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Baby Showers
ftm072013
member
Meet the Baby Shower?
ftm072013
member
in Baby Showers
I am expecting my first, and MIL would like to throw the baby shower AFTER the baby has arrived and do a "meet the baby" shower. When do people have these? I have never really heard of doing this kind of shower before, unless it was a special circumstance (born premature or something). The part that is confusing me, is that MIL continues to remind DH & I that we shouldn't be buying anything for the baby. Well.. If she wants to do this kind of party, I wouldn't want to have the shower until at least 6 weeks after baby is born. How are we not supposed to buy anything for baby?!
Her reasoning for the "meet the baby" shower is that she believes that the earliest you should throw a shower is one month prior to the due date. That month is already filling up with plans for her so she doesn't want to plan it then. So she wants to do it after the baby is here. I think this is absurd, because I had already mentioned to her that many people suggest having the shower around 2 months before due date. But she believes it is too early. She had one weekend open that was 6 weeks prior to due date, but said it was too early.
Am I the only one that thinks this is completely absurd?!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Meet the Baby Shower?
I wouldn't say completely absurd, no.
She's hosting, so it's up to her. People have different ideas about showers. My MIL thinks its bad luck to have a shower before the baby is born (but my mom hosted mine and MIL was extremely generous at it)
As far as not buying anything for the baby, you definitely need either a car seat or an infant carrier/travel system, some clothes, diapers, wipes, hats, and a place for baby to sleep (crib/pack & play, co-sleeper, bassinet, etc), a couple swaddling blankets and that's pretty much it.
There really isn't much else you NEED to have at first. Newborns don't play with toys, and they do a lot of pooping, sleeping and eating - that's about it. I'd recommend getting a swing or a bouncy seat or a baby sling to give your arms a break but all the big purchases can wait. My friends didn't buy their son's crib until he was 6 months old.
I don't think the idea of waiting is totally ridiculous- some cultures (Jewish) believe it's better to wait until the baby arrives, etc. It kind of sounds like your mom just wants to show the baby off to her friends. When I host showers, I usually suggest a time around 32-36 weeks so the MTB has plenty of time to feel prepared and is still feeling good.
Since she's hosting, she does get the final say if you accept her shower. I do agree that you should go and buy whatever you feel you need for the baby (car seat, stroller, place to sleep, diapers/wipes/cream, bottles, some clothes, breastfeeding supplies, etc). To be honest, I used quite a bit in the first 6 weeks because we had DS in his own room at 2- so we needed the crib, bedding, monitor, etc. I would just register for things for a bigger baby- jumperoo, convertible car seat, toys and books, feeding supplies, etc.
FWIW, my pedi recommended not having baby around large groups of people for the first 6 weeks because an infection during that time would have meant automatic NICU admission....so I would plan this party at least 6-8 weeks out.
I agree that the date is completely up to her, and that is why I didn't tell her to change it. She had only asked me what dates I had available and went from there. She had also asked when I thought was a good time to have it, that is why I had mentioned to her 6-8 weeks before would be good timing, but ultimately it was up to her since she was kind enough to host. But DH and I have only bought a few things (crib, bassinet, carseat/stroller combo, and swing) and she was upset about this.
I had just thought it was absurd that she had requested that we don't buy anything for baby.. not even the carseat .. and to wait until we have the baby shower?
I also wasn't sure when people typically have these kind of showers? Do most people wait 6 weeks, at least?
Maybe she didn't realize that you can't take the baby home from the hospital without a car seat, so you do in fact need to have that prior to the birth. It might have just not occured to her.
I'd say 6 weeks after birth would be a good time, unless you have a c-section, then you might want a little extra time to recouperate.
It sounds like she is not really thinking this through. How did she expect you to get the baby home. The hospital will NOT allow you to take the baby without a car seat (is she aware of this?). You will obviously need a place for the baby to sleep and if you have a bassinet you really didn't have to buy a crib - yet. Since you bought the carseat as a combo then you've got that taken care of. I had 3 kids and could have done without the swing. My kids didn't like it. You'll obviously need more diapers (then what the hospital gives), receiving blankets, burp clothes and however way you intend to feed (nursing/bottle) supplies.
You can have a shower soon after the baby is born but I would "wear" the baby so people wll not ask to hold him/her. Obviously you would have to buy or borrow a sling for this.
Hopefully you can get her to take the date that is 6 weeks before your due date. Otherwise you will have to have a lot on your registry that is for an older baby (PNP, jumperoo, high chair, etc).