What is your hang up?

becasmeca · March 2013

Susie's post got me thinking...

We all have experiences from our life! Are there any past experiences that give you a hangup/sensitivities that will highlight a change of course for your LO?

Example:

1.Susie dislikes the RI habit of dropping the R, so she is mindful to get T to pronounce them.

2. I had 2 rows of teeth as a kid; my hangup is dental care and making sure Bo has a healthy smile.

Jcraul · March 2013

Dental care & Diet. I try to make sure we serve veggies with each meal. Drives DH nuts but I think it is important. We eat more fruit now that D is here too. I think our whole diet has improved.

I have terrible teeth do to lack of pariental hygiene help growing up and poor diet plus don't get me started on the ortho and jaw surgery.

We are very mindful of D's teeth and dental care and will continue to be. I don't want her to every have to experience as much time in the dental chair as Mama does. Plus don't get me started on the expense of it all. Whoa!

becasmeca · March 2013

My mom used to wake me up by turning the lights on, flinging the covers off of me, and yelling "Rebecca....Rebecca!" It was not a good feeling!

I will NOT be waking Bowen up like that! His Dad might Wink , but not this lady! I am extra sensitive when I go get Bo in the morning... We smile and sing our "way up in the sky the little bird flies song", and talk about what a great day we will have!

solsburyhill · March 2013

becasmeca:

My mom used to wake me up by turning the lights on, flinging the covers off of me, and yelling "Rebecca....Rebecca!" It was not a good feeling!

I will NOT be waking Bowen up like that! His Dad might , but not this lady! I am extra sensitive when I go get Bo in the morning... We smile and sing our "way up in the sky the little bird flies song", and talk about what a great day we will have!

Ha! My mom used to yell "I'm pouring the milk!" because I HATE soggy cereal, lol.

Ms5586 · March 2013

I won't let him hear DH and I yell if we're disagreeing. We rarely yell (I'm the yeller though, so it's mostly on me). My dad used to yell when he was drunk, and it absolutely terrified me, not understanding the words, but knowing the tone was downright mean. I will ALWAYS protect J from those kinds of situations. I still have conflict issues.

solsburyhill · March 2013

My hang up is manipulation. My mom thought her life growing up was the greatest ever so she wanted me to be a remake of that vs. me being my own person. She was constantly manipulating me into doing what SHE wanted me to do. Whenever I tried to rebel I acted impulsively and made stupid decisions because I was never given the tools to make wise decisions. At almost 30 I still can't make a decision on my own! I want to support my children in what THEY want to do, to encourage them to be independant thinkers, to make their own decisions - and teach them how to make smart decisions. This is really important to me.

solsburyhill · March 2013

Ms5586:
I won't let him hear DH and I yell if we're disagreeing. We rarely yell (I'm the yeller though, so it's mostly on me). My dad used to yell when he was drunk, and it absolutely terrified me, not understanding the words, but knowing the tone was downright mean. I will ALWAYS protect J from those kinds of situations. I still have conflict issues.

Oh man, don't get me started on how AWFUL my mother was at putting me in the middle of her and dad fighting. It was SOOOO bad.

I find myself saying things like "bummer, dad's a party pooper" to Augie and hate myself for it.

My Dad was really bad at making my mom out to be the mean one. We'd be sitting on the couch eating Doritos watching MTV and my mom would yell at us to clean up something and dad would say mom ruins everything. Talk about mind games! I never want to do that to my children but it's so etched in my psyche that it slips out! I hate that : (

My mom would say crap like "you side with Dad because you love him more than me" and then cry. So then I'd have to comfort her ... the child comforting a parent AFTER the parents just put the child through a fight. So.Bad.

becasmeca · March 2013

solsburyhill:
My hang up is manipulation. My mom thought her life growing up was the greatest ever so she wanted me to be a remake of that vs. me being my own person. She was constantly manipulating me into doing what SHE wanted me to do. Whenever I tried to rebel I acted impulsively and made stupid decisions because I was never given the tools to make wise decisions. At almost 30 I still can't make a decision on my own! I want to support my children in what THEY want to do, to encourage them to be independant thinkers, to make their own decisions - and teach them how to make smart decisions. This is really important to me.

This just gave me goosies!

You WILL teach augie to be his own person and a free/ good decision maker. It makes me smile knowing there will be a bunch of little men running around feeling empowered to be themselves.. own it-love it... and hopefully help others! That is exactly what I am trying to teach Bowen. To own his life, thoughts, and feelings and evaluate how his life can affect another. If he is able to critically think like this.. then job well done for me!

Ms5586 · March 2013

becasmeca:

To own his life, thoughts, and feelings and evaluate how his life can affect another. If he is able to critically think like this.. then job well done for me!

I absolutely love this. I think this is my parenting goal.

Beca, you should be a writer! You have such an amazing way with words.

solsburyhill · March 2013

Ms5586:
becasmeca:

To own his life, thoughts, and feelings and evaluate how his life can affect another. If he is able to critically think like this.. then job well done for me!

I absolutely love this. I think this is my parenting goal.

Beca, you should be a writer! You have such an amazing way with words.

Agreed!

linzica · March 2013

Because I felt left out alot as a kid, I really hope to encourage good friendships for Q. I also have my back up really high about his cousins treating him poorly like mine did, or when my brother has kids, him treating his little cousins badly. I am going to do my best to teach my son kindness and confidence, both in equal measure. (like that's possible)

mnewlee · March 2013

I love this thread. How great is it that we can stop and be mindful of what we're instilling in our kids and can make sure positive.

My hang up is following through. My parents never made me finish anything I started if I didn't want to. I quite band, piano, and ballet (I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting) when they got hard. I'm not going to let G give up when things don't come naturally for her. That's how you grow!

Food is another big hang up for me. I had a lot of older foster sisters growing up and I'd always hear about them dieting, obsessing, and the awful "How fat am I!?" I was very conscious of my weight and body from a young age and I refuse to let G be like that. I want to show her a relationship with food where you eat the right things to be strong and healthy. Not worry about whats going to make you fat/slim etc.

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