all, and caan't really anticipate her reaction to everything. Maybe she'll want the kids to have a relationship since they are siblings, or Maybe she'll be angry and wont. Or maybe it'll take time for her to grasp everything. ?? You seem sensible and I think you'll be fine regardless of what happens. What I struggle with is being prepared for the type of father he will be and being the bigger person if he doesnt treat me well. Im a very sensitive person and easily get hurt so I try to anticipate possible situations and being prepared to remain calm.
STay strong. Im getting counseling so I can deal with all my Issues since I don't really have a strong support group. You have to take good care of yourself so you can be the best MOM possible : )
Good Luck
VERY similar situation here. EX cheated on me and got me and his now current gf pregnant at the same time. His other baby is 2.5 months older than my DD. HE also did the "its not mine" blah blah nonsense. I filed for CS he got his paternity test which came back positive and is now 7 grand behind on cs. At times it is hurtful to know he plays loving daddy to one but not the other but i know what a horrible person he can be and say it is for the best. HIs family has also never reached out to me and neither him or his family has ever sent as much as a bday card for DD.
It took a while but the anger has started to go away. I am seeking counseling to deal with everything but havent found the time to go yet. Just talking to people about everything helps alot. Feel free to ever PM or page me. I mostly lurk but sometimes post
It's understandable that you would be angry, wouldn't we all? But the best wisdom I can give is: Good Riddance! He's clearly not the type of person you would want to be a father to your son. Be happy you dodged that bullet. Think about all the parenting decisions you won't have to include him in. I agree with filing for child support; he helped make the baby, he has to help pay for it. Focus on your son and providing him with a wonderful childhood.
As for the FB stalking (oh the dangers of our time,) I would recommend blocking at least the girlfriend, if not him too, so that you won't be tempted to FB stalk. It will just drive you crazy. (I know I had to do this with my ex husband and his new wife.)
I think I commented on one of your posts the other day- I am glad you are going through the court. It is the right thing to do. They will require him to take a paternity test and when he is wrong he will have to pay for it along with supporting his child.
Thank you all for the support!
I'm waiting for them to send me the time/date for me to take little Mr. in for the DNA testing.
I'm assuming he's going to not show. Or keep rescheduling as much as he can. Or if he does show up, I know I'm most likely never going to get a dime of child support. Good thing my state not only garnishes wages, but also taxes and lottery winnings, and they will throw him in jail for non payment as well.
I pray that him and his family never try for visitation or custody or anything. His parents were arrested for embezzelment when he was a teenager. His father is now in prison for involuntary manslaughter for running a red light while on heroin and killing a woman. His oldest brother has 4 kids all in state custody because he is a drug addict and sells pills. His older sister is a heroin dealer & her toddler picked up a heroin tab thing off the floor & has brain damage & learning disabled now. His other brother is an addict as well and has active warrants for stealing. Baby daddy himself has an active warrant for failure to appear multiple times.
I knew NONE of this when my child was concieved.. Only found it out after the fact.. Do you ever have those moments where you wish someone would have warned you??
Anyways I'm in school, I work, and I'm drug & alcohol free. I'm a 4.0 student, and active volunteer in my community. I don't have a criminal history..
I worry that him or his family will file for visitation or custody- but with everything he has against him... and with everything I have counting for me... I hope he'd never get anything awarded to him.
wish me luck though
thank you ladies for your support, sharing stories and everything
With all the crap on his family's record I wouldn't worry about them getting anything. Clearly many of them are irresponsible and I wouldn't leave a child in their care. The court won't either- the most they would get is supervised visits. Also, and maybe I'm just a biitch but I would alert the police that your bd is scheduled to have a dna test done. They can pick him up when he's finished for that active warrant. If he doesn't show than at least they will be made aware of the situation