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Blended Families
lookame3639
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standing up for myself
lookame3639
member
X is a major dbag. When we were together the way he chose to get his way with me was through manipulation and control and when that didnt work hed lie. Needless to say we separated after less than a year of marriage. Still he would lie and manipulate me and use DS as a major tool. We finally got divorced after several years of being separated. X has been dating a girl who is just like him in every way and has sone serious anger issues to the point of almost becoming violent with me during a custody transfer and has tried to litterally rip my son from my hands custody was being transferred from his time onto mine so I wasnt with holding custody. Needless to say I walk on egg shells. Recently they have been threatening me and harrassing me and have been trying to force me to do things. Finally I said enough and I wouldnt be at their beck and call anymore. They threatened and whined some more and eventually things have calmed down and have been reletively quiet. Part of me feels this is just calm before the next storm but its nice to not wake up to 15 messages all saying your gunna do this or else, if you dont do that than youll be sorry ill make sure of it. I know this is probably pointless but im having a moment of pride for myself right now.
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Re: standing up for myself
Oh hell no. I would not be letting them push you around or treat you that way. Especially the GF. Personally if I were you I would get a lawyer and put them in their place.
Who has primary custody? What is your visitation schedule? How old is your child?
This!!
Don't put up with that!!
Ds is 6, I have primary and visitation schedual is standard for the state EOWE and every weds for 3 hrs.
This for sure, my first thought was doing exchanges at a police station, very public place, etc and having a neutral 3rd party involved. Also, it may even take filing a police report for harassment every time you get messages and threats. It's not ok for someone to treat you that way and I'm so glad you decided to stand up for yourself! I honestly am not sure what it took, other than DH agreeing to it bc it wasn't worth a fight, but when DH and BM went through the original custody case she had it put in their final CO that a certain person could not be around SD and there was no cases of child abuse or anything at all against them. GL and I hope everything gets straightened out!
I am so very sorry you have had to deal with this. Typically people like you are describing have very low self-esteem and use bullying as a way to feel better about themselves. The more people they feel like they can control the better they feel. You probably set a really bad president while married to him and he has thrived on that. That is why it is very important for you to be assertive and not tolerate their harassment. I am not saying jump back into court, but don't play their games. Not responding to them when their behavior is not mature is going to drive them mad. They probably thrive on watching you act scared or defend yourself. Sometimes you just have to tell them you will not engage with them while they act like immature and when they are ready to be mature then you will gladly work with them. I have had to do that and sometimes nothing gets resolved, but it has ended any harassment.
As far as the girlfriend goes I would just not deal with her. Her behavior is scary and she had some demons of her own. Avoid any communication or conflict with her as much as you can. And the next time she gets aggressive with you, do not warn her, just call the police once you have your son safely with you. Also, start documenting everything. You never know when you are going to need it.