Getting myself all worked up....(really long)

So, when first dd was born, life became extremely stressful. My husband was working for his crazy mother at the time who cannot understand anything that isn't all about her, I was exceedingly hyperthyroid and anxious/depressed, and at three months old my husband let my SIL move in, which caused major wars because she is a lazy pothead who did nothing but add more to my plate, take over about a third of my house rent- free, and bring three cats (I'm allergic) and fleas. And no one could understand why I was so upset, and basically just told me I was crazy and none of this could possibly be anything to be upset about.

Right before I found out I was pregnant, for dd's second birthday I had another run in with MIL. She started an organization in the community that I used to be involved with before I ran like hell....and where my husband worked. Once again she decided to publish stuff in the paper that was basically slander (libel?). No names, but I had specifically had issues with this in the past, and the entire point of the publication was how she does everything for this place and no one else ever did anything. I told her that since that was how she felt she could refrain from her responsibility of ruining my dd's birthday and not go. She complained through the entire first birthday party and complains that she has to close her organization for birthday parties to begin with and basically if you aren't talking about her or her issues, she's even more miserable. I was dreading her presence anyways, and I decided that she wasn't going to ruin my daughter's day. I doubt she even wanted to go but no one except me has ever told her no in her family. So when I told her she wasnt wanted there...she fired my husband.

I have had nothing to do with her since then. My husband talks to her a little, but there has been a big drop off from when he worked with her. MIL has never gone out of her way to be a member of the family.....if you wanted to see her you went to her "work", no ifs ands or buts. A few times that I took dd there to see dh, MIL did not even get up to say hi, and even yelled at dh once when he told her to go say hi to her granddaughter. I doubt my dd even recognizes her.

Now, with baby #2 just days away, I am super paranoid that MIL will make an appearance, or more likely that oldest SIL or DH will FORCE MIL to make one when baby is born. I personally feel like if she has no interest in my kids, thats her loss, but somehow this woman has these strange rights to be a jerk and get away with it in her family. I am dreading the thought of a coming war with DH that goes something like, "I know she's an a**, but its her grandchild, and she should come see her". When I say no (even if she doesnt want to come), I will of course be the a** and then it will be poor her again. I am seriously thinking of telling the hospital staff not to let her in, but I know she most likely will wait until we get home. It broke DH's heart last time that she couldnt be bothered to take a half hour car ride to see his first dd in the hospital. But forcing her just doesnt mean anything to me.....and makes me want to see her even less, if thats possible.

Ugh! Sorry....just stressed. I wish we lived out of state!!