"you better get crackin"

Jenster · December 2008

That's what one of my IL's with a 1 yr old said last week. They wanted to know why we don't have children yet, and they said we'd "better get crackin because we're going to end up being too old as our kids grow up". When I told DH later that it was an awfully rude comment, he said I take things the wrong way. Did I? Is it just that I'm TTC and it hit a nerve?

(I'm 30 and TTC #1 cycle 4)

mrsmel · December 2008

i think anyone telling you and dh how/when to have children is rude.

ler4ik · December 2008

I think your DH is just being a boy and yes, it is rude!

MrsCarroll.6-10-07 · December 2008

mrsmel:
i think anyone telling you and dh how/when to have children is rude.

I agree. If you can provide a loving, stable home for your children at any age, who cares how old you are.

julie71406 · December 2008

I think it sounds very rude! You better get crackin? Really?

bannedmonkey · December 2008

It's incredibly rude. Too bad you didn't have one of us with you to ::throat punch:: them.

julisuz · December 2008

do they know you're TTC? ?cos sometimes people just say stupid things. ?my MIL said the other day "it's really easy to get pg" and I got so upset but she doesn't know we're TTC and she only said that cos she's a HS teacher and all of her frickin' 16 yr old students are KU. ?I think it hit a nerve cos TTC is a stressful time but anyone telling you that you're getting old to have children is really really rude. ?She should keep her opinions to herself.

Nykki Thomaston · December 2008

now this is a great introduction! I am impressed

Redrose101307 · December 2008

yeah it's rude people who aren't TTC usually have no idea that it is though

Jenster · December 2008

Thank you! I haven't been approched like that before and I didn't know what to say.

FlipFlopChick · December 2008

You're only 30!! Yeah, I think they stepped out of line with that comment.

MrsBro6116 · December 2008

I hate shite like that.... Angry

Jenster · December 2008

No one knows we're TTC. We happen to be the last ones on my DH's side without children, so the ILs are starting to joke/inquire a bit and I don't like they way they're doing it!

staycee · December 2008

why do people open their mouths like that? How do they know you haven't been trying for 2 years and have had no luck with medical intervention? They don't know. Idiots.

Newspaper Articles · December 2008

I'm 37 and I have a cousin who's 28 and she tells me this all the time. She thinks I'm getting too old to have children. I told her to mind her own business, I will have children when I'm ready not because you think I'm old.

julisuz · December 2008

Jenster:
No one knows we're TTC.? We happen to be the last ones on my DH's side without children, so?the ILs?are starting to joke/inquire a bit and I don't like they way they're doing it!

well they should keep their mouths shut?

Lizard2022 · December 2008

I think it is rude. Even before we were married, my MIL was telling me we should hurry up and have kids before I'm "too old and regret not being able to ". And I just turned 28. People are dumb-@sses.. I'm sorry.

lbeardslee · December 2008

I would be very irritated. It's annoying when people think they should tell you when to have kids. Like it's that easy!

PS-At my wedding, my grandmother didn't say "Congratulations" when we hugged her. She said, "Have a baby." Loudly. In front of all 60 people. Not fun.

Sirenella4 · December 2008

It's totally rude!! And here I was thinking I was the only one who felt that way. Our church members and my coworkers and are especially bad about saying stuff like that. I'm fiercely private about this stuff, not even my immediate family knows we were even TTC, let alone pg yet. But they know this and don't bug me. As for everyone else, how do they know we're not trying and might be having a hard time? Fortunately we didn't but I know plenty of ppl who do. I'm 29, and I have a friend who is 2 years younger who's had 3 m/c already. I can't even imagine how she would feel if someone told her she needed to "get crackin' " None of your fvcking business is how I'd prefer to reply! GRRRRR!

Oh, and my second fave is that as soon as you have your first, they ask well when are you gonna have the next one? Seriously?

wakko · December 2008

Yup, totally rude, but not unusual. It's weird how many people feel like it's appropriate to tell someone when they should be having kids. I get that crap all the time too (I'm only 31 for crying out loud).
What we need is a good comeback for that sort of comment. Something not over the top ("mind your own business asshat" comes to mind), but something pointed so that the speaker knows that their comment was rude and out of line. Anyone......?

Jenster · December 2008

wakko:
Yup, totally rude, but not unusual. It's weird how many people feel like it's appropriate to tell someone when they should be having kids. I get that crap all the time too (I'm only 31 for crying out loud).
What we need is a good comeback for that sort of comment. Something not over the top ("mind your own business asshat" comes to mind), but something pointed so that the speaker knows that their comment was rude and out of line. Anyone......?

That was my first thought, too, to say "mind your own business!". I just change the topic, but I wish I had a line I could use instead.

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